Search Results for marsha blackburn

Dear God, Marsha Blackburn Is Stupid

I know you know that. Coherence has never been one of Marsha’s strong suits.

Her new thing? Protecting the grandmothers of America:

Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) on Tuesday accused Democrats of plotting to have the federal government take over child care and hurt grandmothers through provisions included in the Build Back Better Act, which was passed by the House on Nov. 19 and is currently under consideration in the Senate.

During an appearance on Fox News’ “The Faulkner Focus,” Blackburn told host Harris Faulkner, “They’re going to try to sweep up and federalize child care, increase the cost, and then prohibit a lot of grandmamas that are providing ‘mother’s day out’ services at the local church in your community from being able to go to work.

Hogwash. There’s no “federalization of childcare” in the bill other than that the federal government pays for it. Marsha probably thinks there’s some sort of brainwashing curriculum in the bill. States will be using Head Start curricula, hardly a controversial pedagogy. Or Marsha is lying, which she has been known to do. If you are poor or otherwise busied by the difficulties of self-improvement in this country and need subsidized or free childcare, get a certificate from the government and you can have it. There’s no logic to the statement that “costs will increase” for a program that is paid for by appropriations, either. Tax the ultra rich if you are worried about it. That statement about the “grandmamas” is a corker, though. Is she really saying it would put grandma out of work or stop her from volunteering? Churches can get these funds, so whatever. But she’s not done with the grandmamas thing yet:

Faulkner asked, “Why do that? Why?” Blackburn responded, “Because they want control. They don’t want grandmamas helping educate young mamas on how to rear babies. They want the federal government to certify people, get them to join a union, have them not show up for work.”

Control? To what end? What the fuck does that mean? Just because your kid goes to daycare does not mean that Grandma cannot impart advice on how to raise a child. Besides, Grandma is old. She loves your kid but she doesn’t really want to raise it half the day.

“They want the federal government to certify people”. I’m sorry, I’m just going to let this clause stand by itself as evidence that Marsha Blackburn is insane.

And why drag the unions into this? What’s so bad about mom joining a union that could get her better pay and working conditions? Obviously Marsha is employing a buzzword, which will only be heard by assholes.

And I have no idea why having your child in daycare will make you not want to go to work. I can’t see any relation to those two activities. Logic would dictate that it would be far easier to go to work if someone was watching your child.

I know I shouldn’t be enticed to decode Marsha Blackburn’s word salad, but sometimes low hanging fruit doesn’t taste all that bad.

Fly, Blackburn, Fly

Marsha-Marsha-Marsha Blackburn, representative of Tennessee, is a favorite here at the seminary. We love and simultaneously revile her for being one of the stupidest fucking congresspeople in the capitol. She’s puzzled a number of talking heads with her slightly retarded homespun conservatism, and this week her victim was CNN’s Alisyn Camerota, who ought to know what Blackburn is all about from being a Fox fox back in the O.G. days of that channel. Since we are now living in the novel 1984, Blackburn thinks that getting rid of the extra House oversight Democrats put in place 7 years ago will…wait for it…eh, I’ll let Marsha take it away:

“Any time you can provide more accountability and more transparency to any process that is in place, then you’re going to take another step toward draining the swamp,” Blackburn said, echoing a campaign promise by Donald Trump. “I am all for draining the swamp. I think that anyone who knows me knows that I’ve spent much of my career on reducing the size, the scope and the cost of the federal government, and in its place putting transparency and accountability.”

Got that?

Less oversight=more accountability.

Don’t think about it too much. This is Marsha Blackburn we are talking about.

But it was poor Camerota who needed to soldier on, and parried with a good rejoinder:

CNN’s Alisyn Camerota said, if she’s worried about transparency, that Blackburn should understand why Democrats were concerned that the measure was passed without their input during a nighttime, closed-door meeting.

Blackburn didn’t blink:

“Most people would say 5 o’clock in the afternoon is not at night,” Blackburn said, shrugging. “We could discuss that. It does start getting dark outside.”

It’s after business hours, dipshit. But semantics is often all these morons are good for. So anyway, she finishes with her own awkward false equivalence, the standard go-to when Republicans are cornered:

Blackburn suggested congressional Democrats were hypocrites for holding a private strategy session with President Barack Obama.

“The Democrats have their meeting behind closed doors also, and on Wednesday, when the president comes to talk to them about how to fight against the repeal of Obamacare, they’re going to do that one behind closed doors,” Blackburn said, punctuating her attack with a wink.

What fucking adult WINKS in the middle of a serious conversation? Sarah Palin and Marsha Blackburn do, I guess. But that’s beside the point. A secret vote was held without Democrats about disbanding oversight mechanisms. That is not the same as discussing strategies to resist the destruction of Obamacare. Rules changes are fucking important-and shutting out the minority party from voting is real cloak and dagger bullshit.

Fortunately, they will not be getting away with it. Good old people power and a bizarre rebuke from The Don saved the day. My hope for this country’s future is stronger knowing that even House Republicans can feel shame.

Here’s a link to the clip, so you can watch Camerota’s pain trying to get a handle on a very slippery politician. I haven’t figured out how to embed Twitter video, sorry.

Only Time Can Write A Song

I swear, it’s like half the civilized world knows the planet is falling apart, and the other 50 percent is oblivious, doesn’t care, or wouldn’t know what to do with that information if they had it.

I have an old, brilliant friend who I have known for nearly three decades. He nearly drank himself to death while we were in our twenties, and has since turned his life around and is a family man with a wife (who is as crazy as he likes ’em) and five chihuahuas. We were “punks” back in the nineties I guess, but I think it was our self destructive tendencies more than it was the injustices of the world that bonded the coterie that my brilliant friend was the head of. So we got down to The Dead Kennedys and The Clash, but our anger was an abstract. I was having a hard time establishing my own identity in those days-everyone who got near my friend got something out of being in his orbit. Even at his worst, when he was at his most pathetically drunk and incoherent, he drew us like the proverbial moth to the flame.

So as far as personal politics went in those days, I could not decide who was right about the human species-were we a group of cooperative apes who assisted and supported each other mutually, or were we a hierarchy where individuals flourished and were rightfully elevated above others by the strength of will, an idea, or an ability to gather capital? Left or right? Who were we at core? I careened between The Communist Manifesto and Atlas Shrugged as time went by. I was into some zero-sum shit for a while there. I switched from shirts to skins and back several times before I arrived at where I am now, which is to the left of Phil Ochs (kidding, of course). And at 48, I can safely say there I will stay.

My friend? I am sad to report the dark side has claimed him. I suppose I should not be surprised, because he had a distinctive, uncommon intellect that could easily look down upon a great deal of people with its raw power. I think that’s why he hewed right so hard, because his story is very bootstrappish in that he overcame odds to be where he is now and perhaps feels that anyone can do the same. I don’t know if it’s that simple, but that’s a bedrock theme for conservatives. They often fail to remember is how much help they got on the way up and the thing to do is pay that shit forward to the next soul who needs a hand.

Anyway, while I was on my latest Facebook jag, I drew his ire by mocking Marsha Blackburn and how she has her head in the sand as to how bad things are getting on our blue marble. I offhandedly referenced that the Doomsday Clock was at 100 seconds to midnight, a closeness to doom as we have ever been as far as the Atomic Scientists were concerned.

He hoped that I wasn’t taking their concerns as “science”. I replied of course I wasn’t, but that didn’t invalidate the points the group were making about things like nuclear war and climate change. We went back and forth and he said something startling to me; that the end of humanity will occur in a flash and no one will be able to do anything about it.

I guess that’s cold comfort in a world of uncertainty, but the truth of the matter, as you and I know, is the end of humanity is being hastened by processes in motion RIGHT NOW and if we don’t repent, we are going to end in that flash my friend mentioned.

But make no mistake, our destruction has been on slow boil for a while now; we are only recently getting smart enough now to be dimly aware of what we have really done to the planet. And perhaps that’s one reason why that clock keeps edging close to midnight because the news is bad, worse than we ever dreamed. And I am fully aware that the earth will shrug our species off and in a few million years sentient roaches will take our place-but the point is to preserve the planet for our crew for as long as possible.

The other reason the scientists worry is because of the proliferation of nuclear weaponry. Let’s see…we’ve got Pakistan and India getting hot about Kashmir, our wetbrained American president pulled us out of the Iran nonproliferation deal and in retaliation they have begun to enrich nuclear fuel to more refined levels, and now I see we’re gaming out nuclear scenarios that will not result in MAD. Yeah, right. I’ve long suspected the U.S. is also gaming out getting away with a first strike unanswered, but a limited exchange like the ones described in the article seems unlikely. I don’t think there is such a thing. It’s like that old movie from the 80s said: the name of the game is Global Thermonuclear War. There’s no other options-everybody dies in every scenario, unless perhaps we sit down and play some chess if we have a hankering for a contest.

The easy route is to do nothing and let our destructive ways claim us. But I believe we have a choice still. There’s so much work to do towards that. We don’t let the rope go slack because of a hard tug. We have to stop the brinksmanship now. Because that clock, however unscientific it is, is fucking ticking and we need to confront the existential challenges this species is faced with while we still have a minute and change left.

My Stupid Meter Just Broke

OK. Let’s get the easy stuff taken care of. I’ve already told you that Marsha Blackburn usually doesn’t know what the fuck she is talking about. So it is no surprise she couldn’t extemporize when asked to explain herself to a reporter re: “christian persecution”.

Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) told reporters that Christians face persecution in the United States. But when a journalist pressed Blackburn for examples of Christian persecution on American soil, Blackburn could cite nary an example, the Huffington Post reports.

“Can you be specific about the instances in which you feel that Christians are being persecuted?” a reporter inquires of Blackburn.

“You know, there have been several lately. There’ve. Um. I can’t give you a specific (pause) right off the cuff,” Blackburn shrugs. “I’m sorry.”

You would think that since the issue is so dear to her, she’d remember what it was she is referring to. But never bet on Marsha Blackburn to do any thinking.

Now it’s bad enough that she is consistently a witless moron on the issues whom somebody, somewhere elected to high office. But the coup de grace in the article is this:

Blackburn has been a particularly effective advocate against efforts by “the Obama administration… to regulate our ceiling fans after attacking light bulbs and wood stoves.” The conservative news site quotes Blackburn as saying: “Just like stretching their tentacles into light bulbs and so many other areas of our home, what they are doing is pricing people out of the ceiling fan market.”

And that was when my mind snapped.

Tennessee, until you fire this total mess of a representative, you are hereby relegated to the quarantine list.

Friday Night Massacre

Look! I found some journalism! Ashleigh Banfield of CNN obliterates Congrescritter Marsha Blackburn in a five minute fireblast. She’s on record criticizing the President for not using enough force against ISIS. Banfield wanted specifics as to what he should do. A vacant Blackburn repeatedly blithered out a bunch of crap about “generals on the ground”, “coalitions”, and even managed to trot out the names of the military units stationed in her district. Clap, clap. Banfield shot down every talking point she had.

It was kind of like watching a cat play with a half-dead bird. Sorry about the ad at the beginning, but this is good TV:

Thanks, Liberals Unite. Up you go on the ‘roll.

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