Author Archives: The Head Seminarian

This Isn’t Lucha Libre

Take off your mask. I don’t want to break more bad news to you but if your fellow man is not protecting you, you are doing nothing to slow the spread of the virus. It’s everywhere. It is too late to stop this thing.

Let’s clear things up for those in the back who haven’t heard: masking, nor vaccinating, will save you from catching SARS-COVID-19. It’s already evolved past the bivalent vaccine in the North, and it’s only a matter of time before it becomes a problem everywhere. Blame people all you want for not masking in public and spreading this sucker, but it’s already in your home somewhere, even if you think you have found a klatch that is “safe”. Stop fucking fooling yourself and learn some science about the vaccine. It’s all out there, you just have to fucking read about it. Literally go to the CDC first for advice.

The good news is it’s not an assassin like Delta. Omicron and its subvariants are waiting for us to slip up, and when we do decode the latest spike proteins on this very clever virus, we will issue a fifth vaccine (I’ve already heard about people who have actually had a fifth shot) and then you’re going to see a lot of people whining that “vaccines don’t work” and that there is no point to it.

That is untrue. You are merely giving yourself a better chance of not getting it than the thoughtless guy in front of you in line who won’t take a shot. We will have to get a shot at more regular intervals if we lose control of information on the trajectory of competing subvariants. I believe we have a winner, and so you’ll just have to get your FREE shot from the government or your insurance if you would like as much chance of it missing you as possible. There’s no reason to die from this bug unless you are immunocompromised or otherwise infirm, and those of you who have been keeping up with your vaccines have probably already gotten COVID but did not notice because carriers can be asymptomatic. You may have been short of breath a few months ago and didn’t know why. You did the right thing. You vaccinated, and your body eventually got serious with the virus and punched it in its little barely-living face. You saved a hospital bed for someone more vulnerable.

You may catch it again soon. Do not worry. Again, you have done the right thing for yourself, which is all you can do in a pandemic. But trying to protect others? Very polite, but too late. You will never leave the house if you let bad logic go too far.

Wandering

I’m putting the throttle on, and working up to being calmer. It’s hard when you are so sick.

My wandering has led me somehow into the guts of the Georgia Democratic Party, and I can hardly believe I’m doing some social media for 19 counties.

It’s strange, getting noticed. I’ve always considered myself nobody special. Heaven knows I’ve been told by assholes that I am not. Yet, some people I know and have known like me better than I thought.

This is odd. I can’t process it, because I am in it now. From here, I have no idea where I am going to take my id and subsume it into some superegoistic organism like a political party. I have a lady boss, and we’re going to talk over my spartan quesadilla, hold the creamy shit and sub exttra salsa, and do a bit of day drinking today when I meet her in person for the first time. Every thing I have written here in this small space has been really, really honest and I also had no idea that all I was doing was reacting to…everything. Even at my sickest, I told the truth here.

So, that’s what my boss wants. Reaction. OK, I can do that. The trick will be to convince people that there is action to be taken.

I shall not capitalize my words here anymore….oll-korrect being the exception since nobody fucking speaks their own language very well. Nobody punctuates anymore, nobody can tell the difference between a metaphor and a true statement. I omit entire articles when I type sometimes. Thanks to social media, texting on tiny devices and the mind-twisting Twitter, you are now challenged to get your thoughts in quickly and some of us forget what an apostrophe is. I guess it’s OK, grade school was a long time ago and we were all too hyperactive to learn and no one knew how to calm us down because they stopped hitting us.

I am pleased by this evolution, but some of you need a nun with a pointer. Christian discipline seems to be the only thing that has worked for the West, and we know how I feel about discipline and Christianity and I will accept neither without cause. It doesn’t matter though; all our masters have done is discipline us with the pursuit of survival and we have great alacrity now in telling our fellow man to go fuck himself.

Pure fucking comedy, if it wasn’t such a deadly game to play.

Now you go play, kids. I have some of my own playing to do.

I Just Don’t Care About This Holiday

To be perfectly honest, most of them have lost their lustre as I enter my 50s. Everyone acknowledges that they made it through another year of challenges and talk about what they want to do that’s “new”.

Why are we doing this stupid ritual? It’s a mark on a lunar calendar. The solstice is already in the bag and we are going to get closer to the sun. What kind of pagan shit is this? It’s twenty fucking twenty-three. We’re not going to crash into it yet or be cut adrift from it. No mature human save for the religious should be making a huge deal about the planet moving, and no one at all should be connecting it with some kind of personal renewal, much in the same way we only have Christmas as the impetus to be giving. I thought by now we would have been done with this kind of New Age crap, but I guess it’s still the New Age and I will just have to get used to the idea that many of us are still participating in some small way in this flaky shit without the drugs and cults and fucking. Some fun this is. I guess it’s just been that way and there is no point in resisting.

Yes. We are all getting older and a year closer to dying. The planet didn’t get hit by an asteroid. Maybe we didn’t catch a possibly fatal disease that has killed millions. For some reason, celebration of these things seems strange. But, I suppose when times are troubled, this is just normal human behavior. Being missed by Death is something we fixate on as the only animal on earth that knows very well it is going to not be alive someday and that really gets into our high functioning, neurotic monkey brains and causes us to hope for more life, more and more of goddamned life, which can be much, much worse than death for the brave and the afflicted. How greedy of us, those who are intact and pain-free.

I guess it comes down to another old-timey belief, that of being lucky. I suppose our dipshit European ancestors brought that idiocy with them to land that was not New at all. To the people we killed and subjugated to live here, New wasn’t even a thing, I think. Time wasn’t worth much to Native Americans, although that may be too much a blanket statement given how many tribes were here and I suppose their beliefs were manifold. But I guess when your life is fraught with danger, on a ship whose destination the sailor isn’t quite sure of, these are things you believe in. When you make land before lack of food and potable water and disease wipe you out, it’s not surprising that each succession of European immigrants fell to their knees when we got off the boat and thanked whatever the fuck they thought helped them make it.

Lucky is horseshit-chance, however, is not. No one is watching over us. Sorry to burst your bubble.

When you get right down to it, anything can happen, which sounds like I’m scraping up against a version of Murphy’s Law without the fatalism. And perhaps that’s why we gird ourselves for the next 365 day long block of time in our lives by overlaying hopes and goals over the fact that we are alone, unless we have people who love us. We want order, because the chaos makes us want to throw up. If there is any god or goddess, it is Eris-our lady of perpetual confusion. She’s the closest I will ever come to acknowledging the supernatural-her fingerprints are all over this place, whatever it is, after all. Only on Earth does the universe look like there’s a purpose to it. You don’t have to look far to know that is simply not true. Look at your own life. That shit is fucked the fuck up.

In closing, roll with the punches, don’t think too much about oblivion, go crazy if you need to, I guess. I do not generally recommend it, because it’s a bitch to get it under control once you have lost said control. I won’t advise you, it’s a bad idea to listen to a sick person about sanity. The apple is yours. Don’t get a big head about it. It’s above your station to think of how favored you are too much.

The Continuing Adventures Of Tits McGee

Nevada’s gun totin’, bra-bustin’ Michele Fiore seems to have a desperate need to be in office. She’s always running for something, and usually losing. But thanks to the fact that judgeship elections have little to no public scrutiny, Utah has decided to give Michele the title of Justice of The Peace in some podunk county seat called Pahrump.

Michele hasn’t got a law degree. And beat out seventeen other candidates, most likely much more qualified to sit. There is no requirement for the Justice Of The Peace to have a law degree in Nye County. But Michelle is promising to go to school to get one.

I just have this feeling she isn’t the studying kind. But I could be wrong.

Typically, the Justice Of The Peace has only a handful of duties, adjudicating small claims, dealing with minor infractions, perform marriages, and they can authorize arrests. But can someone with no legal background decide on even these small things? Even a paralegal could do a better job than someone known in politics for her boobs and her gun collection.

Now I know I said that Pahrump was podunk. Well, yes it is, but not by Nevada standards.The county boasts a population of a little over 50,000, and is the largest county in the state. Even my podunk county (not so much a podunk county but a place for middle class whites to flee the suburbs at reasonable prices), Columbia County, Georgia has 160,000 in it. So Michelle will be busy making decisions that change peoples’ lives with nothing but her pretty little head, which has led her to do some really dumb things in the past, as evidenced by the link above.

What was it, County Commissioners? Did you all get a rise out of what she was wearing? Did she have a portfolio of her best poses with guns? Whatever it was, I’m sure you could have done better.

Taking A Ban Over Dumb Shit On Facebook

I suppose I am a bit freewheeling on social media. I never think anything I post is of such an offensive nature such that I should catch a restriction. But I’m on my second strike at Facebook over some bullshit.

The first one was an honest mistake. Like many people, I like to share music on my page and in groups. One day, I was inspired to post some Pixies from Surfer Rosa. It did NOT occur to me at all to be mindful of the cover:

Those teeny tiny tits got IMMEDIATELY noticed and bam, I was in content moderation for weeks in the group I posted it in. I ended up leaving the group because I had to say pretty please to the admin to approve my content thereafter.

I hope WordPress is a little more forgiving and is not considering this pornography. I certainly don’t. That’s more in the realm of art.

Anyway, time passes and I’m still my usual self, cussing and tussling and no one really giving a damn. Then a friend posted a picture of some mosque in Iran:

My simple answer was, “This makes me crave psychedelics”.

That comment sat there a whole week before it got deleted and I caught a ban for posting it. Reason given? That I was violating their standards on the exchange of illicit drugs. That is not what I said at all. I merely said it would be cool to trip my shit in that place. Looking further into Facebook’s community standards, you are not allowed to post anything about illegal substances unless you are seeking help to get treatment for using them.

By the time I had found that last part out, I had already disagreed with their decision. I did not do any of the things I was originally told I was being restricted for. So I was incommunicado for about 24 hours on Facebook.

Here’s what really rubs me the wrong way about Facebook’s community standards. Go try clicking on an ad for CBD sometime. It will not be long before your ad feed is inundated with legal ways to get high. Delta-8. HHC. Links to ibogaine treatment. Suggestions that you should microdose legal mushrooms (microdose being a word that only people who have toyed with drugs would know). And now they’re advertising Delta-9, which, while derived from hemp, is the exact psychoactive substance found in marijuana buds. And many of these ads say you can get a good “high” from them. They even sell books that they explicitly say you should use while you are high, and t-shirts that glorify drugs.

What I am saying, is that Facebook has a total double standard when it comes to getting altered. I can’t say anything, no matter how vague, about a drug that is illegal (which I really didn’t do). But they are free to market to you all sorts of ways to get fucked up that don’t break the law and they heavily promote their use.

I mean yes, I get it-no company wants the DEA to breathe down their neck. But I still don’t think what I said should have gotten me a ban. I don’t know what overzealous geek took notice of that after it had been there for several days, but I think it was an misapplication of the community standards, especially when the damn community hypocritically endorses getting wasted within legal bounds.

Do Not Tell Me To Fucking Smile Unless You Have Entertained Me First

Real quick one.

I can no longer tolerate people who come out of the gate telling me to “SMILE!”

Fuck off. Tell me a joke if you want to see my teeth.

I have been dealing with this for a very long time. I’m just not the fucking smiley type for no goddamn reason. But it does NOT mean that I am unhappy, angry, or in a bad mood.

I happen to have a mood disorder, as some of you know. And I run high almost all of the time. Which probably means I am in a better mood than any person who comes along telling me to “SMILE!”. I am irreverent, always on, only serious when necessary. That is my default setting. I don’t need to use my teeth to be full of fucking mirth. That’s because I can talk and know how to use sarcasm and point out irony and am not afraid to cross a polite boundary. I’m laughing at most of you all of the time on the inside, if you want to know the truth. Really, the only difference between us is that I am an idiot, and you are all grinning idiots. You look crazier than I do, and that’s saying something.

So please, do not tell me what to do with my face. It borders on rudeness.

How would you like it if I told you loudly to “FROWN!”?

It would probably startle you as much as it startles me when you yell “SMILE!”.

I Thought Jesus Wasn’t Into Moneychangers

So after getting her ass soundly beat by Raphael Warnock, Georgia’s Mrs. Moneybags Kelly Loeffler went into the banking business.

With a fun twist! It was a Christian bank.

I regret to inform you that this endeavor was a failure. She couldn’t find the funding to keep it afloat.

It even had a great name, if you’re an idiot: GloriFi.

Loeffler’s plan was to have an “anti-woke” bank (whatever that fucking means anymore) that held values near and dear to her (which is highly unlikely, Loeffler is just looking for suckers to get richer off of)-“pro-America values such as capitalism, family, law enforcement and the freedom to ‘celebrate your love of God and country.”

That doesn’t sound authoritarian at all, but I suppose no harm can be done getting your fascism on while you are filling out a deposit slip.

Whether she believes in it or not is immaterial-that there are many people who believe in and are clamoring for these so-called “American values” is worrisome enough. But I guess perhaps not too worrisome, seeing as how a grifter like Loeffler couldn’t gather enough rubes to open a zero interest checking account in her bank.

Could We Just Not Do This?

As I expected, the explanations on why the polls were wrong have already begun. As of this writing, the GOP has 217 confirmed House wins. I will just guess, given that there are still several races too close to call, that they will control.

That means the polls were right.

The polls were right about the Senate staying in Democratic hands. The polls were right about new governorships for us. The polls predicted we barely had/have a Chinaman’s chance at holding the House.

One can say that in a sense they were off, because of the margins they were suggesting that the GOP would win the House by were fairly high (though again, we do not know that yet).

But that still means they have probably called the winning party in each category-and ergo, all these amateur pollsters running around on social media who said the Democrats were going to win were even wronger even if their numbers were closer.

I like Seth Abramson, but this is kind of what you’ll be seeing as this week drags on:

Let me take this moment to say how much I loathe the term “narrative”. It is a Republican paranoid nonsense word, and lefties need to stop using it. But fuck it, let’s run with it-why did they drive this narrative…that is pretty much the question Abramson wants answered.

You won’t like some of the dumb armchair psychology being used to explain it. I’m too lazy to find you some examples( I promise I have seen plenty), but trust me when I say that, if I may, the “narrative” is that the pollsters, in collusion with the GOP, wanted to drive down turnout and discourage Democrats from bothering to vote.

I am hoping you realize how stupid that sounds. You may not. You may be stupid, stubborn, or conspiracy-minded, take your pick.

If anything, that will generally make your average Democratic voter more determined than ever to show up and show out. We hear we are on the wrong end of a battle, we wake up and do shit. I don’t know who is profiling us as gloomy mopers who give up the minute they hear about troop strength on the other side, but this is a bullshit “insight” into the Democratic mindset.

And us showing up was exactly what the fuck happened. So indeed, if there was any plan to depress turnout in the manner Abramson is suggesting, it backfired wildly and was a really dumb plan. We fucking took it to them on Election Day. We were never not going to, regardless of what the polls and the media were saying. Democratic voters had the signal and weren’t listening to the noise. We saw the Christian fascism coming over the hill and we said NO. Maybe he’s referring to a possible attempt to shape independent minds, but that is a fool’s game because independents are stupid and you never know what they are going to do no matter what feedbag they choose.

Stop listening to the polls, you say? Stop listening to the people who say stop listening to the polls. More data is better than less, and if you really need to drill down on a poll because its numbers seem hard to believe, the methodology is out there.

2022: The Year America Voted Against Christian Fascism

I really thought we were going to take the plunge. Didn’t you?

Polling got scary as fuck there in the run-up. The fascists were out speaking confidently about their fascist plans. They thought that was what America wanted and needed.

Enough people saw the danger and strangled the movement in its crib. This midterm has been very odd in that the majority party basically stayed one, and in fact we could still hold both bodies. We don’t yet know who will really control the House at this point, but if we Democrats do win it will have been a bit too close for comfort. As of today, there have been seven net pickups by Republicans-enough to narrowly change the balance of power if all races hold. Other than that we have matched them flip for flip. That’s not optimum at all, but if we lose it is not easy for Republicans to claim some sort of conservative “mandate”, and we should be thankful and pat ourselves on the back that new voting laws across America did not stop us from coming out in force to make sure the fundamental nature of America, that of a democracy, was preserved.

So I’m glad I can now have a somewhat sunnier disposition for now and say we aren’t going down the crapper completely…just yet. We still have a rogue SCOTUS shredding precedent that isn’t originalist in nature, and of course we will have to see what kind of effect a Trump run does to 2024 and see if fascism with the proper “strongman” leading it will raise its ugly head once more. We also have to think about who will be taking on whomever the GOP selects-Biden has said he will likely run again, but if he doesn’t Jaime Harrison better think fast as to who is best positioned to put the Trump phenom in the shallow grave it belongs in. Even then we will still probably have to contend with Ron DeSantis, who is also a fascist but may put a more genial facade on the movement.

For now, I cannot exhale fully until the votes are counted and we know who will control the House. But nevertheless, democracy had a hell of a showing even if we come up a little short.

Hate To Say They Told You So

On Wednesday, I mounted a minor defense of the polling industry. I did so because I looked around and found them wanting, but I have to say, I found unprofessional people with hunches even wronger.

As the number of R-flipped seats in the House continues to climb, we are approaching poll prediction territory. It is still not anywhere near a rout, but once all is said and done there will probably be enough for that dipshit McCarthy to claim a mandate.

Disbelieving polls to me is like disbelieving in science; once you stop listening, you are doing nothing but alchemy and falling back on faith when you predict. Every skeptically minded person should watch, listen and let the professionals do their work. People on social media keep screaming in caps “STOP LISTENING TO THE POLLS!!!!” not because they are wrong, but because they are not being told what they want to hear. Thoughtless people completely forget things like margins of error-that’s a pollster’s admission that based on their sample size, there’s a good chance of wobble one way or another.

I have a short, simple message as we wrap up the counts for people to consider next time we do this.

Follow the polls with a watchful, curious mind-also, follow the news and consider what that might do to the numbers. Understand that there is a strange mushy middle that breaks one way or the other the day of the election. But do not get into the forecasting business unless you have the requisite credentials to do so. I’m just telling you for you own good, and hopefully your friends will forget the dumb uninformed calls you made and not wonder what else you might be wrong about.

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