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Fuck This Motherfucking Fuck

I’m gonna have to pop a handful of Xanax before I get on the Internet. Because inevitably, there will be a story about the latest…intriguing thing that Ben Carson has said. And then I will get mad, and type bad words here because I don’t fucking believe that a person could be as full of shit as this asshole. Trump can’t touch this guy in the barking mad contest this GOP race has become. Here’s his latest evacuation:

Ben Carson, the Republican presidential candidate, said on Tuesday that victims of mass shootings should not be timid during attacks, imagining that if he were facing a raging gunman, “I would not just stand there and let him shoot me.”

“I would say: ‘Hey, guys, everybody attack him! He may shoot me, but he can’t get us all,’” Mr. Carson, a conservative who has been rising in recent polls, said.

Oooooh! Fuck you! You would pee your fucking pants if someone suddenly whipped out a gun and started blasting in your vicinity! You couldn’t lead a trail of ants to a picnic! You know how I know this, doc? Because you are normal. Not only that, but you have the vim of a sonnambulist. I don’t buy you as the difference maker at all. No one sane would.

You think Ben Carson is done being a god-damned fuckhead asshole yet? Nope.

In a question-and-answer session on Facebook this week, he explained that two of his cousins had been killed in the streets and that as a doctor he had to remove many bullets from bodies. Despite the breathtaking nature of such violence, he said, curbing the right to bear arms is not a real solution.

“I never saw a body with bullet holes that was more devastating than taking the right to arm ourselves away,” Mr. Carson wrote.

Are you trying to process this shit? Because I can’t. People mowed down in the most innocent times of their lives, and you yawn, unbothered. You haven’t seen enough bodies, asshole. And they’re piling up in fucked up numbers.

I don’t think I’ve sworn on this blog as much as I have in this post. This guy is the pits, awful, terrible, lying, posturing, foolish, everything that we should all stand against as good citizens, but 45% of the population could conceivably eat this bowl of bullshit up in a general. Amazing.

Ghouls

Searching for upsides to Oregon? Look no further:

The deadliest mass killing in the state’s history had taken place a few miles away and to the staff and customers of the Roseburg Gun Shop it was clear they faced a grave threat – from Barack Obama.

Authorities had just discovered a cache of 13 weapons possessed by the shooter, Chris Harper Mercer, but the man they feared was thousands of miles away in the White House, plotting, as they saw it, to confiscate their weapons and leave them defenceless

“I’ve just ordered some more ARs,” said the owner, Candi Kinney, referring to assault rifles. “There’s always a rush on them after a big shooting. We can’t keep the stuff on the shelves.”

These sick fucks are exactly the people who happily sell deadly weapons to anyone with a pulse and a clean rap sheet. All “Roseburg” gun stores are complicit in these horrific murders. They have the sheer nerve to say that when these things happen that they are the solution, not the other way around. There’s no common sense to the gun argument anymore. Guns a problem? Get more! Being armed is an addiction that we can’t seem to tame.

Something is very, very wrong with us. How can one be so sanguine about selling the death tool after it has been used to assassinate so many people? I guess in the end, killing is business…and business, for slime like these shop owners, is good.

From The “I Don’t Really Want To Be President” Files

I’m just gonna let this one sink in:

“Stuff happens,” said Jeb Bush Friday, in response to this week’s shooting at an Oregon community college that left nine deceased victims and 10 injured.

Speaking at a campaign event in Greenville, South Carolina, the Republican presidential candidate said, “Look, stuff happens. There’s always a crisis. And the impulse is always to do something, and it’s not necessarily the right thing to do.”

 I think that one of your jobs as President is to fucking do something, or at least weigh in on a crisis. It is time to act. Let me direct you here, since our dumbass above doesn’t understand what a bully pulpit truly is. Here’s how you do reality. Fix the motherfucking Second:

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms when serving in the Militia shall not be infringed.”

Redundant, but might be good for the cure for what is clearly ailing us. I mean, we are way past the need for “the militia” anyway. That is what this neat thing called “The Army” or even “The National Guard” is for.

Confidence Man

I had to do a double-take on this. I wasn’t sure it was real:

Ben “Mookie” Thomas, a former Navy Seal and spokesman for Spike’s Tactical gunsplains that he wanted a rifle that no devout Muslim would touch.

The AR-15 assault rifle is laser-etched on one side with a Knights Templar Long Cross – a symbol of the Christian Crusades to reclaim the Holy Land from Muslims – and Psalm 144:1 on the other side: “Blessed be the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.”

“Off the cuff I said I’d like to have a gun that if a Muslim terrorist picked it up a bolt of lightning would hit and knock him dead,” Mookie said.

I love the fact that someone can have a semi-automatic rifle and act like he’s 8 years old. Lightning bolts? Is that supposed to be funny?

Real terrorists won’t give a flying fuck about the inscription. A good bit of them can only read Arabic. And they don’t care what it says even if they could-does it shoot? Do I have ammo for it? These are questions that an actual Muslim terrorist would ask if he somehow got hold of one before he went about his business of frightening civilians.

…it has three nifty settings on the safety selector: “Peace,” “War” and “God Wills It.

Christ, he sounds like a terrorist, doesn’t he? But this piker really isn’t interesting in killing Mooslims. In the grand old American tradition, it’s just a money-making scheme:

You can pick up one of Mookie’s Christian weapons for $1,395.

I took a look around to see what your standard AR-15 costs. About $800-1000. So that’s a nice markup for some bullshit.

New profiles in Christianity. I feel the love, don’t you?

Gotcha, Motherfucker

I’ve been looking for this to hit the net, because it set my hair on fire when I heard him say it on TV. A student asked him if he favors stricter gun control because everybody is shooting themselves and other people. His response:

“I uh, don’t think this is a national…(mumbles)…the, the federal government should not be involved in gun laws.”

I am sick to death of these people evading questions by using the tired-ass trope of “state’s rights”. I’ve said it many times-I will repeat it because it bears repeating. These assholes don’t really believe in the Constitution. What they’d like to go back to is the Articles Of Confederation where states ran nilly-willy with their own money, their own militia, etc. The Constitution was created in part to extend the reach of the federal government and reign those motherfuckers in.

Gun control is a de jure federal issue because the right to carry a fucking gun happens to reside in the Bill Of Rights, which established our framework of government. It is most certainly within the purview of Congress to pass laws restricting what weapons you can use if you are allowed to own them.

We’re stuck between Scylla and Charybdis. We can’t just let gun owners go crazy out there, and we can’t outlaw guns. But we have a few ideas, like registration and insurance. Stiff penalties for straw purchasers. There’s ways we can regulate the militia.

Bush is an idiot, as per usual. He can’t say something sensible because his campaign is hanging by a thread right now. Several candidates are punting on the really tough issues, and the press are covering them like stink on shit. He’s fucked either way he answers, because all the Republicans need to court the neanderthal wing of the party, the wing that really does want to go back to the 18th century, warts and all. Expecting reasonability from the GOP is going to be a long fucking haul, and I think that the mushy middle will judge them incompetent and facile when the silly season is over and the real campaign starts.

Killing Time

No, we don’t have a gun problem at all. Nope. Nothing to see here. When do we say enough?

Zoo Don’t Have The Right

I am not a zoo lover. I think most of the animals there are depressed and inert. But I have children, and part of my job as a parent is to take a kid to a goddamn zoo. Well, that’s what my wife tells me anyway. Bottom line is, going to the zoo is a family event.

Some don’t see it that way. One huckleberry in Missouri thinks it’s a place to brandish a weapon. Unsurprisingly, the zoo has a policy in place that prohibits him from doing that. But our hero thinks that because the zoo is publicly funded, it gives him the right to carry per Missouri law. He wants chapter and verse that states that he is not allowed to have a weapon in a public space:

“That signage, unless it’s backed up by case law or statutory law, is nothing more than the zoo’s attempt to reinforce their biases and to deceive people into not exercising their rights,” Smith argued.

I can’t believe we are going to politicize something centered around admission to a zoo. But there it is. It’s because of “bias” that the policy exists. “Deception”. Wow, whatever. I could have sworn it’s because a nice day at a park shouldn’t involve children and parents being frightened by an armed man.

Well, the Missouri courts granted a temporary restraining order on the ammosexual and his retarded brethren. A development which, he says, is some sort of triumph.

Smith says that the restraining order is a victory for him, because it forces the zoo to explain their policy on guns. He tells the Post-Dispatch, “I consider this a win. It’s a win in that they have finally shown their hand.”

And what about your hand, buddy? You’re the one playing with a busted straight and going all in. At every single juncture, you have been told you are wrong-how is this “victory”?

When you get right down to it, this guy is a fucking pussy. Choosing a zoo to make a stand on this is pathetic. If you really believe you have the right to carry on public land, why not go to the Missouri Supreme Court and try to watch a hearing while strapped? Why not walk around the halls of the legislature? Take a tour of the governor’s mansion? Ah, you won’t, because intrinsically you have no balls.

It’s like smoking, for example. It’s simply not a considerate thing to do in close quarters. It’s legal, but places everywhere you go say no lighting up. I bet those hallowed halls of government have a no-smoking policy in addition to a gun ban. Go ask smokers what they think of your “rights”. They will tell you to just get used to it, because your activities are not welcome. They probably never will be. It isn’t bias, dummy. it’s protecting the public health.

Yes. From you. You’re an irritant to polite society. Obey the rules or go fuck yourself.

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