Falling From Grace

There’s nothing wrong with snickering about someone going oopsie-daisie once in a while. Many of us delighted in Chevy Chase’s impression of Gerald Ford on Saturday Night Live.  Falls and trips are funnier than farts by a yard.

I’ve been watching asshole righties make fun of the president for slips and falls. I watched them laugh and deride John Fetterman for having a stroke during his campaign. You cheap sons of bitches. You didn’t say a word when Ronald Reagan’s dementia had reached a zenith to the point where Nancy had to feed him his lines.

It is with this in mind that I try to be cool about Mitch’s recent struggle against what appears to be a mini-ischemic stroke. I bet it hurt.

Because I am a being of light and mercy, I do not wish suffering on most animals that need to die for us to survive. Mitch is one of those. The problem with being nice like this is that there is no afterlife of torment, so logic would dictate that he must suffer here to atone. Well, it won’t be at my hand because I can’t even countenance icing criminals who have done horrific things-I’m one of those folks who takes the Eighth Amendment seriously. I believe in a penal system that sequesters its offenders fairly. There’s nothing good about being incarcerated no matter how it appears. Many prisoners are in jail for bullshit. Punishments rarely fit the crime, blue collar sentences being much, much worse than white collar crimes. Reform is desperately need because you keep reading stories about how nghtmarish prison conditions are.

And so goes I, taking the path least traveled. I dunno…while I know Mitch is a pod person animated much like those ants that are zombies forever because of a brain eating parasite, I feel kinda shitty delighting in his physical pain. Our government decided it was ok to dole out physical pain as policy in the Middle Eastern conflicts, and I think that whole adventure sucks even as we continue to meddle from afar.

This is not browbeating nor counsel. It’s just me, calling balls and strikes. Enjoying suffering is playing on a losing team. Taken to its logical conclusion, it is we who would wield the torturer’s tools when dealing with our political enemies. I’d like to believe we can keep the national divorce somewhat civilized, even though there are signs that Gravy Seals and Keyboard Kommandoes and other assorted human flotsam will be on the march with their peashooters in some communities. I don’t want to go to war again. I did purchase a gas mask a few months back when I was having bipolar issues but you never know when the cops or the shallow end of the gene pool is going to show its face. I do feel that while yes, the gun control issue has reached pandemic level as to who has the guns, but fellow lefties, you are behind as I have written before. Take advantage of the Second Amendment before it gets watered down by well-meaning groups in full resistance against the exponential growth of weapons of war in our streets and grocery stores and schools. Let them know that some of us, like me, are deadly at 200 meters with a good ass rifle. I’m not allowed to have one.

Anyway, we ain’t showing our best asscheek when we laugh at the turtleman’s brain. I hope that it encourages him to hang it up-no one should enjoy the position of power McConnell holds while pushing 90. He’s a somewhat more genial version of Strom Thurmond, who voted the way he was supposed to and stayed well past his sell by date. Surely some young insurgent wants his job and will give the conservatives the wins they need. Shitting up the Supreme Court will be McConnell’s ultimate sin, and reflection from an ancient racist seems unlikely-thankfully, he won’t have time to write a boring book.

And just so you know, righty shitbirds, Mitch isn’t steady on his feet either these days.


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