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From The “I Don’t Really Want To Be President” Files

I’m just gonna let this one sink in:

“Stuff happens,” said Jeb Bush Friday, in response to this week’s shooting at an Oregon community college that left nine deceased victims and 10 injured.

Speaking at a campaign event in Greenville, South Carolina, the Republican presidential candidate said, “Look, stuff happens. There’s always a crisis. And the impulse is always to do something, and it’s not necessarily the right thing to do.”

 I think that one of your jobs as President is to fucking do something, or at least weigh in on a crisis. It is time to act. Let me direct you here, since our dumbass above doesn’t understand what a bully pulpit truly is. Here’s how you do reality. Fix the motherfucking Second:

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms when serving in the Militia shall not be infringed.”

Redundant, but might be good for the cure for what is clearly ailing us. I mean, we are way past the need for “the militia” anyway. That is what this neat thing called “The Army” or even “The National Guard” is for.


Knuckle-draggers should love this chum from Jeb Bush:

In an interview with the Union Leader, aspiring 2016 Republican presidential nominee Jeb Bush took a slap at the foreign policies of President Barack Obama, stating that the leader of the  free world uses too many big words and wastes his time at conferences with world leaders instead of forging ahead.

In video captured by C-SPAN, Bush criticized the White House’s nuclear negotiations with Iran calling it, “the Clinton-Kerry-Obama foreign policy playing out.”

“You don’t have to be the world’s policemen, but you have to be the world’s leader and there’s a huge difference,” Bush explained. “This guy — this president and Secretary Clinton and Secretary Kerry – when someone disagrees with their nuanced approach where it’s all kind of so sophisticated it makes no sense. You know what I’m saying?”

Bush continued, “Big syllable words and lots of fancy conferences and meetings and – We’re not leading. That creates chaos. It creates a more dangerous world. So restoring the alliances that have kept the world safer and our country safer – getting back to a position in the Middle East where there’s no light between Israel and the United States.”

You have to be the world’s leader. Who says, Jeb? There’s a lot of people on this blue ball who wish we could go away. And what could one possibly have against a comprehensive and complex understanding of today’s challenges? It’s that bad a thing to be smart? And fuck you muchly for using the “this president” line, I think we know what you want to say when you say that. And I’ll be damned if I could tell you how a relationship with one of the most controversial countries in the world could be considered one that makes us safer. In point of fact, our relationship with Israel has pissed off 1/5 of the globe, so I don’t know what the fuck Bush is talking about here.

I expect this kind of stupidity from Scott Walker. But I guess I am going to have to lower my expectations for Bush even further. Down, down the rabbit hole we go.

Squaring The Circle

The “smart” Bush really knows how to toss a great word salad. Jeb is not going to be Jeb! much longer if he keeps it up. He tries to say the right thing, but no one on the lunatic right wants what he’s selling. So the poor guy has to use some boilerplate doublespeak to keep the lizard people satisfied:

Republican presidential hopeful Jeb Bush on Thursday weighed in on the hot-button issue of the week: whether Kentucky court clerk Kim Davis ought to be entitled – based on her religious beliefs – to defy a federal court order mandating that she issue marriage licenses to gay couples.

“[Davis] is sworn to uphold the law and it seems to me there ought to be common ground, there ought to be big enough space for her to act on her conscience and for, now that the law is the law of the land, for a gay couple to be married in whatever jurisdiction that is,” Bush said to supporters at a town hall event in Laconia, New Hampshire.

Huh? Are you having trouble understanding that? But I see what Bush is up to. He thinks he can stay on the fence when it comes to Kim Crazypants. Sorry, Jeb; there are only two sides to this argument- either you support this martyr or you chuck her under the bus. There is no space for her religious beliefs when she’s doing her job(or not). And there is no “common ground” to be found here-she follows the law or she gets prosecuted(quite different from the “persecution” she thinks she is experiencing).

Bush wants to have it both ways. He’s a coward, punting on a serious subject.


Gotcha, Motherfucker

I’ve been looking for this to hit the net, because it set my hair on fire when I heard him say it on TV. A student asked him if he favors stricter gun control because everybody is shooting themselves and other people. His response:

“I uh, don’t think this is a national…(mumbles)…the, the federal government should not be involved in gun laws.”

I am sick to death of these people evading questions by using the tired-ass trope of “state’s rights”. I’ve said it many times-I will repeat it because it bears repeating. These assholes don’t really believe in the Constitution. What they’d like to go back to is the Articles Of Confederation where states ran nilly-willy with their own money, their own militia, etc. The Constitution was created in part to extend the reach of the federal government and reign those motherfuckers in.

Gun control is a de jure federal issue because the right to carry a fucking gun happens to reside in the Bill Of Rights, which established our framework of government. It is most certainly within the purview of Congress to pass laws restricting what weapons you can use if you are allowed to own them.

We’re stuck between Scylla and Charybdis. We can’t just let gun owners go crazy out there, and we can’t outlaw guns. But we have a few ideas, like registration and insurance. Stiff penalties for straw purchasers. There’s ways we can regulate the militia.

Bush is an idiot, as per usual. He can’t say something sensible because his campaign is hanging by a thread right now. Several candidates are punting on the really tough issues, and the press are covering them like stink on shit. He’s fucked either way he answers, because all the Republicans need to court the neanderthal wing of the party, the wing that really does want to go back to the 18th century, warts and all. Expecting reasonability from the GOP is going to be a long fucking haul, and I think that the mushy middle will judge them incompetent and facile when the silly season is over and the real campaign starts.

Laugh Of The Day

I’m having a real hard time figuring out who the stupidest fucking Republican running for president is. So far, Scott Walker wins most slow-witted and Ben Carson takes the prize for ignorant asshole, but Jeb Bush is just plain embarrassing in two languages:

GOP presidential hopeful Jeb Bush claimed on Monday that his use of the term “anchor babies” was not offensive because he was referring to the practice of people, primarily Asians, coming to the U.S. and “taking advantage” of birthright citizenship.

“What I was talking about was the specific case of fraud being committed, where there’s organized efforts, and frankly it’s more related to Asian people coming into our country having children in that organized effort, taking advantage of a noble concept, which is birthright citizenship,” he said. 


Who is this motherfucker trying to kid, anyway?

Head Of States

Recently, it became illegal for federal agencies to discriminate against LGBT folk in the workplace. That’s great. But what we really need is legislation that prohibits it everywhere. I keep saying it, but we need Title II of the Civil Rights Act to protect people from discrimination in the public as a whole. It belongs along with

Title II of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits discrimination because of race, color, religion, or national origin in certain places of public accommodation, such as hotels, restaurants, and places of entertainment.

There is no reason whatsoever to ignore this critical oversight. The time is well past to stop the animosity toward gay people.

It is manifestly obvious by now that Jeb Bush is a schlemiel. He’s as stupid as his brother, and has no chance whatsoever of being president. But who else do the Republicans have? Donald Trump? Bah. Scott Walker? Snore. It’s over as far as I’m concerned, and I think deep down every Republican knows it. Anyway, here’s Bush flailing around on the discrimination question:

Bush was asked by a gay employee at a San Francisco tech startup he visited on Thursday about his position on legislation to prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, Time reported. Bush responded by denouncing discrimination in general, but also diminishing the need for legal protections and saying they should be only enacted at the state level.

Pressed on whether he would back new legislation to address the fact that 28 states lack laws protecting against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and 31 lack laws protecting against discrimination on the basis of gender identity and expression, Bush suggested that this issue should not be a federal one. “I think this should be done state-by-state, I totally agree with that,” the former governor responded.

The old state’s rights gambit. So depressing. As I have said before, this is a dick’s way out of being put in a moral quandary. What about basic rights should be left to the caprice of a state legislature? Why not just say, “y’all can be motherless fucks if you like. That’s your right. Don’t bother me none”.

That’s what I call leadership.

Foot In Mouth Disease

Elitist piece of dogfuck Jeb Bush says we’re not slaving hard enough:

My aspiration for the country and I believe we can achieve it, is 4 percent growth as far as the eye can see. Which means we have to be a lot more productive, workforce participation has to rise from its all-time modern lows. It means that people need to work longer hours and, through their productivity, gain more income for their families. That’s the only way we’re going to get out of this rut that we’re in.”

This election is over. If the Republican frontrunner actually says people are not working hard enough to jazz up the economy, they are truly and completely fucked.

Americans responded to a Gallup poll that they average 47 hours per week on their full-time jobs. Out of those respondents, only 8 percent said they worked less than 40 hours per week, 42 percent reported working 40 hours per week, 11 percent fell into the 41-49 hour work week, 21 percent stated they gave their employers 50-59 hours in a week, and a surprising 18 percent were dedicated to a 60 or more hour work week.

Out of touch, tone-deaf, doomed. This couldn’t be simpler.

UPDATE: Jebby clarifies:

“If we’re going to grow the economy people need to stop being part-time workers, they need to be having access to greater opportunities to work,” Bush said, according to The Washington Post. “You can take it out of context all you want, but high-sustained growth means that people work 40 hours rather than 30 hours and that by our success, they have money, disposable income for their families to decide how they want to spend it rather than getting in line and being dependent on government.”

Most part-timers would like to go full but their employers can’t/won’t invest the capital. So this seems like a business problem, not a people problem. In any event, in trying to clarify those remarks, he yet again blamed people for the stagnation. What the fuck should we expect from a Bush? This is the moderate? The RINO? My ass.


Jeb Bush Is A Ghoul

I realize this is from 1995, but shouldn’t Jeb Bush answer for this snippet of foul slime that oozed out of his word processor?

Public shaming would be an effective way to regulate the “irresponsible behavior” of unwed mothers, misbehaving teenagers and welfare recipients, former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush (R) argued in his 1995 book Profiles in Character.

In a chapter called “The Restoration of Shame,” the likely 2016 presidential candidate made the case that restoring the art of public humiliation could help prevent pregnancies “out of wedlock.”

One of the reasons more young women are giving birth out of wedlock and more young men are walking away from their paternal obligations is that there is no longer a stigma attached to this behavior, no reason to feel shame. Many of these young women and young men look around and see their friends engaged in the same irresponsible conduct. Their parents and neighbors have become ineffective at attaching some sense of ridicule to this behavior. There was a time when neighbors and communities would frown on out of wedlock births and when public condemnation was enough of a stimulus for one to be careful.

“Name ’em and shame ’em”. That’s George Bush’s prescription for single parentage.

You can think on that for a minute. Because there’s more.

Finished? OK. Now here’s where you might want to read on an empty stomach so you can dry heave instead of lose your lunch. He continues:

Bush points to Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 1850 novel The Scarlet Letter, in which the main character is forced to wear a large red “A” for “adulterer” on her clothes to punish her for having an extramarital affair that produced a child, as an early model for his worldview. “Infamous shotgun weddings and Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Scarlet Letter are reminders that public condemnation of irresponsible sexual behavior has strong historical roots,” Bush wrote.

We liberals like to snark that the Republicans would like to take us back to 1950. Nope, try one hundred years more. Jeb Bush missed the whole point of The Scarlet Letter, because he probably never read it. The shunning of Hester Prynne was a bad thing, you asshole. I never finished it and even I can tell you that it was a tragedy, not a fucking handy guidepost to guard against wanton behavior. Somewhere, Hawthorne’s ghost is fuming, possibly crying a little.

The Crystal Ball Darkens

I’m starting to wonder if money magnet Jeb has what it takes to be a nominee. The campaign is about to be strangled in its crib. Not only is he a blithering idiot, his candidacy may be illegal. I have assumed up until recently that there would be a Serious Choice, perhaps incorrectly. That choice is nowhere in sight. This could be the funniest and most lopsided election we’ve had since the Dukakis flameout.

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