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Bad Penny

Cronyismnoun, derogatory:the appointment of friends and associates to positions of authority, without proper regard to their qualifications.

Kakistocracy-Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.

Sycophantnoun: a person who acts obsequiously toward someone important in order to gain advantage.

Get used to seeing these words in the next few years. Well, I’ll be using them here a lot because they’re so pertinent to what will become the Trump administration.

With good reason, everybody is crapping their Pampers over Donald Trump’s nominations. He’s putting friends and donors in high places, and he’s even considering former rivals of his. Here’s a few examples. He’s nominated Betsy DeVos, a well known conservative billionaire donor and god-bothering public school hater, to head the Department Of Education. Retired Lt. General Michael Flynn was at Trump’s side as an advisor on foreign affairs during the campaign and now the paranoid, Islamophobic retread is being called up as his man on national security. Mitt Romney is groveling for a spot as Secretary of State. I’m sure you’ve all seen the picture of him and Trump at dinner, but it says so much I’ll put it up here:


If chosen, he will probably be the smartest and least reckless hire Trump will make, much as I dislike his rich privileged ass.

There’s another former rival who is being considered for HUD.

I can’t believe I have to talk about this guy again. He’s back.

Thanks, Trump.

Yes, we need to talk about Ben Carson, Dr. Smart Stupid.

As many of you may know, I haven’t been kind to Ben in the past, for a number of reasons. He’s made me sputter curse after curse after curse against him because he’s so fucking ignorant about everything except neurosurgery. He’s about as well informed as Donald Trump-he has no facts, just opinions and eyerolling bullshit to offer on any subject you like. Maybe that’s why they will get along.

So what does Gentle Ben know about housing? Only what he thinks he knows, as usual:

In the housing sphere, a recent study on behalf of the Department of Housing and Urban Development found that black and Asian homeseekers are shown or told about 15 to 19 percent fewer homes than whites with similar credit qualifications and housing interests. During the subprime lending boom, African Americans with good credit scores were 3.5 times as likely as whites with good credit scores to receive higher-interest-rate loans, and Latinos were 3.1 times as likely to receive such loans. And the Federal Reserve found that in 2009, African Americans were twice as likely to be denied a loan, even controlling for income and other qualifying criteria.

Carson believes that, despite this continuing discrimination, the Fair Housing Act needs to be weaker. In his Washington Times op-ed, the former surgeon labeled disparate impact suits “mandated social-engineering schemes,” and dismissed them as part of a “history of failed socialist experiments in this country.” Carson also aligned himself with a dissenting opinion by Justice Samuel Alito, which would have eliminated such suits under the Fair Housing Act.

So successfully suing because you have been discriminated against due to your race is part of”mandated social engineering schemes” and the Fair Housing provisions are “failed socialist experiments”.

I know, folks. They need to invent their own dictionary since normal people don’t know what the fuck conservatives are often going on about. They have their own Wikipedia and Facebook(though that one may have failed). They talk in a code only they understand. Let me try to parse the argle-bargle.

Let’s look at the loaded scare words first- “mandated” and “schemes”. They evoke ideas of mandatory participation in a system that is trying (“scheming”) to fool you. They don’t really mean anything. As for social engineering-someone needs to get Ben a history book not from Texas and explain that his black ass wouldn’t be anywhere without mandated social engineering-one of those tools used for said engineering was the Thirteenth Amendment. It said no more owning people. Another was the Civil Rights Act. No more discrimination in businesses and much more. If those aren’t social engineering…what is? Social engineering helps promote equality-and I bet since Ben made his first million, he hasn’t given a fuck about that because money is the key to escaping the problems that social engineering was created to address. As always, the conservative mantra-“fuck you, I got mine.”

Then we have more scare words in “failed” and “experiments”. If conservatives say something is “failed” enough, people will believe it(see entire Trump campaign). And “experiments” are only done on rabbits and holocaust Jews, not ordinary upstanding citizens! And unfailingly, conservatives still do not know what “socialism” means. When and if it ever comes, Ben, you’ll know about it. Until the last capitalist deposits the last check in the Cayman Islands, we won’t have socialism. Admittedly, we employ some progressivity (or liberalism, whatever you prefer) that looks like socialism, but isn’t interested in upending the social order or changing the ownership of the means of production-it just tries to smooth out the bad outcomes for people who may be left behind. As I said, Ben Carson doesn’t have to worry about bad outcomes, since he’s in the big bucks club. He doesn’t want to pay it forward, he wants to hold every penny. His only bad outcomes are missing the tax loopholes his accountant finds.

Ben Carson hates his race, unless it helps him be a token in the Richie-Rich crowd. Yeah, I fucking said it. If you disagree, show me that he doesn’t. Because his comments about housing, which is a basic human right, don’t show it. He is out of touch as out of touch can be. He doesn’t seem to understand the real reasons why there aren’t more Ben Carsons or Barack Obamas, and doesn’t really care. As far as I know, he could care less what happens to blacks or anyone else who can’t cough up the dough for a roof over their head now that he’s respected in the white world. But if he does deign to speak to the disenfranchised and disadvantaged, I can hear him now, lecturing to them about bootstraps and library cards as they hold three jobs to sustain the mortgage that my white ass would get a discount on-if they get a mortgage at all.


Ask The Non-Experts

My TV is about 30 feet or so away from my computer. It’s on all day, tuned to you guessed it, MSNBC. I’m not thrilled about it because I think Phil Griffin has hollowed the network out like a fucking jack ‘o lantern, but the alternative is the Corey Lewandowski Network or…no, that’s my only real alternative, let’s be real here. Anyway, about an hour and a half ago,Andrea Mitchell, who needs to retire for all her worth as an investigative reporter, put Ben Carson on to talk about Donald’s inability to talk about veteran’s issues. I had to half listen, distract myself, because I knew whatever he said was going to put a hurt on my processors. I also knew that if he said something characteristically fucking idiotic, someone on the internet would tell me sooner or later.


In effort to clean up his former White House rival’s remarks, Carson suggested Trump chalk it up to a lesson learned of how to navigate a politically correct environment.

“Well, you know, in a politically correct atmosphere in which we exist, you are never supposed to say that somebody’s weak, particularly a vulnerable group,” Carson told MSNBC. “He needs to learn that lesson, I guess, if he’s gonna function well in a politically correct atmosphere.”

which reduces properly to

“Well, you know, in a politically correct atmosphere in which we exist, you are never supposed to say that somebody’s weak, particularly a vulnerable group,” Carson told MSNBC. “He needs to learn that lesson, I guess, if he’s gonna function well in a politically correct atmosphere.”

So Trump, according to Carson, needs to learn to be more polite when he is being insulting.

Since he once had his hands in someone’s head, he talked like a doctor. He chose to liken PTSD to a virus, one that some people are immune to and others are not.

“But basically what he’s saying is that people are exposed — a large number of people are exposed to something, but only some of them are affected. It’s very much like when you’re in an environment where there’s a virus going around,” he said. “Some people have strong immunity, some people have less strong immunity, and some people are affected by it and some people are not.”

“The ones who are affected by it are not inferior individuals by any stretch of the imagination,” he continued. “It’s just that their system did not withstand it. That’s what he’s saying. He just didn’t explain it correctly.”

Fascinating analogy. One that says nothing about PTSD, but thanks for the homespun, Ben. But you are right, Dr. Demento. He didn’t explain it correctly. That’s because he’s an unapologetic bag of shit and I have never seen in my sweet short life so many people work so hard to translate the utterances of an individual who speaks the native tongue of his or her audience.

Speak Easy

The Internet has a big jump on me, but I just thought I’d share my theory on why the entire Republican party is killing itself, just twisting and writhing in every direction to explain away Melania Trump’s remarkable ability to channel Michelle Obama word for word at the Cleveland convention last night.

It isn’t the fact that she, or whoever wrote the speech, stole. I just saw a couple of bits of Barack Obama channeling Deval Patrick when he was just a pup of a Democratic candidate for president. Lord knows every spin machine the Republican organization has running flashed BIDEN BIDEN BIDEN when they got the unfortunate news that they had a cribber on their side. We are not clean whatsoever, we liberals, from the stain of poor scholarship.

It’s really about Michelle Obama and what she stands for. Who she stands for.

Michelle Obama, you see, is a liberal. That is what is killing them-that a Democrat may have authored part of a Republican’s speech.

Icky! Gross.

For as long as I can remember, the Republican party, if they are anything at all, are the party of values. Family values. Patriotic values. Traditional breadbasket of America religious values. If they could apply for a patent on the definition, they would have. No one has a monopoly on the values racket quite the way the GOP does. Without the patina of moral superiority, the modern Republican party might not survive-because all you have left then is a bunch of poor suckers helping rich people help themselves to the public largesse in the hopes that they too will someday be wealthy. Capitalism alone won’t bring home the wins. Values, prudish self-righteous convictions are key.

My point is that this scandal is sickening them because of the source of the plagiarized material. An abortion-eating Islamic devil worshipper like Michelle Obama can’t possibly have a thing to say when it comes to capital V values! That is where the true bitterness about this scandal really lies. Melania Trump, if you listen to her, is all air-just like her husband-but she made the mistake of being pumped up by the rousing speech of a dirty libtard school lunch policing ape socialist Muslim. All the horrible shit you want to think…that’s what is buoying the Republican response to Melania being caught mouthing Democratic words. They despise the story because of the origin of her speech. Had she been snagged lifting a Republican homily, I think the discourse would change a bit. It would be easier to blame the media. It would be easier to accept her plagiarism if it was coming from her side of the ledger. It would be far less embarrassing if she had lifted from David Duke or Lyndon LaRouche. She brought the stink of democracy with her. That is what they cannot abide.

I’d like to give an honorable mention to someone I have typed many nasty words about. His spin on this, however demented, is almost what you could call “nice”. I’m talking about Ben Carson. He hit me in the heart with this:

“Well, I think what we should be thinking about is if Melania’s speech is similar to Michelle Obama’s speech, that should make us all very happy because we should be saying, whether we’re Democrats or Republicans, we share the same values,” the retired neurosurgeon and former Republican presidential candidate told reporters. “That’s what we should be talking about. Not trying to make it into a controversy.”

That’s about as genuine of an emotion that you will get coming from the hot mess that is all things Republican. Savor it.









An Asshole Returns

Ben Carson, my erstwhile Oreo cookie whipping boy of this year’s pack of shitsacks otherwise known as Republican “candidates” has belched some more moral sewage into the political arena by suggesting that it’s wrong to judge Donald Trump regarding his lascivious treatment of the women surrounding him, because Christian:

Dr. Ben Carson argued on Sunday that Christians should not “judge” GOP presidential front-runner Donald Trump based on his treatment of women.

Carson argued that Trump had “elevated a lot of women in his organization.”

“So as a Christian, what I do do is not judge everybody,” he said. “And that seems to be something that a lot of people have got into. ‘I’m better than you are.’ Give me a break. Let’s just stop for a moment.”

So, using Uncle Ben’s logic, even a rapist or a killer is not worthy of judgement. I’ve run into this bullshit before; Christians judge all the livelong day, but then of course when the tables have turned on them and someone judges them, they say that “only God is fit to judge”.

Whatever. It is hardwired into us to judge. Without the ability to judge, I might walk into heavy traffic because my brain is incapable of spotting danger. It applies to politics; you’re damn right I judge because I don’t want your crazy ass or your friend of the week anywhere near high office. Judging, it turns out, is how you gain your sense of self. Denying this evolutionary advantage is absurd, but that is the Christian way-to deny our basic instincts.

Donald Trump is right. This election is gonna be great, the best.


Big Word Ben

When Mr. Smart Stupid gives you a compliment, quietly acknowledge it and move on. Because Ben Carson is a master surgeon, but also a fucking moron when it comes to certain things. Having a  PhD. means you do one thing very well. Your liberal arts education is in the rearview as you complete your dissertation, so you are woefully behind the power curve in terms of anything else besides that blowjob discipline of yours. I happen to work for a Ph.D and the man cannot write complete sentences, mixes up “lose” and “loose”, and couldn’t confer knowledge in a cogent manner if he tried.

So with that in mind, it amuses me that Ben Carson says this as he endorses Donald Trump:

Carson claimed there are “two different Donald Trumps,” one public and one private, and said he saw the “very cerebral” version as the best bet for the White House.

This from the man who lost his bid to the presidency by saying stupid shit. See, these Ph.Ds are always looking at ways to sound intelligent on every thing they do. They overreach in areas in which they are not competent because “I’m a doctor”.

So enjoy your accolade from Mr. Smart Stupid. But you know, Trump should flick this flea off, he’s dross like Sarah Palin. On the other hand, those are naturally his people.

Whatever. You all make me want to throw up.




Fuck This Motherfucking Fuck

I’m gonna have to pop a handful of Xanax before I get on the Internet. Because inevitably, there will be a story about the latest…intriguing thing that Ben Carson has said. And then I will get mad, and type bad words here because I don’t fucking believe that a person could be as full of shit as this asshole. Trump can’t touch this guy in the barking mad contest this GOP race has become. Here’s his latest evacuation:

Ben Carson, the Republican presidential candidate, said on Tuesday that victims of mass shootings should not be timid during attacks, imagining that if he were facing a raging gunman, “I would not just stand there and let him shoot me.”

“I would say: ‘Hey, guys, everybody attack him! He may shoot me, but he can’t get us all,’” Mr. Carson, a conservative who has been rising in recent polls, said.

Oooooh! Fuck you! You would pee your fucking pants if someone suddenly whipped out a gun and started blasting in your vicinity! You couldn’t lead a trail of ants to a picnic! You know how I know this, doc? Because you are normal. Not only that, but you have the vim of a sonnambulist. I don’t buy you as the difference maker at all. No one sane would.

You think Ben Carson is done being a god-damned fuckhead asshole yet? Nope.

In a question-and-answer session on Facebook this week, he explained that two of his cousins had been killed in the streets and that as a doctor he had to remove many bullets from bodies. Despite the breathtaking nature of such violence, he said, curbing the right to bear arms is not a real solution.

“I never saw a body with bullet holes that was more devastating than taking the right to arm ourselves away,” Mr. Carson wrote.

Are you trying to process this shit? Because I can’t. People mowed down in the most innocent times of their lives, and you yawn, unbothered. You haven’t seen enough bodies, asshole. And they’re piling up in fucked up numbers.

I don’t think I’ve sworn on this blog as much as I have in this post. This guy is the pits, awful, terrible, lying, posturing, foolish, everything that we should all stand against as good citizens, but 45% of the population could conceivably eat this bowl of bullshit up in a general. Amazing.

More Fuck Ben Carson

I can appreciate someone who tries to tread into unfamiliar territory while learning someone else’s culture. We should all stretch a little to expand our knowledge of the greater world around us.

But I have a real problem with using these little bits of knowledge to disparage those cultures.

Ben Carson has learned a new word. Oh, he already fancies himself a keen scholar on ‘Shari’a’. All conservatives shit their pants when the specter of Islamic law looms, threatening to take over our justice system. Believing this is lunacy and reeks of kneejerk bigotry. If you are here, you are bound by our laws, and no court anywhere is going to adjudicate based on the principles of your religion. Just won’t happen(although I do worry about raving Christians like Judge Moore who happily barf their beliefs up into their courtrooms). But try to tell that to a con.

Ben, expert on Islam such as he is, wants to tell us about “taqiyya”.

In an interview with The Hill after his “Meet The Press” appearance, Carson repeatedly brought up the concept of “taqiyya,” a concept in Shia Islamic law that’s historically given dispensation to Muslims to conceal their religion if they’re facing dangerous persecution. Carson defined the word as “a component of Shia that allows, and even encourages you to lie to achieve your goals.”

“Because obviously if a Muslim was running for president, there would be a lot more education about Sharia, about taqiyya,” Carson said.

Obviously. But there it is-Muslims can recant their faith if they are facing persecution. That simply isn’t the same as “lying” to people to serve some sinister purpose. Any sociopath can do this, let alone a Muslim. Hell, our whole foreign policy rests on lies like this. George W. Bush’s war, for example. We lied our asses off to get into Iraq so we could spread utter disorder, sell the country to the highest bidder, and provide oodles of contracts to Dick Cheney’s business associates.

It’s the same kind of bullshit that made “jihad” into a household word. Anyone who has done the slightest bit of research knows that jihad refers mainly to a struggle with oneself to be a good Muslim.

Ben Carson has clearly been instructed by the worst our media has to offer. He may be a good doctor, but he’s a shitty historian and anthropologist. I mean, fuck, why does he have any credibility regarding the mind of a Muslim? Has he even bothered to pick up a Koran? I guess he doesn’t need to, because his type of baseless demagoguery is what brings people in line with him.

How The Mighty Have Fallen

I used to think that PJ O’Rourke was one of the funniest writers going. I was in my conservative days, and so every satirical brickbat he threw was literary gold to me.

That was a long time ago. PJ doesn’t deliver like he used to. He’s been trying on the hat of punditry, and he still delivers the laughs. But the joke is on him these days. Dude, I hope you’re being funny here:

Ben Carson is brilliant and kind. Therefore, he has no business running for president.
There is nary a word to be said against Dr. Ben Carson. He is a soft-spoken gentleman of civilized refinement—broadly educated, highly skilled, widely accomplished, and universally respected.Ben Carson is a person who says what he thinks, hasn’t spent decades screwing the pooch in Washington or flying his ass from the media flagpole, and he isn’t friends with the pack rats running through the sewers of democracy.

He knows enough to talk about things when he knows what he’s talking about.

Dr. Carson, there is the matter of whether you’re good at politics. You are a good man.

Dr. Carson, it’s time to take this campaign of yours off life support. If it’s any comfort, this will make us political pundits, or at least the few of us who are still conjoined to our consciences, feel better.

His hackneyed premise is that Ben Carson is too wise a man to be in politics. What to make of this? O’Rourke’s been dry humping his “all politicians are scum” shtick since Parliament of Whores. Is PJ not getting enough attention that he needs to write an absurd contrarian piece of dogshit to keep off of food stamps? Any objective observation about Ben Carson identifies him to be a know-nothing and a goddamn fool. O’Rourke can’t be serious, can he? He has shown in the past that he can have an eagle eye for bullshit in politics. But to say that Ben Carson is cooked tells us that O’Rourke isn’t paying attention at all. Carson’s next in line for the royal treatment from the crazies. His star is on the rise while PJ thinks he’s on a fool’s errand. I will agree with him there. But this ass-licking article is electronic trash. He’ll garner a few clicks, but most people will eviscerate him for being utterly unaware of what he is doing. I just can’t believe that PJ O’Rourke has been reduced to unreflective, uninformed shilling.

Hey PJ, why don’t you take your own advice? Conclude that you are too good for punditry and go away.

Let’s Play “I Don’t Know The Constituion”

I have been up for about a half hour and already Ben Carson has pissed me off:

Carson said he would not support a Muslim president and that only candidates with a faith “consistent with the Constitution” should be President.

CHUCK TODD: Let me wrap this up by finally dealing with what’s been going on, rich asshole, and a deal with a questioner that claimed that the president was Muslim. Let me ask you the question this way. Should a President’s faith matter? Should your faith matter to voters?

BEN CARSON: Well, I guess it depends on what that faith is. If it’s inconsistent with the values and principles of America, then of course it should matter. But if it fits within the realm of America and consistent with the constitution, no problem.

TODD: So do you believe that Islam is consistent with the constitution?

CARSON: No, I don’t, I do not.

TODD: So you–

CARSON: I would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation. I absolutely would not agree with that.

Please read the motherfucking document that you’re so in love with:

The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.

Either Ben Carson can’t read(unlikely), or he just doesn’t know the highest law in this land. I can’t quote it chapter and verse, but even I can flag an egregious violation before my second cup of coffee. Cons only wave the Constitution around when they want to be bigots or own an arsenal of firearms. The rest of it is like so much toilet paper when they’re done with it.

This privileged fuck should thank his lucky stars that it is 2015, not 1815. Because I imagine that people were saying the same things about blacks.

Brain Dead Surgeon

Conservatives have a real taste for the stupid. Look at Donald Trump, for example. The man makes up shit, insults everyone he can, and has no policy ambitions beyond things being “amazing”, “great”, or “the best” were he president.  This is all you have to do to be a GOP frontrunner. And Trumpism has had a cascading effect on the campaigns running behind him. They’re all trying to outdo each other in the dumb department.

Now, I am not saying that the candidates would behave any better if he was not in the race. Some other clown prince would man the helm if a Trump-like figure had not emerged. Consider the bone John McCain had to throw conservatives in 2008 by choosing dingaling Sarah Palin to be his running mate. Remember how many dunderheads climbed to the top of the GOP pack in 2012 only to crash and burn, clearing the way for bland Mitt Romney to win the nomination. There is plenty of precedent for right-wing voters choosing the most moronic blithering idiots they can find before settling for less than. I still think the road will be clear enough for Jeb! soon enough even though he can’t seem to get much traction-why this is I can’t tell you, because he’s a polite version of everything that is wrong with modern conservatism. Like McCain, he’s a “RINO” because he’s not as much as a demagogue than the rest of them. So he’ll have to wait until this gaggle of dimwits sloughs off a few members.

The next flavor of the month once Trump flames out (and he will), is going to be the good doctor Ben Carson. He’s this cycle’s Herman Cain-black, successful, with no experience whatsoever in the political arena. And like Cain, he has no idea what he’s talking about 24/7. He’s an idiot savant of the highest order. And I think he’s having an “Uzbeki-beki-stan” moment, showing no grasp on geography or foreign affairs. Let’s take a look:

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson said Sunday that the United States has to be careful about letting Syrian refugees into the country because some might be like the terrorists behind the Boston Marathon bombing.

“I would recognize that bringing in people from the Middle East right now carries extra danger,” Carson said on ABC’s “This Week.” “I know we have a process, but how effective is it? How does it, you know, let people like the Tsarnaev brothers in here?”

“We cannot put our people at risk because we’re trying to be politically correct,” he said.

I’ll put aside the fact that he’s suggesting that people from the Middle East are the only group that spawns terrorists. That alone makes his statements utterly detestable. But Ben puts a big cherry on this moron sundae; he thinks that the Boston bombers are from the Middle East. Kyrgystan is a former Russian province. They’re well north of the eastern tip of Afghanistan, which itself is not necessarily a Middle Eastern country. If Kryrgystan is Middle Eastern, so is fucking China and India.

Our acceptance of Syrian civil war refugees has nothing whatsoever to do with being “politically correct”, galoot. It has to do with basic human decency and having a deeper connection and commitment to the world around us. Only the lowest garbage fish could say we were doing this because we’re afraid to offend someone when we participate in such affairs.

Since we’re talking about it, let me be PC: Ben Carson is offensive, thoughtless and clueless. In other words, he’s inevitable.

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