Speak Easy

The Internet has a big jump on me, but I just thought I’d share my theory on why the entire Republican party is killing itself, just twisting and writhing in every direction to explain away Melania Trump’s remarkable ability to channel Michelle Obama word for word at the Cleveland convention last night.

It isn’t the fact that she, or whoever wrote the speech, stole. I just saw a couple of bits of Barack Obama channeling Deval Patrick when he was just a pup of a Democratic candidate for president. Lord knows every spin machine the Republican organization has running flashed BIDEN BIDEN BIDEN when they got the unfortunate news that they had a cribber on their side. We are not clean whatsoever, we liberals, from the stain of poor scholarship.

It’s really about Michelle Obama and what she stands for. Who she stands for.

Michelle Obama, you see, is a liberal. That is what is killing them-that a Democrat may have authored part of a Republican’s speech.

Icky! Gross.

For as long as I can remember, the Republican party, if they are anything at all, are the party of values. Family values. Patriotic values. Traditional breadbasket of America religious values. If they could apply for a patent on the definition, they would have. No one has a monopoly on the values racket quite the way the GOP does. Without the patina of moral superiority, the modern Republican party might not survive-because all you have left then is a bunch of poor suckers helping rich people help themselves to the public largesse in the hopes that they too will someday be wealthy. Capitalism alone won’t bring home the wins. Values, prudish self-righteous convictions are key.

My point is that this scandal is sickening them because of the source of the plagiarized material. An abortion-eating Islamic devil worshipper like Michelle Obama can’t possibly have a thing to say when it comes to capital V values! That is where the true bitterness about this scandal really lies. Melania Trump, if you listen to her, is all air-just like her husband-but she made the mistake of being pumped up by the rousing speech of a dirty libtard school lunch policing ape socialist Muslim. All the horrible shit you want to think…that’s what is buoying the Republican response to Melania being caught mouthing Democratic words. They despise the story because of the origin of her speech. Had she been snagged lifting a Republican homily, I think the discourse would change a bit. It would be easier to blame the media. It would be easier to accept her plagiarism if it was coming from her side of the ledger. It would be far less embarrassing if she had lifted from David Duke or Lyndon LaRouche. She brought the stink of democracy with her. That is what they cannot abide.

I’d like to give an honorable mention to someone I have typed many nasty words about. His spin on this, however demented, is almost what you could call “nice”. I’m talking about Ben Carson. He hit me in the heart with this:

“Well, I think what we should be thinking about is if Melania’s speech is similar to Michelle Obama’s speech, that should make us all very happy because we should be saying, whether we’re Democrats or Republicans, we share the same values,” the retired neurosurgeon and former Republican presidential candidate told reporters. “That’s what we should be talking about. Not trying to make it into a controversy.”

That’s about as genuine of an emotion that you will get coming from the hot mess that is all things Republican. Savor it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About The Head Seminarian

I might be the nicest person you'll ever meet, but if you don't believe me, that is because I hate you. I went to war, I went to father, I came, I saw, and it is a mess. I wouldn't have it any other way. Shitty people amuse me, people who act like human volcanoes fascinate me like fine art. Life is beautiful, and it is under attack in a manner heretofore unseen in history. I came to remind you of this, not make it worse. I might be writing a blog. Yes, that's all I am doing, now that I think about it. If you have a bad memory, you will forget this. Even I forget sometimes, so we're cool.

Posted on July 19, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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