Search Results for tucker carlson is an asshole
I keep returning to the asshole well. That’s because it doesn’t run dry.
In my to do list is to finish the goddamn story about how I became a lefty, and I’ve been compiling stories that suggest to me that something big is gonna go down in America, like in a violent way. When (or if) the Republican Party is finally exposed for the criminal organization that it is, I think we’re going to pop off into a civil war-and I want to be ready, although my wife does not want me to be a soldier again.
Anyway, I’m biting at the Tucker bait because I think it’s funny and judging by the amount of people who come here to see what an asshole he is, it’s the sensible thing to write about. I need to give the people what they want.
So, how many of us remember “Ol’ Blood And Guts”?
No, not Patton.
A more current warmongerer is who I had in mind.
Hm. I don’t seem to have any stuff about Colonel Ralph Peters on this blog. That means I haven’t heard from him in over six years. He’s one of Fox News’ “analysts” and go-to guys on all things war, even though the good colonel has never been to one. Ralph’s a cantankerous fella, more old man than old soldier. You can reasonably assume that his appearances and writing will be over the top, and therefore hilarious. Here’s a few of his greatest hits. Kill, kill, kill for peace, hang the traitors by their thumbs and take the booty because it’s the white man’s burden to civilize the world.
Did I mention that Ralph is old? Ralph is so old, he’s a Republican who remembers that t
he Soviet Union Russia is not our friend. And don’t you forget it, sonny, or you’ll get a tongue lashing.
That’s the mistake that Tucker Carlson made, who is young and does not remember fallout shelters and desk drills and being an ass hair from mutually assured nuclear annihilation. Now look-I’m not saying that historical enemies cannot be our friends. But if you think about it, you generally have to waste them to get them to be nice, a la Germany, Japan and even Vietnam in the long run. We never broke Russia to the point where it pledged to be good after we crushed it. And we did the enemy-of-my-enemy-is-my-friend thing with them already. When our common aims were achieved, which was ridding the world of the Nazis, we went on hating them and every godless thing they stood for.
Now it could be argued that we are at that place again, this time against ISIS. But really, no one gives a jolly fuck about ISIS but us, partially because we keep picking at a scab called 9/11. That’s the story for the rubes in the United States, anyway. What we’ve actually been up to is trying to control the globe, cynically using our collective fear of terror (and make no mistake, the “terrorists” are today’s Red Menace) as a pretext to gobble up more power. We never stopped trying to hem Russia in while they spiraled into chaos in the 80s. Since then we’ve grown NATO, made buddy-buddy with breakaway soviets, and are moving antiballistic missiles closer and closer to the Russian border. I really think we are still trying to game out getting away with an unanswered nuclear first strike.
Then Vladimir Putin came along. An ex-KGB creep turned technocrat, he embraced capitalism, Christianity, and politically motivated murder while using Russia’s formidable oil wealth to mount a defense of itself. He has crushed rebellions and annexed land as he expands his power. And if you are an enemy of America, he wants to know you.
We are NOT angels, but Vladimir Putin is probably not a good person and not to be trusted whatsoever. We are at cross purposes with him in Syria. He’s pummeling the resistance to Bashar-Al Assad ruthlessly, and setting ISIS back on its heels a little in the process. We’ve had less luck in this area because we are futilely trying to arm the small resistance that has both ISIS and Assad as its nemeses. We’re trying to thread a needle here-because any further aggression against Assad is probably not going to sit well with Putin. We’re already in something approaching a proxy war with him already, and there seems to be no appetite here for a more direct one that could send this whole world to hell.
Anyway, it looks like Putin’s recent skulduggery took the form of trying to curry favor with an entire American political party, particularly one that would work with and protect one President Donald J. Trump and associates in order to advance Russian interests. After the country suffered six months of smoke inhalation, we’ve finally found some still glowing embers of the conflagration that we’re calling collusion. And it’s not going to go away. The American political system has never been tested in this way before-this is “new snow”, as I saw it put once. It’s so new, there might not be laws against it, I fear. But surely there is something odious and unethical at the very least about letting a rival nation ratfuck an American election. Our elections stink of illegal and unethical behavior as it is with caging and allegations of machine hacking. But the reachout to Russia must qualify as something in the “misdemeanor” part of the impeachment clauses, if Herr Trump is indeed red-handed. And that’s just the president-this dragnet could ensnare high ranking Republicans outside of Trump’s inner circle.
But you didn’t come here to listen to me tell you shit you already know. You want the good shit, where your suspicions that Tucker Carlson is an asshole can be confirmed. I don’t know what his producers were thinking when they put Peters, a temperamental cold warrior, on Tucker’s show to discuss how better we can work with Russia because they are achieving one of our foreign policy goals (while undermining another, because not only is Tucker an asshole, he’s a damn fool as well). Here’s the exchange:
You can read a partial transcript here, if you have no patience for how wrongly both of these people see the world before the sparks fly. But basically, Col. Peters said that Carlson was like Charles Lindbergh in 1938 who said he had no issues with Hitler because he hasn’t attacked the United States.
Boom, Ol’ Blood And Guts, boom.
So, is Putin Hitler? I don’t know really know enough about him. But the general rule is Hitler, and only Hitler, is Hitler. Peters is no stranger to hyperbolic thinking, but that doesn’t necessarily make him wrong in being worried about their expansion. The potential is certainly there. Peters is upset that the Russian military bombs indiscriminately. As if we have never done that. He props up vicious dictators like the Assad family. We do that shit all the time. So really, is Russia any more terroristic than we are? Not really. We are two sides of the same coin. But both of us are trying to divvy up the world, and Putin wants a few pieces and Tucker’s like, have at it, Russkies. And we don’t know how far they will go, and that’s why I’ll go with Peters’ assessment before I go trying to shake hands with the country who will try to run the board if we don’t. Personally, I wish we could stop playing Risk but bowing out of the imperial struggle does not guarantee that the other player wants to stop. And that’s where Carlson fucks up, failing to understand that we are two empires in competition and it’s not worth extending Russian reach across the globe in order to advance a narrow, misdirected foreign policy objective partly because we can Never Forget.
I’ve been waiting like Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now for Tucker Carlson to be an asshole again.
Oh, I’m sure he has been an asshole every day since we last spent time with him-Tucker Carlson wakes an asshole, puts his asshole clothes on, goes to his asshole job at Fox and lays his head down on his asshole pillow as an asshole, only to awake as a refreshed asshole once again.
I’m not really obsessed with the guy, much as it may seem. I am doing this for the Google page ranking, which shows me as the third most popular authority on Tucker Carlson’s assholism.I would love to fill that page with my shit.
Tucker’s nothing but another conservative poseur in the land of actual hard nosed-journalists, a more genial version of Sean Hannity, who’s another faux toughguy asshole who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about on the regular. There’s nothing hard about Tucker Carlson-how can you be tough when you look like a prop that came from a McDonaldland off the interstate?
What, you don’t see it?
So anyway, Tucker’s been in the news twice in recent memory being Don Quixote, who had delusions about what he was fighting. He allowed a performance artist to punk him for nearly seven minutes on live TV before he realized he was trying to out a fraud. It was great television, showing us how fucking sloppy Fox News is:
You owe it to yourself to watch that.
Wasn’t that great? But Tucker trumped himself recently by lying flat-out about a guest he wanted to “press”. He wants to know why people are still protesting when he thinks it isn’t doing any good, if that makes any sense-so he tried to book an event organizer. His feelers went untouched, so he decided instead to cast an actor, totally unaffiliated with the marches to be the strawman he could tear up for not being able to recite chapter and verse the Trump administration and its allies’ attempts to marginalize and discriminate against the LGBTQ community. To be fair, Trump’s been reeeal cautious about rolling back LGBTQ gains from the previous administration…he’s kind of caught between Scylla and Charybdis-not that I care, mind you, that’s what he makes half a million dollars a year to do-make good decisions. I’m fairly sure he will side with his base, since he could cover the Statue Of Liberty with rainbow glitter and still not get the LGBTQ vote. Remains to be seen.
Anyway, here’s Tucker, pretending to take down big game:
Well folks, I hope that’s enough for you now. I’ll be here making light of Tucker Carlson in the near future, I’m sure. One never knows, he could be halfway through a bottle of Chivas some night and drunkenly Google things like “Am I an asshole?” and I will be here with his answer.
UPDATE Feb 28, 2017: Alert reader catches Tucker being a raging asshole to Bill Nye, who did his best to answer queries about climate change. Tucker asked his questions and then talked over Nye’s answers repeatedly. Carlson didn’t hear a fucking word he said for almost ten minutes. He ended the segment proclaiming that Nye didn’t know what he was talking about, and declared triumphantly that he had an open mind and Bill did not. All he really did was ignore Nye’s patient explanations. What a waste of time for the science guy.
UPDATE: I had to change the YouTube links because Fox needed to cover for their dork.
UPDATE 29 Mar 2017: Fox is still scrambling to pull down these clips.
UPDATE 18 May 2017: Still trying to keep clips up. It’s because I love you.
Even kids know that we were awful to Native Americans. We destroyed their way of life, forcibly converted them to our religion, and took their land with impunity. Then we killed a lot of them. So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that they don’t want to remember that dark period in their history. On the other hand, it’s the type of thing you don’t want to forget, lest it happen again.
In light of this, St. Louis University has removed from their campus a statue of a white preacher, converting some Native Americans on their knees. It’s an offensive tableau, and the school was right to remove it and send it to an art museum. But some white people couldn’t deal, and one of them was Tucker Carlson. You’re not going to believe this, but he accused the school of “reverse racism” against whites on Fox “News”:
Carlson didn’t buy the idea that the image of a European missionary towering above two Native Americans while holding a cross and converting them could possibly suggest white supremacy (or Christian supremacy), however.
“Why? Because he was a white supremacist?” Carlson asked, missing the point of the decision by a wide margin. “No! Because he was white!”
Tucker then tore off on a rant, saying that the college was “committing an act of racism” and “[DeSmet’s] skin color is itself considered so offense by the school that the statue itself can no longer be on display” –even though the statue will still be on display in the Museum of Art.
Poor, poor white people. So put upon. They’ve been discriminated against, killed, disenfranchised and enslaved. Right? Oh, maybe I’m talking about the history of every non-white person in America. My bad.
Tucker, like most conservatives, does not know the meaning of racism. Racism occurs when you feel yourself to be superior to another group. Because of that, “reverse racism” means absolutely nothing. I have yet to run into the minority who feels itself “superior” to whites. It’s just not their bag. It’s ours. You don’t have a choice to be “racist” as the antagonized group.
Fuck these Whitey-McWhitewhites like Carlson and his ilk. They have unbelievable balls whinging that they are being discriminated against. They don’t know what that means. Because they never went through that horror, and never will.
UPDATE Dec 8, 2016: This page gets hit at least 1-3 times a day. A virtual cookie for someone who can tell me how they got here, because Google masks its search terms to me.
UPDATE Dec 9, 2016: First part in a series on why he’s still an asshole up now.
UPDATE Feb 22, 2017: I didn’t forget, I’m just slow. More assholic behavior from Carlson.
Every now and then I get frequent hits on old postings. Let me rank 2016’s most popular posts.
April 2016: Coming in a distant third is a piece on police brutality.
March 2016: A story about Nancy Reagan’s oral talents came in second.
And then, with absolutely no explanation, with more hits than second and third place put together…
May 2015: I relate that Tucker Carlson is an asshole.
Tucker continues to this very day to bring hits to my little site. I am aware that I am the third return for “tucker carlson is an asshole” on Google. Now granted, Tucker’s riding high as ever, with a hotshit website, a fellowship at Cato, and a new job at Fox. But I didn’t know that so many folks are searching for insults toward the man because of it.
What’s the deal, gang?
Well, I guess since Tucker is such a draw, I must write about him again. I’m sure he’s out there, being an asshole about something, somewhere. Let me take a look.
First hit: Tucker Carlson’s war on elitism. Let’s talk about that. I sure want to hear what a man who wore a fucking bowtie for half his professional career has to say about the snobbish.
Right now, we have a majority of the voting population who hates “elitism”. As usual, conservatives are remarkably challenged about what an “elite” is. Actual elites are making up 90% of the Trump cabinet, and the man himself is one as well. All he did was say enough Everyman dumb shit, repeated a bunch of Big Lies, and the rubes wanted more. See, “elitist” has become a epithetic substitution for “knowledgeable”. If you speak over the level of a fourth grader and critically think out of the box at all, you must be living in an ivory tower(whatever the fuck that means). So basically, what we are staring in the face come ’17 is an all-out war on academia and the press. The conservative rabble wants Newspeak, not facts. I have gotten into the muck more than I care to admit by arguing with them, and it’s getting to the point where I don’t understand what they are saying anymore because they use all this weird quasi-jargon they’ve picked up by “non-elitist” media. The advent of talk radio conglomerates gave us Rush Limbaugh, who made a living attacking institutions (calling public schools “scruels”…man, I love conservative humor, don’t you?) and people by turning words like “liberal” and “feminist” into insults. I mean, I could go back to Bircherism to find the roots of conservative Newspeak-others may be able to go farther back than that, like Chip Berlet. But this trash is now accessible to anyone who can push a button. The thing is, bullshit gubbermint conspiracies like “socialism” and “multiculturalism” are much easier to believe in than actual political science or persuasive journalism that is trying to warn them that Republicans are gunning for poor peoples’ food and medicine, or that hate crimes are on the rise or that Trump is militarizing his foreign policy outreach or that cutting taxes is ruining Kansas and your state might be next and I could go on and on. Thinking, it turns out, is hard. Something has gone seriously wrong where we stop believing our educated resources for facts. In their place is Donald Trump’s Twitter account.
So anyway, can Tucker Carlson say something intelligent about the elite and elitism?
Carlson, a conservative journalist who most recently founded The Daily Caller, a right-leaning online publication, holds ardent views about small government, excessive regulation, and a multitude of other issues typically shared among Republicans.
But the issue he perhaps is most passionate about these days cuts across party lines: He describes it as a distaste for elitism, particularly among political journalists who reside in the Acela corridor.
“What bothers me is the lack of self-awareness. I don’t know if I have ever met a group less self-aware than political reporters,” Carlson told Business Insider in a recent interview. “They honestly don’t believe that there are legitimate alternative views of anything. And like most small-minded and dumb people they are very, very quick to dismiss anything they don’t understand as crazy.”
Hm. Tucker Carlson is a political reporter and runs a site full of them. Must be non-self aware, I guess. IOKIYAR. He is basically signing on to the Trump credo that there aren’t any facts anymore. Truths are relative. While this may philosophically be a tenable position, it’s a scary way to play politics. There are facts and things we can know for certain, and they are not challengeable by “alternative views”. They are, to be blunt, wrong. A great example of this recently was the Weather Channel having to correct Breitbart for misrepresenting and misunderstanding the fundamentals of climate change. The “legitimate alternative view” was that the planet is cooling. It turns out that Breitbart didn’t know what the fuck it was talking about. And that is the fundamental characteristic of these views-they’re ill-informed. And they’re all over the place, thanks to people like Carlson who quixotically try to bring the “elite” down.
Small minded and dumb, eh, Tucker?
Pro-ject-ion. I’m all for keeping an open mind, but I’m not listening to bullshit.
What other non self-aware stuff is he saying in yonder story about elites?
Following Trump’s unforeseen election victory, the journalism community went into self-evaluation mode, hoping to understand how it had failed to see a Trump win on the horizon.
One of the immediate conclusions was that reporters had become too encapsulated in some sort of bubble. They had failed to detect, and thus understand, the sentiment of Americans residing in the heartland.
That was a conclusion with which Carlson wholeheartedly agreed.
Referencing a widely circulated quote from conservative Wisconsin-based talk-radio host Charlie Sykes, in which he suggested conservative voters were stuck in a bubble and only accepting news from right-wing sources, Carlson said the same was true of the mainstream media.
“It’s the mirror image of the world I live in,” Carlson said. “In Washington, no one believes anything unless it comes from The New Yorker, New York Times editorial page, or The Washington Post. There’s not just one bubble.”
Tucker Fucking Carlson lives in a two million dollar DC home. What world does he live in? Bueller?
At least Tucker can admit he’s in a bubble…almost. But watch carefully what Carlson is up to. He’s slandering Northeastern liberalism and the educated folk who come from there. It’s the permanently blue-voting land of ultimate urbanity-young, crowded, relatively wealthy, politically active, and schooled well enough to have a sense of social responsibility to the least of them. He’s from fucking San Francisco, so he knows those are his people across the way. But for whatever reason, Tucker probably prefers the opinions of some cow humpers in North Dakota or West Virginia instead because I figure he’s in love with the Lockean idea that workers of the land create something special and very important to Carlson and conservatives in general-property, and to a larger degree, he’s also heavily invested in the idolization of work. So he’s also fond of the opinions of people whom industry has left behind in the Midwest, I guess. Those (white) people are easy to rile up and you don’t have to look far for scapegoats. But it’s not that Carlson loves labor-he loves the authenticity, in my opinion. It helps him deal with the fact that he’s good for nothing. He’s a goddamn Episcopalian, which makes him about as necessary as an atheist in the Baptist land, but that’s another one of Carson’s adopted milieus. He romanticizes the heartland in some bizarre mechanism of self-loathing. At bottom, it’s likely a cynical calculation has also been made. Conservative media has been a cottage industry for well-nigh on two decades now, and the Daily Caller, like all right-wing projects, has a built-in, heavily propagandized and guaranteed readership/viewership.
Carlson is naive at best, and dangerous at worst to single out certain news outlets that cover Washington-two of those are papers of record, and for all their faults, are still doing the heavy lifting in journalism while the rest of us copy it. I suspect Tucker doesn’t get the cartoons in the New Yorker, so he threw them in there as well. But what I want to make clear is that he’s doing exactly what Trump and the rest of the conservative information outlets are doing-trying very hard to make people resistant to factual news. They’ve made a cuss word, a smear out of the term “mainstream”. More code and dog-whistling. If your average brainwashed Republican rube sees or hears that, they know instinctively that it is false information and can be tuned out.
This is all coming from a rather longish profile of Carlson. And my response is getting long. I may have to put this in installments, because it’s rather distracting at this point. Can I stay interested in him long enough to finish this screed? Can you?
I seem to be hitting a little speedbump in titling screeds about Tucker Carlson and how much of an asshole he is. So I twisted a Pet Shop Boys lyric a little, in part because that’s what I thought they were saying all these years after MTV brought them to me.
So. Bill O’ Reilly is gone, leaving a huge vacuum in the Fox universe, one waiting to be filled by some other conservative apologist and railer against any kind of change in the world. Enter Tucker Carlson. Now, I expect Bill O’ Reilly to pine for the days of white yore. He was old. Tucker, on the other hand, is only a few years older than I am. The “things aren’t how they used to be” bitching doesn’t work coming from him, there’s just an inescapable inauthenticity in his shtick.
Basically, he’s full of shit. I am unsure that he is aware of this. Either Fox told him to imitate O’ Reilly or he’s a cranky geezer in a 48 year old body that thinks anything old must be good. Here’s Tucker, defending fucking Christopher Columbus, with the disingenuousness turned up to 11 as usual:
You can parse all that bullshit for yourself, if you like. I haven’t the time nor the inclination to stop and start this half-assed Gish Gallop of nonsense. Sorry.
So-it’s a war on “the West”, eh, Tucker? Fuck you. You and I know that’s just doublespeak for white European culture, which Carlson thinks is the only thing that has helped all of the mud people in the world walk on two legs and read a Bible.
This is all very amusing coming from the right wing, who hates an actual victim but being a pretend one is A-OK.
“Reason, tolerance, free inquiry – those are Western civilization’s central gifts to the world”, he says, after taking a dump on any type of inquiry that doesn’t genuflect to traditional thinking.
I know he thinks he’s cute and clever. I’m guessing his smarmy, smug, face-punchable act is going over well with the AARP demographic who is happy to see that some young people were brought up right. Fortunately, the trend of education and knowledge in today’s young folks is heading the opposite way, learning real tolerance and out-of-the-box thinking, and we know that because of the proliferation of simpletons like Tucker coming to the rescue the indefensible in our history. Conservatives are scared and confused because they live a lie. They have their own universe in which nothing needs to change, buttressed by an information stream replete with assholes who keep the comfortable lies fresh, fresh as if they were something new.
(Began May 31, 2017)
Hello, occasional visitor.
It has been some time between sessions at the seminary. And I really can’t tell you why. I have no excuses. I began a whirlwind autobiography on how I became a filthy libtard and have not returned to it; and Tucker Carlson has pretty much been pinning the asshole meter at Fox.
Perhaps it’s like this. Lately, every damn day is nothing but a harrowing procession of stories about Donald Trump’s reign of error. It’s like a blitzkrieg of shit news. Just this morning, Trump is purported to be ready to withdraw from an environmental agreement that the entire world signed up for except for Nicaragua and Syria. By the time the day is over, there will be three or four more bombshells about the bankruptcy and fecklessness of this administration. It could be another story about yet another campaign promise which the president has done a 180 on. Or one on how he’s draining the swamp in reverse, 1984 style. Another on how he’s becoming like a talentless Brian Wilson at his worst. Maybe, at the end of a day full of missteps and miscues, there will be a tweet at 11:59 that suggest the president is eating Lunesta by the scoopful.
And then there’s Russia, where every day we find a new connection to Trump and his cabal. How anyone wants to slog through that is beyond me. That’s for real journalists, not me. Bless those people.
What I am trying to say, before I get to saying what I want to say, is that it’s all become rather exhausting. I must be fatigued. It is far easier to share new fresh hell on Facebook with a click than it is to expound on what’s coming down the shit chute at any given hour.
I am slowly coming around to the idea that what is happening is that it’s just another day in America, and that Donald Trump has become, oddly enough…normal.
Is he fucking up the country?
Is it a day that ends in Y?
But I’ve got to try to deal with it better and not get swamped. I seem to have clammed up a bit because of Trump fatigue. This isn’t the first time this has happened to me here. Nor is it the second.
Then there are others who simply lash out, and that’s not exactly where I want to be either. Oh, there are times when I am a bit more demonstrative against the forces that teach us to resent each other, cause suffering, and spread hate, ignorance and misunderstanding. For example, I live in Georgia. We have a bluegrass festival every year. I don’t love the genre, but the musicianship is fairly amazing. I used to really dig the Dead and now I know where their roots are. These bluegrass folk clearly love to play their instruments. One dude last year plugged in a mandolin and I swear that his solo was goddamn heavy metal. This year, The Avett Brothers came and they did “Black Hole Sun” in memoriam of a rocker. Anyway, so I’m in a red state in a deep red county, about to go party with a few thousand pale-faced country music lovers, and this is what I chose to wear:
As should be well known by now, poor white people, especially in states like Georgia, believe they’re going to be rich someday if only their taxes were lowered so they wouldn’t have to feed the grubby ni**ers and illegals. They consistently vote for the rich people most likely to do them economic harm. Makes no sense. So I got accosted by more than one jackhole who wanted to argue with me about my shirt. We were all drunk so at one point my wife had to rescue me from trying to converse with the lizard people.
Permit me the clumsy segue. Let’s talk about if it’s “OK to punch the Nazi“. More specifically, we need to talk about whether or not it’s OK for the left to get into violence.
I need to admit it: I enjoyed watching professional racist Richard Spencer get walloped in the head by a counterprotester. Oh, come on, you thought it was great too.
It was kind of a watershed moment for today’s American left, where anarchy (or what we are now calling “antifa”) was introduced to a mainstream liberalism for whom nonviolence has been a key tenet for almost 40 years. Most of us are more the disciples of Martin Luther King Jr. than we are the Weather Underground. We march and we ridicule instead of break windows and burn effigies.
It feels good, good to know we are together now to resist. It also may be working on some fronts. I think mobilization has really blunted any Republican taste for much of the awful legislation people like Trump and Paul Ryan want to pass. In many corners, we are winning because we stand side by side. Organization is very important to left causes, because we have to work against a heavily propagandized right wing citizenry who has the entire AM dial, a cable “news” network and a well-developed internet presence bellowing disinformation and nastiness to it all day and night. I lament that we needed Donald Trump to really wake us up, but for better or worse, here we are.
So do we need to go further? Do we need to be disruptive in other ways that aren’t as comfortable? Is it time to move, time to get down? Time to
Because the hate is gettin’ fairly fuckin’ thick out there. You have to be blind to miss it, and still so many are. It took Donald Trump’s win to really galvanize the right wing as well, you see…hence this “alt-right” which is the id that the right wing superego could no longer contain. They’ve always talked here and there about a civil war between conservatives and liberals for as long as I can remember, which is one reason the guns keep flying from the shelves. And I hope the day does not come when Portland happens weekly because the wheels will really start to come off and sides will get chosen. I may not be here for it, but the kids most definitely will if we don’t find common ground and understanding. That may not be in the offing…I’m not terribly sanguine about the future. We may have broken the country for good this time. Time is the only thing that will tell us.
In the meantime, we good liberals are getting a bit froggier than usual. Stephen Colbert, erstwhile mild-mannered nighttime talk show host, has opined that Vladimir Putin’s dick should go into Donald Trump’s mouth when he’s not using it. Conservatives, who ordinarily have disdain for the politically correct and the easily offended, bitched and whined without irony that he had gone too far, and to Colbert’s credit, he didn’t back down. What Stephen realizes is that you can’t win with these ‘tards. They’ll get on you no matter what you do. What you believe as a liberal is enough to enrage them daily, they don’t need a harsh, pointed joke at their movement’s leader to begin their calumny.
So give ’em a kick in the family values. It’ll feel good and it’s fun to watch them holler. It’s not like they’re going to slow down on their offensive behavior, why should we hold our tongues for the sake of having manners? Manners are only of use when the receiver appreciates them.
I’ve been at this here and there all day today. I’m going to break here for some covfefe. Pleasant dreams.
(June 1, 2017)
Now. On to headier stuff.
Most of us past the age of thirty have a passing familiarity with comedienne Kathy Griffin. Most of us past the age of forty actually remember when she was funny. To her credit, she has survived through force of will in various iterations of a career. She did the sitcom thing, she hit the faghag circuit for a good bit, had a reality show, and every 365 days she earns a little making inappropriate sexual advances towards a gay man on TV for about two hours before an inane occurrence celebrated by drunk, maudlin sots wearing stupid number-shaped glasses otherwise known as the end of the calendar year.
Well, if we didn’t know it before, we definitely found out Tuesday that Kathy has an internet presence as well.
She’s probably as famous now as she has ever been. I saved a copy of one of the stills from a hard-to-forget photo shoot she did because I had a feeling it wouldn’t be around much longer. It has been mostly scrubbed from the polite part of the internet if Google searches are any indication. Only right wing ragefest websites like Breitbart are still hosting these pictures so they can make hypergeneralizations about the violence inherent in the left wing movement, once again without a trace of irony or self-awareness. I’m gonna post the picture, not because I want to put Donald’s battered head on a pike, or eat him (I like a little marbling, but not too much). I much prefer an option like exile a la Napoleon when the Terror comes to beheading a la King Louis XVI. But I think it does a disservice to Kathy to wipe away her statement, which she, unlike Colbert, would now desperately like to have disappear for feelings that are understandable, but unnecessary. For a shining moment, she summed up how done she was with this cheap ill-tempered loathsome criminal pretending to be a leader, protected by the glorious First Amendment. And she shared the fuck out of it.
And you righties thought you had the monopoly on political incorrectness. You’re a bunch of bitches compared to Griffin. Move over.
So the discussion still needs to be had: is it OK to get violent and still be a good lefty?
I’m going to answer in the affirmative after careful consideration of several dynamics. See, one of the reasons I think Griffin’s stunt fucked so many people up because it was visual.
And it was red and it was bloody.
It simply could not be ignored.
People have visceral reactions to visuals of this sort. Christ, remember when the Beatles wound some chop meat around themselves for an album cover?
That cover lasted about as long as Kathy Griffin’s stunt. People just couldn’t hack it, if you’ll pardon my accidental pun.
So there’s an “in your face and fuck you” compositional quality about it that causes it to dwarf some of the awful, inartful things people would do to Barack Obama’s effigies in absolute terms of violence.
Visuals, especially well done ones, are potent. They’re the first thing that comes to mind if you ask someone what art is.
Let’s use another medium for contrast. I have been a consumer of music for many moons now. And not even bands like The Crucifucks or MDC or Suicidal Tendencies, who all spoke of corporal violence against authority figures at a time when Kathy Griffin was still doing open mike night, move my needle as being necessarily shocking:
Do you see what I’m getting at? There’s a level of immediacy in visuals that leaves some other art in the dust. That’s not to say that the hardcore punks were tame in any way, they were breaking down barriers with sound that attacked you, much like the colors and imagery in the Griffin photo shoot. But singing “I wanna kill the president, chop off his head” is not the same as photographing yourself as someone who did the deed.
I’m ranking the senses, not ranking the expressions-I will always cherish “Our Will Be Done” and share it with other high-minded patrons of art and rebellion before I ever pull out Kathy’s photo.
Again, consider another medium. Are there sufficient words to describe the passion of Christ? Maybe. But Mel Gibson’s three hour torturefest sure upped the ante. I still refuse to watch that because I don’t get off that way. And I’m an atheist who couldn’t care less about Jesus and his pain (mainly because he and his dad are the stuff of old fairy tales).
Moving along, we could drill down on the fact that Griffin debased the image of a powerful white man. That upsets other male American whites, which is interesting because they haven’t been traditional victims of violence since never. Conservatives love this guy Trump not so much for what he does, but what he represents. I don’t have the time nor the inclination to take you back in time to his first political stints as a racist birther and bring you to today. If you don’t know by now that Donald Trump is a racist and a sexist, you can go jump in a lake. But what I am saying is Donald is the face of white male resentment-again, if you are not aware of this phenomenon, just go someplace else already, the rest of us have lapped you.
Kathy sure knows it, and she got sick of it and reacted. She went mano a mano, or cabeza a cabeza with the violence. In conservative land, it’s OK for Ted Nugent to say he wants to stick a gun in Hillary Clinton’s mouth or call the first black president a mongrel, but oh no, this cunt faglover can’t say anything about our bold, unapologetic president.
So we come full circle to the $64,000 question-is it OK to punch the Nazi? Is left wing violence the same or worse than right wing violence?
Frankly, I don’t think it should be expected of the left to always respond to right wing nastiness with a turn of the cheek. They use our core values of tolerance and respect for all against us. They call us hypocrites if we dare step out of the pigeonhole they have put us in and get intolerant of their intolerance. And that shit cannot stand. I’m not going to be policed by bigots or told by them I am offensive. I will not be disarmed by ironic charges of saying one thing and doing another. I’m all for peace and love but I know how to use an M-16 if it comes down to revolution or civil war.
The fact is that the just gods are rooting for the left side. We are the heirs of American democracy, which was begat by white aristocrats but belongs to everyone. Yet still the work continues to fight for equality even after all of our victories along the way. Because occasionally, we Americans take a step backward and elect a George Bush or a Donald Trump, and it can be hard to simmer quietly while they shit the country up.
Ultimately, Kathy Griffin could not stand the heat in the kitchen. But I don’t blame her for backing down at all. It is, after all, goddamn hot and getting hotter. Has she coarsened the political conversation? Hardly. By any objective measure, the time for comity was long past before her photo shoot. Civility is not always an option when you’ve got white nationalists and Nazi sympathizers in the Oval Office whispering to a mercurial and unsophisticated president who got into office because he peddled low-com-denom demagoguery to other unsophisticated people.
Remember: they demand of you a level of decorum that they do not demand of themselves. With that in mind, the occasional head punch and other assorted “violent” reactions are perfectly rational tools of resistance.
UPDATE 1 Jun 2017: Big sister Alex K. hits the Facebook scene on this story 10 minutes before me. She offers more content and clarity about the shoot than I could muster.
Very few people come to see me, unless Tucker Carlson is being an asshole. Which, I suppose suits me just fine. I often write because I have to. Most people who have written, paid or unpaid, know how this feels. Especially when you also have a mental disorder that won’t allow you to let go of something when it makes your brain cry.
Facebook has fucked my shit up, as far as the writing gig goes. I spend more posting articles and composing one-liners about things that get caught in the filter than doing any kind of “work” that I can be proud of the first 20 times I read it back to myself. My output during the campaigns of ’16 was much higher than it is now. Hell, I used to sound off three times a day.
Now, the work comes slower. I poke my head up maybe once every two weeks. It takes several days to finish a post. That’s probably OK-at least I know when I am hitting a wall instead of heedlessly blasting through it like in the good old days of steadily losing my mind. Ideas need to age sometimes before they are ready. But it’s not good for a blog to sit quiet for two weeks, either. Constant output is the linchpin of a successful blog. But I have to be honest and know that that’s not what this is. This is a vanity project, even as I attempt to snag a few more eyeballs by uploading to Facebook. It’s for me, ultimately.
Alright. Enough of that, let’s talk about what is pissing me the fuck off today.
It’s really past time that we stopped believing that Donald Trump is an intelligent creature. I tried to tell you this a month ago. But it is still very fashionable, and I assume profitable, to opine that Donald Trump knows what he is doing.
Last night, Rachel Maddow got hold of the first page of his 2005 tax returns.
For something that no one is interested in, it sure made everyone perk the fuck up. It upset the White House enough that when they were asked to verify, they tried to get in front of the story by scooping Maddow, claiming vehemently that what she had was illegally obtained and illegal to publish and that she was desperate for ratings.
These three things are not true. Typical Trump bluster, no facts and petty insults. That’s what Donald Trump does. He’s been doing it ever since he discovered Twitter.
Now, what we all saw was in itself, well…not much. I think we all expected Rachel to be shaking up a martini while chortling over a giant pile of paper that was going to finally bring this White House crashing back to earth. What we saw instead was the front and back of an 11 year old return, which as all you taxpayers know, does not say a whole lot. Concretely speaking, it said Donald Trump paid his taxes in 2005, at the appropriate rates dictated by the AMT law.
The media discussion spun in two general ways after the leak:
- Donald Trump leaked them himself. He did that in order to divert attention from Russia, the wiretap frenzy and the healthcare bill (the investigative journalist who was given the documents admitted that Trump could be the leaker).
- The fact that these documents are in the press’ hands suggests there’s more that can be leaked and that the existence of the leak asks more questions than it answers. It rekindles the debate about why, if these numbers are so innocuous, is Donald Trump so desperate for no one to see them?
It is for those of you who believe in #1 that I write today.
Shut the fuck up.
Just stop slurping all over Donald Trump’s balls giving him credit for being clever. It’s embarrassing.
Have any of you noticed how he governs? He’s a total screwup. Everything he authors or endorses turns to shit. His own advisors and appointees are wondering what his damage is. The only reason Donald Trump is overturning regulations is because the president who he will ultimately be compared to authored them.
Perhaps you should consider his online presence. Donald Trump doesn’t know how to goddamned spell and may only have about 75 words in his vocabulary, the lion’s share of which are inappropriate superlatives and the word “sad” (but he’s “got a good brain”).
If he keeps up at this rate of um, “winning”, he will be what he and other Republicans so badly wanted Barack Obama to be- a failure.
We are not dealing with “crazy like a fox”. We are talking about “dumb like a mailbox post”.
I think what has happened here is that Maddow’s reveal was so superficial (in scope and content), it sent people running for a narrative because we ate some empty TV calories. The AV Club is half-right-this leak would have looked better on the internet than on an hour long show. I can see how tempting it is to search for someone or some entity that manipulated the currently red-hot Maddow into purportedly showing what a good citizen Donald Trump was in 2005. But again, that tale is a poor substitute for what the tax return reveal could not tell. The return ultimately generates yet more questions and I get that we want some damn answers-but we are burning the messenger. It may sound counterintuitive right now, but Maddow has shown that Trump’s hand can be forced-and that he is still highly vulnerable and cannot possibly keep the secrets he is trying so desperately to keep.
Even if I am shown to be wrong-that indeed it was the fabled cunning of the wily trickster Trump once again making us look away from what his hands are really doing-then it will be full scale war between the press and Donald Trump. There’s already insurrection as it is- a cheap stunt like the one some in the media are positing that so blatantly tries to discredit one of their own will be looked at as an attack on all of them, because no organization whose job is to tell the truth is going to truck for long with anyone that sleazy.
So when last we talked, I was relaying to you how gobsmacked I was and continue to be that we have elected ( I know we really didn’t, relax) the most terminally vain uncurious mercurial impish hyperprivileged puckerfaced whitebread tiny dicked fascistic jingo know nothing illiterate conspiracy loving con artist fraud huckster crybaby prick pervert whackadoodle media slut bunco dealer we could find.
Somebody clearly did not place limits on their child. Frederick Christ, I’m looking at you in hell, sir.
Everyone except Donald Trump seems to know that the wheels are coming off his bus. That’s not necessarily true, I guess, seeing as how the percentage of the popular vote Donald got roughly equals the percentage of approval he enjoys, or does not enjoy since he thinks that all numbers pertaining to him are fake, unless of course we’re talking about numbers that he pretends are his even though he’d been in office for a week when the tabulations were made. But I hear he is on a constant diet of Fox News, who is happy to massage Trump’s ego by showing tight camera shots of massive”pro-Trump” events while suggesting that protests against Trump are by violent anarchists and professional agitators paid to attend.
I have seen the comparisons of Trump to Hitler. And I guess I understand that. I’m reading “It Can’t Happen Here” at bedtime and Donald Trump is Buzz Windrip without the folksy charm, starring Steve Bannon as Lee Sarason and Mike Flynn as Dewey Haik-and the Republicans are more properly named as the “Corpos”. It’s troublesome that comparisons to these real and fictional fascists are to people whose rise to infamy presage horrible wars. Trump can start a shooting war whenever he chooses as long as he lets Congress know why he’s doing it in 48 hours. He’s used belligerent language toward China and Iran, most notably, and his favored dog whisperer thinks that a Sino-US war is inevitable.
I still think Donald Trump is more like Howard Hughes than Adolf Hitler. Guy’s fucking crazy, putting up gilded fucking drapes in the Oval Office and will probably screw himself out of this job by pissing off everybody in government, even his own Congress who can’t wait to get hold of his signature so they can destroy said government like they always say they will.
But I really can’t wait until Trump’s dealings with the Russians are exposed. I think that’s the most interesting thing that we need to see. Donald Trump has lied about his relationship with Putin, even going so far to pretend that he had never met the guy before the election amidst charges that the Russian government was responsible for the DNC hacks. He’s on record for complimenting the autocratic thug repeatedly.
If there’s one thing we know Donald Trump likes, it’s money. And I believe that Vladimir Putin, fellow oligarch, is making plans with him to divvy up the globe to enrich each other. During the Obama administration, we had lots of trouble with an adventurous Putin in Ukraine and Syria. He was an adversary, trying to break free from the cage NATO put around him. The Cold War never ended, really-Russia imploded in the 1990s and reemerged as an aggressive world power to be reckoned with under Putin. Like most “communist” nations, they reshaped themselves as capitalist dictatorships, using the State to enrich business interests and their whores in the government.
If that sounds familiar, it should, and it should bother you. But we can discuss that at length some other time. Maybe after I feel like digging up more examples showing what an asshole Tucker Carlson is. Don’t hold your breath, I am easily distracted.
Anyway, to make a long story short, Trump did an interview in his safe space with Bill O’Reilly. And if you think Don The Con has been um…unstable up to here, you missed this:
“President Donald Trump appeared to equate US actions with the authoritarian regime of Russian President Vladimir Putin in an interview released Saturday, saying, “There are a lot of killers. You think our country’s so innocent?”
Trump made the remark during an interview with Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, saying he respected his Russian counterpart.
“But he’s a killer,” O’Reilly said to Trump.
“There are a lot of killers. You think our country’s so innocent?” Trump replied.”
Now I’m not sure if Donald Trump knew what he was saying-he may have just sputtered that in a hasty defense because he got pushed in a corner. It caused a lot of people-like old military hand Barry McCaffrey-to perk up and lose their cool:
JACKSON: MSNBC military analyst and retired four-star general Barry Mccaffrey, who is joining us here. General Mccaffrey, thank you for being here. President Trump’s relationship with Vladimir Putin is really backing the headlines in a big
way. You heard what he said about Putin and Bill O’Reilly’s comments that Putin is a killer. How concerned are you about not just what the president is saying but the relationship that the U.S. Is going to have with Russia, where that’s going to go from here?
MCCAFFREY: Hallie, I’m actually incredulous that the president would make a statement like that. One could argue that’s the most anti-american statement ever made by the president of the United States, to confuse American values with Putin, who is running a criminal oligarchy, who kills people abroad and at home, who imprisons journalists and takes away business property, who shares it with his former K.G.B. Agents, who invades and seizes crimea in eastern Ukraine, this is an astonishing state of affairs. It’s hard to know what to think about it.
It’s halfway to crazy to be dismissive of the danger Vladimir Putin represents, and shrug about how his regime takes care of its dissidents. Trump says…so what? We are killers too.
I expect this kind of thing to come out of Ajamu Baraka’s mouth. I don’t expect it from a Republican. Was it candor? I didn’t really think that Donald Trump was capable of critical thought. Maybe he did read the briefings, and his loose lips opened under fire.
Whatever the case may be, Trump dropped a truth bomb.
We are not innocent-not even our best and brightest are beyond reproach. We have laid waste all across the globe as a nation since our inception and we have not let up since. In my war of conquest (and don’t let anyone tell you it wasn’t one), it is estimated that we killed almost 200,000 civilians and incinerated entire towns that were unfortunate enough to harbor our enemies. God only knows how many we maimed. You can feel free to hit the history books anytime you like and string together our atrocities, or let someone like Noam Chomsky contextualize and enumerate them. Hell, read Howard Zinn to find out how we spread destruction and death and penury and torture in our own country.
I’m sorry to say-perhaps not sorry, perhaps a bit relieved in a way, that Trump got something objectively correct. But it won’t change my general opinion that he is still an insane clown. It won’t wake anyone up that needs waking. It won’t make me take to the streets and break some car windows of my own. I’m a coward (so far) when it comes to certain forms of direct action. The worst thing that will happen is that people get inured to the idea that we can tolerate and horse trade with someone who acts like Vladimir Putin does when it comes to attaining his objectives. Then again, we don’t pay much mind to the criminal regimes around the world that we support already because it’s in our “strategic interests”(read: whatever perpetuates our super-hegemony). There are already people on the right wing who think that cracking skulls and maybe even some killing right here in America are spiffy ways to manage dissent. So we would do well to be extra wary of Donald Trump and the people he runs with. He may know just enough to be dangerous, as they say. The seeds of tyranny, well sown in our history, are beginning to germinate, and the world could be in grave danger with the two most powerful oligarchs in the world getting ready to carve it up for themselves and their business associates if we let them.