I’ve been shying away from the impeachment hearings, as I believe that there’s not much chance that Republicans are going to actually listen to the facts brought forth and weigh in on the merits to the case of a quid pro quo by President Trump to gain uncomfortable information on who he thought would be his rival in the 2020 showdown.
That was a mistake on my part. These hearings are fascinating.
Comparison to Watergate is inevitable, but perhaps in-congruent. Nixon and Trump, true, were/are both raging paranoiacs who used cheap and dirty tactics to discredit their opponents. Nixon, smarting from the release of The Pentagon Papers, tried to defame Daniel Ellsberg as some sort of kook. When there was no more daylight between him and the burglary, he quit because he had no friends left, except maybe Kissinger.
I currently think that Trump will eventually resign as well but he’s proven to be a lot slipperier that Nixon. He’s sealed off what’s left of his inner circle from the impeachment inquiry, as if they had all signed an NDA- the OLC is currently providing legal cover for them to decline a subpoena just by being in the employ of the president, a notion that is challengeable in court I imagine. He’s got GOP rank and file ready to fall on swords throughout Congress. Tens of millions of people still say Trump or bust.
If you were there, might I ask- was the entire right side of the aisle riding Nixon’s jock until the dots couldn’t be ignored? Did Nixon habitually lie to confuse people? Was there something like Fox News operating as a cheering section for the troubled president? It’s just crazy. This has got to be worse than Watergate. During these hearings, witnesses have testified to Democrats what they knew about Trump’s missiles-for-dirt pressure campaign upon Ukraine’s President Zelensky. Then the complicit Republicans fulminate for their time, trying to cook up a reverse narrative, that it was Trump trying to root out corruption in the new government, corruption that may have involved the son of the man he thought would be most likely to oppose him in the general. I figure they were going to wait til later to throw that grenade, but circumstances demand that they throw it now because otherwise it’s all Democrats all day building a case so what they have tried to do is use their five minutes to lie and spout calumny about the nature of the inquiry and those testifying against Emperor Zero and then Hannity and Fox and Friends take the ball from there, snipping it all up making it look like Republicans had carried the day.
That couldn’t be further from the truth, though. I finally sat down to watch some testimony today, and boy, did I pick a hell of a day. The erudite and now famous Dr. Fiona Hill came to speak, and she did not come to jack around. She recalled incredible amounts of information that did real damage to the Trump claim that he was not trying to play fuck-fuck with a new Ukrainian government. Adam Schiff has been squeezing the tube from the bottom, just like he should, setting up grander questions for bigger fish thus calling for an undeniable need for Trumpists in positions of power to spit out what they know under oath. That would be game, set and match, the conditions under which I believe Trump would take a powder rather than get removed.
The hearings were amazing today, and everyone should avail themselves of all of the testimony given so far. It’s quite riveting if you ignore all the idiotic, whiny GOP noise masquerading as cross examining (none of them, save counsel, had questions) that is no doubt being digested as I write this by easily conned Fox viewers.
Two things stood out for me today that bear note. Here’s Fiona Hill patiently and succinctly warning everyone about the intent of Trumpublicans to counterspin the Trump/Zelensky fiasco as if the Ukraine were attacking our elections, and she doesn’t mince words about where that notion came from.
You’re all Putin’s bitches.
Also, Eric Swallwell sent Devin Nunes a little chin music, disclosing that he has ties with the Giuliani goons who almost fled prosecution.
If you are free from the singsong of the right wing Wurlitzer and actually watched the proceedings, you clapped in your living room several times today even though no one else was there. Then you thanked god as you came to know him that there’s still some fucking professionals left in the government to expose a pissant president and his eagerness to sell this country out to Russia to personally enrich himself in any way he can.
Trumpers recoil reflexively in disgust when you tell them that President Trump is a racist. They often want proof on the spot, even though proof would find them to be racist as well. Anything except Trump declaring full-throatedly, ‘Yes folks, I’m a racist!!!’ will fall short in an attempt to convince them. Even then there would be arguments about context.
You can point to his anti-immigrant policies, the attempt to construct a border wall, the Muslim travel ban, or the refusal to help Puerto Rico recover from a highly destructive hurricane as tangible evidence that he doesn’t like brown people a whole lot. Some of them don’t vote and if they did, it would not be for him. So being racist/white supremacist (pick your label) works for Trump because minorities don’t merit a “deal” in his mind. Not that it has to directly do with racism, but simply as an example of how small-minded and vindictive he can be-California is currently on fire and I submit that because it is such a blue state, he’s ignoring it because its citizens- again, don’t do anything for him.
But lately, he’s promoting racism in such a manner that it deserves more scrutiny. It’s Native American Heritage Month. Did you know that? I did not know that, being white and all until the president renamed it “National American History and Founders Month”. It’s probably not an accident that Twitler put Andrew Jackson on the wall of the Oval Office, a giant fuck you to the people who lived here before we stuffed them in
giant concentration camps reservations.
Yesterday at a rally, Trump made it crystal clear, though. The motherfucker flashed the “white power” hand gesture. He couldn’t help his bloated transgressive self. There’s a mini-mythology about this gesture. Instances where the sign is flashed in conservative spaces are considered an inside joke. They insist it is meaningless, a hoax that they have perpetrated to own the libs who get triggered over anything. I still don’t quite get the joke, which is fine because conservatives are bad at funny and evidently lousy at irony as well.
It just so happens that the people who think this is humorous are usually pretty damn racist. When the sign is flashed, make no mistake-it’s a coded dog-whistle between themselves and other racists. They’re only fooling themselves if they think otherwise. The hoax has turned into something quite real. Here’s our president, soon to be impeached, letting everyone know who and what he is and not giving a shit:
As Trump’s base of support hemorrhages, he will have to directly appeal to smaller and smaller niches, and I guess white supremacists- many of whom do not know they are racists- are numerous enough that flashing that “joke” white power sign is not to his detriment when measured. It’s a cheap appeal to that loathsome, deplorable, uneducable trashy white whose vote he desperately needs if he is to survive another election.
And the worst part of it is that this is not the ground floor of how gross Trump can get. Believe me.
One of things I could never stand is when people- smart people- decided that Donald Trump is the eternal Comeback Kid; that he can’t be stopped or brought to heel. I don’t know if it was Trump or those smart people who started this pernicious notion, but yesterday’s elections have put the lie to that.
We are a long way away from putting Trump in prison or even impeaching the motherfucker. But it cannot be stressed enough that he is losing his power, to the degree that he ever had some. Each election day shows us that voters are, at bottom, annoyed and bored by Donald Trump.
That’s the secret bump for whomever seizes the ring. I have optimism that reasonable people who don’t fly a red or blue flag will either sit out or vote for change because they’re tired. Tired of the foolish tweets, tired of the attention seeking, the rank juvenility, the destructive tendencies, the divide and conquer, and the habitual lying.
And scared by the hate-we can’t forget that.
The point is that Trump is vulnerable, and quite beatable. The perfect storm conditions for his ascendancy are no longer there, there’s no damn emails, no FBI director to upend the election with a sudden investigation, and no Jill Stein. The Bern-or bust crew are still an irritant, but they did not stop Hillary Clinton from capturing the popular vote so really, that’s not a factor here either.
I just want to give the South mad fucking props for mostly excising their corrupt Republicans. Too often I will fall back into talking shit about the South, caused by New England elitist tendencies. But Kentucky and Virginia are showing us (and me) that they have limits to what they will put up with.
We are IN PLAY.
Fuck all demagogues and obstacles. I tell you now that the biggest wave will come for you soon enough.
Lately I’ve just been letting the political waves and their compatriot, the undertow roll over me and drag me under. Shit is flying everywhere and I don’t envy anyone in the journo profession who is doing their best to get the signal out from the noise, because I can’t keep up. That is by design, of course.
To use a Trumpism: There’s a lot of shit, believe me.
I guess the first thing on my mind is why we seem to be letting Trump skate. No, I’m not trying to say Democrats are slow-walking this inquiry, although having an impeachment inquiry that lasts until November would indeed be a boon to them. But so far we haven’t put enough teeth on the Trumpists, who largely think they are shielded from accountability thanks to the Justice Department running interference for them.
I can wait because I have the luxury to do so, but many people are suffering everywhere thanks to Twitler.
Here’s the thing, perhaps: American heroes are billionaires. In a dog-eat-dog system that equates worth with how much money you have, it would seem that no crime committed in wealth’s name is that much of a big fucking deal.
What’s different about Trump, and what bugs some of the conservatives, institutionalists, and masters of the universe is not that he commits crimes, it’s that he’s so goddamned vulgar about it.
By the same token, they may have resented a straight shooter like Barack Obama for his stark refusal to cheat and grift. He made them look like the slimy vipers they are.
I think that the white collar system, where Trump wets his beak, is saying: dude, do your dirt, but don’t flaunt it. As wealth worshippers, to do otherwise is the ultimate sin.
We all know the political system we have right now is an oligarchy. And Trump’s rise has brought forth all manner of kooks, cronies, sycophants, relatives and propagandists to clear the way for his measure of cream. There is no administration in modern history that can hold a candle to this one in terms of naked perfidy, self-dealing, and all around dismantling of anything public that gets in the way of profit. And no administration has done it so openly– so in order to perpetuate the illusion that we have a functioning democracy, I figure eventually the other leeches and crooks in Congress are going to have to say enough, stop pissing on our shoes or you’re out of the club. And that’s where we are with Trump. He’s not really in trouble for what he does so much as how he’s done it.
Nevertheless, there will be yokels who are telling their kids that they can be the next Donald Trump if you just work hard enough. And not once will it occur to them that Trump and most Richie Riches were born on third base with a silver spoon hanging from their mouths.”Work” is for little people. There is no relation to the average conservative who believes personal responsibility will bring you wealth and the circus of thieves and masters of the universe who have been fucking over the people with the same old tools they always have-bribery, embezzlement, collusion, cronyism, and the hoarding of capital and the subsequent squeeze on the serfs.
To conclude, nothing is more American that enriching yourself at any cost. But the first rule of white club is not to talk about white club, and Trump won’t shut the fuck up for even a few minutes about what they used to do in the shadows.
I guess it is time to discuss the Kurds. Who are they and why is it important?
Many of us are hearing of them for the first time, which is a bit unusual because they were pivotal participants in the fight for Iraq during “the insurgency” post-occupation and bravely fought the emergence of the ISIS cancer as well. I remember being there in 2003 and seeing graffiti in Baghdad that said “PKK”, which I did not understand at the time. They’ve been at this war thing for more than a minute.
You may be asking other questions. Why do so many people suddenly give a damn about them? What is it that we owe to the Kurdish people?
If you just got here, we just fucked them over big time by ceding a part of their “territory” to Turkey. You won’t find “Kurdistan” on a contemporary map, and I suspect you never will. However, here’s a representation of what an autonomous Kurdish state would look like. As a people, they are a victim of the sloppy partitioning of the Middle East by Western powers.
Anyway, we fortified them so they could battle ISIS largely in our stead, and now we are forcing them to run from the land they know as home in Syria. Thanks to the capriciousness of Donald Trump, we unleashed the cruelty of the Turkish military upon Kurdish civilians. Rumors of torture and the deployment of Willy Pete abound.
Having said that, let’s be clear: double-crossing is as American as apple pie. To me, there’s nothing particularly shocking about America hanging the Kurds out to dry. The United States likes the map the way it is. There has never, not even in the virtuous Obama administration, been a mandate for an independent Kurdistan. They have de facto control over northern Iraq, but it’s unlikely that it will become a new “country” and we would probably not support separatism were they to declare independence.
The double cross is certainly not uniquely American. Sometimes, it’s just the way of the world; countries ally so long as they have mutual interests and then part ways when they no longer have them. Think Soviet Russia during and after World War II. Now, the thing about Kurds that makes their situation somewhat unique is that they have no country. Their territory, if you want to call it that, sprawls across four Middle Eastern states. They are fraught with hostile powers on all sides-being a Kurd has been a tough row to hoe, although they are certainly not strangers to violence and defense. I think that perhaps that “wandering” position that they are in makes some of us sympathetic to their desire for land they can call their own. Their struggle, if it can be compared to anything in recent memory, echoes that of the Jewish Zionists, who were very useful to the West by establishing an aggressive client state in the midst of the Arab-dominated Middle East.
I am certainly not saying it is OK at all to greenlight hostilities against allied people only to try futilely to halt them mere days later. The feckless infant occupying the Oval Office has once again shown us he doesn’t have the courage to follow through on his ill-informed adventures; he’s never met a policy he can’t do a quick 180 on. It’s gotten innocents pointlessly murdered this time; it’s as ugly as it sounds and he’s hopefully not going to have much success spinning it as some sort of victory to his enablers in the Senate, especially if the incursion into Syria is shown to be part of a financial “deal” with the Turks.
What we are finding out is that the only thing that really motivates Trump into ever acting is by offering something valuable to him. It’s quid pro quos all the way down. It is shocking in its brazenness and bloodlessness. We shouldn’t forget what that monstrous prick has done to the innocent Kurds to deal things to himself- even as we must and shall make room for new headlines no doubt screaming about the latest Trump transgression against vaunted American ideals and values. Sadly, the massacre of innocents abroad probably won’t be enough for our “conservative” lawmakers to stop normalizing this insane monkey business.
I ask: how much longer, Lord? How much more?
Rather than try to explain the intricacies of the current political climate, which would have me tearing my hair out, I would like to put up a few pictures for history’s sake.
First, this picture of Nancy Pelosi upbraiding Donald Trump at a White House meeting needs to be committed to art adorning a wall somewhere on Capitol Hill:
President Fuckballs thinks this picture made Pelosi look bad. But every time I look at it, I find myself more interested in the crestfallen leaders on Trump’s side of the table-and that’s how I know who got embarrassed at this meeting.
Then there is the matter of taking note of Trump’s true mental state. Sure, there’s been no bottom yet as to how stupid and childish this 73-going-on-eight human can actually be, but I think this letter full of juvenile sewage to the President of Turkey should serve as a mile marker on this highway to hell we are on.
There’s so much to unpack here, but I’ll leave that to more clever pundits. Just gazing at it as a whole is a streak-free window into how arrested the development of Donald Trump unabashedly is.
Anyway, as for me, I’m still eating news with a fork and knife. I’ve been a bit quiet, which one might think weird given that we are finally, probably watching the destruction of Donald Trump. He’s in more trouble than he thinks, and at this point I don’t see an endgame that doesn’t involve at least his impeachment. True, getting your hopes up since November 8, 2016 has proven to be foolish at a lot of junctures. We lost an election we technically won. Robert Mueller’s report was doomed to fail. And in the near future, something settled and litigated like abortion might be criminalized any day now because Trump got two SCOTUS picks and if Ruth Ginsburg doesn’t do her pushups, he may get three. Those of you who actually know what is going on understands that his presidency heretofore and currently has been a nuclear-sized shitbomb, with fallout raining on our heads every damn day.
So, a few things and I will go quiet again. Maybe not for long, these things are hard to predict.
As shown above, Trump may be the village idiot, but he can be rather canny at times, especially when it becomes a question of his survival. I’m convinced that one of his tactics to that effect is to make it hard to concentrate on what he does. While we are staring agape at the latest obstruction of justice-flavored tweet, pointing wildly to the Democrats in House Intel or anyfuckingbody who’ll listen, he loads the bullshit cannon over and over again in the hopes that no one can keep up with the sheer volume of lies, offenses, garbage, distortion, propaganda and self aggrandizement. This way, the investigations get slowed down, the pro-Trump flying monkeys lie and dissemble on TV about what they’re lying about and for those of us in the audience with a moral compass, we are given to hopelessness and disempowerment because we are watching him ostensibly getting away with nonstop criminal behavior.
It’s an interesting, if exhausting high-wire act to watch, and if Trump is getting juice out of being too slippery to be caught, I’ll give him props for boldness. I’ve certainly never seen a con this big in my life. However, I really think there’s a there there in the Ukraine quagmire scandal, which is metastasizing daily. If investigators can focus on it, he’s going to either resign or lose the 2020 election, both satisfactory conclusions for me. I’m not going to call for a frog march-villains the size of the president always get away. Think about it- Ford pardoned Nixon before he was consumed with an indictment, Reagan played too senile to understand what Ollie North was doing in the White House basement and somehow managed to get his veep, who was implicated in Iran-Contra elected to boot. No one cares anymore that Clinton lied to a grand jury to hide his peccadilloes, no one significant went to jail over the second invasion of Iraq and all its attendant malfeasance (unless you count Scooter Libby) . And I have no doubt that presidents of antiquity were equally up to their wigs in skulduggery and skated from culpability. It’s a shame that politics attracts such dishonest people, and I guess the only good thing that can be said is that there will never be an entity quite like President Trump occupying 1600 Pennsylvania again. They broke the mold when that piece of…work was created.
One last picture:
Goodnight, Representative Cummings. Things on the hill have gotten a bit darker with your passage.
Turns out Nancy Pelosi was in a much bigger hurry than I expected.
I’m glad that my defense of her yesterday was unnecessary. I did not realize she had the timing and the numbers. I don’t think anyone really saw it coming until it came, and anyone who says otherwise just got fuckin’ lucky. After all, when I found out about the Speaker’s address to the nation, only 179 representatives were on board with impeachment. I figured it would take a month or two to nail down an impeachment. But the inquiry itself should bring several off the fence as Trump’s position worsens. Even Mitch McConnell allowed a vote resolving that Congress should see the whistleblower complaint. That’s how you know the shit has hit. I’m rather surprised by the ordinarily craven Senate Republicans agreeing to defend their institution’s integrity, since their trip has always been self-serving look out for #1 stuff, the kind of shit they peddle to their poorly educated base. So huzzah to moving as a separate but equal political body. And of course, fuck all of you-because you knew what Trump was doing and you let it happen. Repeatedly.
I still don’t think we will muster enough votes to remove. But that’s got nothing to do with anything. The point for now is to hold hearings until election day, to fuck him up in public while he desperately tries to stay in the White House, and to show the base that Democrats are done with Lucy-and-the-football type tactics from the GOP. The order of the day is to make Donald Trump look like a bigger piece of shit than he truly is, which sounds like a feat but I am sure it’s plenty doable. There hasn’t been a bottom to date.
I love that we called the Republicans’ bluff and paid no mind to their feeble warnings that impeachment was only going to cost Democrats their support. They fucking wish. This powder keg is lit and it’s under King Dummy’s chair in the Oval Office.
Something is different this time around. Trump’s Ukraine gambit probably pales in comparison to the crimes Trump has already committed. What’s new is that all of it now falls under the rubric of a formal impeachment investigation. The best Donald Trump can do in the situation he’s in is resign and beg for a Pence pardon, or have Elon Musk launch him into space, where there are currently no extradition laws. There’s also no oxygen, and that’s OK by me.
By early afternoon Howe felt he had enough men to launch his assault. As the British forces began their advance, the cannonade from Copp’s Hill and British warships ceased. In line formation, the two wings had to negotiate fences and other obstacles as they slowly neared the Provincial line. The men from Massachusetts, Connecticut, and New Hampshire were ordered to hold their fire until the enemy drew so close that their musket fire would have its most devastating effect. It was at this time, legend claims, that one of the commanding officers from the colonies ordered: “Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes!“
The musket fire proved devastating when the advancing British came into range.
I think I can speak for my generation when I say that none of us will ever forget the story of The Battle Of Bunker Hill largely because of General Prescott’s famous (and perhaps apocryphal) command.
I also remember being taught that the colonists ran out of shot and had to use whatever they could as a projectile. Nails. Concrete. They fixed bayonets. It was quite a tableau for my impressionable head.
In the end, they had to retreat. But not before we gave the Redcoats a wicked bloody nose. They paid more than we did to take the high ground.
There is no parallel in history that comes to mind more trenchantly than that Revolutionary War battle and where we are at on an impeachment of Donald Trump.
This will be the second time that I’ve given Nancy Pelosi the benefit of the doubt regarding the matter. But the fact is that she is under an extreme amount of pressure. She has to satiate and continue to captivate the angry voters who have seen enough and need impeachment as a balm, and also protect vulnerable blue dogs in key states who cannot call for impeachment if they want to keep their jobs.
The American electorate is fickle; and our politicians have to try to placate a majority of their voters so they can stay in office. I’m pretty far left, but I think I understand and appreciate that this is a delicate balancing maneuver that the Speaker and the Democratic establishment are attempting.
I’ll just say it again for those of you in the cheap seats: impeachment can’t come yet. It’s certainly not for lack of crimes committed by this administration. It is about numbers and timing. It isn’t about Pelosi’s choice at all, and I don’t think she is stringing us along. It would be an enormous and inadvisable gamble to presume that Democrats will go to the polls no matter how much our concerns are ignored because the alternative sucks way more. The Speaker gets that we’re mad and impatient and if she and Democratic leadership learned anything at all from 2016, it’s that significant numbers of lefties (some of who are party faithful) will cut off their noses happily and withhold enough votes that will send the Democrats back to the woods to figure out how they blew an easy election.
No thank you.
So: let’s talk numbers. Since last tally, 70 representatives were ready to vote for impeachment, 69 of which were Democratic. We needed more than three times that to gain the majority on the question of impeachment. That was June.
As of this writing, that number has grown to 164 Democrats (and Justin Amash). Doing the math, that leaves 54 representatives that need to sign on to notch a simple majority that would pass articles. It’s a majority of Democrats, yes- but QED, those are not the numbers the Speaker needs to launch a successful campaign to impeach. With any luck, it won’t take much longer for the number of YEAS to increase significantly.
Second of all, Nancy only gets one shot at this- so she needs to use a great deal of breath control to bag Trump and all the pieces of shit that abetted his crime spree. The ideal time to drop a bomb on Trump is during the campaign season while he tries to con enough people to vote for his dumb ass again. Making next year difficult, painful and utterly deleterious would be a great play, even if the effort is destined to die in a complicit GOP-controlled Senate.
Let me take this moment as I have in the past to remind you that the best way to get to impeachment is to annoy your representatives to vote yes on the matter. Going on Twitter to scream for Pelosi’s head because she won’t support a measure that would die on the House floor is stupid.
This is our Bunker Hill. We can’t take our shot until it’s the right time. We won’t win in the end. But we will bleed the bastards enough, hopefully enough to tilt what is going to be a contentious process definitively in our favor when the war ends in November 2020.
UPDATE Sep 24: As of 1:55 today, the number of YEAS is now 170. Votes are beginning to cascade in as this strange Ukraine story spreads like a wildfire! Nancy may say the I word a hell of a lot quicker than I calculated…
UPDATE Sep 24: At 5pm, Nancy Pelosi confirmed that the House will be conducting an impeachment inquiry, rendering this post more full of shit than it already was. Now. Now it begins.
Yeah, so I quit Facebook a while back, citing reasons of privacy. And now, thanks partially to what must surely be an addictive personality, I am a Twitter junkie who goes daily on the President Of The United States’ personal account to tell him what an insufferable dumbfuck he truly is.
This violates the spirit in which I deactivated my account on Facebook. I felt that social media was a danger to me in that I am a disabled vet and there was some talk that Social Security and possibly the VA were going to start looking at our accounts and if they deemed us happy and healthy per our pages, then we might not need our benefits anymore.
Chances are these proposals hit the circular file, another trial balloon from a president with an unlimited supply of hot air. But at the time I sensed clear and present danger.
I’m now about four months into breaking my Facebook addiction. I’m starting to feel normal about it, and that’s good news to a user. There oughta be chips for this shit.
What I was not ready for was the lure of Twitter. Its sparse design and seemingly unfriendly layout was miles away from what I was accustomed to at Facebook. It all started so innocently. I looked around cautiously, lurking here and there. What I have learned about myself, and perhaps knew already, is I am really bad at not sharing my opinion. I mean yes, this is my little corner of the internet and I can shout at the void for as long and as hard as I want to because I didn’t make the cut of good bloggers. But that’s the problem with voids. They don’t answer you or engage you. I write mainly for pleasure, but what writer doesn’t want you to see the work you do and like it?
In contrast, you can reach ANYONE on Twitter if you want. All you have to do is follow someone, and pow!-you will be in their feed, as long as you can keep your salvos below 280 characters. Or you can get retweeted by acquaintances and find yourself with quite the audience on a more popular page. I joined in 2009 but my timeline lay dormant until I gave up Facebook for good. I had 13 random followers at first, and a friend or two that I hadn’t talked to in a long time. In the last few months, I have quintupled the number of people who follow me. That’s fast, and sort of a lot! And Twitter, as social media goes, is a harsh mistress. People who tweet stupid shit, especially well known people, can expect to be “ratioed”, which is when hundreds to thousands of people stop by to tell you in hundreds to thousands of ways how stupid the shit you tweeted actually was.
It’s kinda fun. It’s certainly more combative than something like Facebook if that’s what you want from your social media. It’s almost like the old days for me, because the big fish bloggers of yore are very much Twitter enthusiasts. We’ve all enjoyed the longform but it sometimes takes a different skill set to be clever in 280 characters in such a way that everyone loves what you have to say.
I haven’t really learned it yet. I do a lot of retweeting right now. My personal Twitter hero right now is Jeff Tiedrich, who (unbeknownst to me at first) runs The Smirking Chimp blog. Every day, he stealthily waits for Donald Trump to tweet and fires off a smart ass quip within minutes of Chaos Hitler’s post that we sane denizens of the Twitterverse all hope he sees when he glances at the fallout of yet another ill-advised tweet. Always nipping at his bone spurs, all day and night. I live for the abuse that Jeff is allowed to dole out to our orange enfant terrible because tweets are part of the presidential record.
Hooray for democracy! The government may be collecting presidential detractors on a list to send to us to camps when the slow-walk fascist coup happening here is complete, but in the meantime, let’s have a laugh on Twitter and let loose on someone notable who is desperately, desperately ripe for our ratio.
There must be something magic about running for public office. You’re like a rockstar, except you can’t sing or play for shit. There’s clearly a bit of juice/electricity to looking at the sea of little signs bearing your name and hearing people respond to your well-organized thoughts with out-of-their-seat applause.
You have power. Sway.
Most of us never experience that kind of fealty. Our noses are too busy at the grindstone to look up and say, ” You know what? I have something super important to say that tens of thousands, perhaps millions of people need to hear. Follow me.”
Perhaps that is the element most missing from the coverage of the 1,489 Democrats currently running for the biggest brass ring on the planet. To wit: that this shit is addictive, and that, as those of you who have had an addiction know, can countermand the fuck out of reason.
A lot of people are making hay about the number of contestants entering the primaries. The numbers are unhealthy politically speaking, because there’s only so much oxygen in the room at the show. And as Joe Biden recently learned, some of the contestants in the rapidly filling water chamber that is the primary season hide a knife to cut your supply off and it’s see you at the bottom, chump. But even the existing amount of oxygen is not enough. You better be able to say something meaningful and make it fucking quick because someone else will come along, steal your breath and say it before you. And you need to be fresh and new when you’re saying it, as Bernie Sanders has recently learned.
The first of the Democratic candidates to concede that they haven’t got a Chinaman’s chance will reveal themselves soon. It is my sincere hope that others who know damn well they aren’t going anywhere will do the same. But as they say, wish in one hand, shit in another. In fact, we’re about to have a net gain of candidates. Joe Ses… oh, who the hell cares declared a few weeks ago. But brace yourselves…
a fucking billionaire wants to be the people’s candidate.
Why? Because he can. Obviously this is some sort of wild head trip, because no one I know needed Tom Steyer to get on the stump, pipe up and say that Donald Trump should be impeached. He is late as fuck to the party on that count. But apparently no one has been doing it right in Tom Steyer’s mind, I guess. He’s probably going to buy his way onto the next debate stage- out of your email and onto your TV.
To which I say, thrillsville and what the fuck ever. You’re already gutshot and you don’t even know it, tuna. This primary doesn’t need another fucking patrician to tell us what’s up. Strike one: you’re a guy. That’s a major liability right now. Strike two: you are a white guy. You are the root cause of every suck-ass thing in the world. Strike three: you are an old, rich white guy. That’s a subset of people who are even more precisely the root cause of every suck-ass thing in the world. Only Joe Biden, for arcane reasons I cannot divine, is exempt. For now.
To fail to be able to put his finger in the wind and figure out which way the wind is blowing doesn’t say much about his decision-making skills. With any luck, he’ll be as annoying, charmless and feckless as the last billionaire ego tripper to think he could win the presidency, Howard Schultz-and he can fuck off just as quickly before he starts eating up valuable oxygen for viable candidates. By dint of his extreme wealth and his somewhat longstanding belief that Trump needs to be removed, he’s grabbed that live wire of exposure. And he likes the feeling even if we need to do more than dump Trump.
What was wrong with funding groups to save the planet, and providing funds to whomever can legitimately stomp a mudhole in Trump and the GOP?
Was that getting boring, Narcissus?