Category Archives: Tucker Carlson
I seem to be hitting a little speedbump in titling screeds about Tucker Carlson and how much of an asshole he is. So I twisted a Pet Shop Boys lyric a little, in part because that’s what I thought they were saying all these years after MTV brought them to me.
So. Bill O’ Reilly is gone, leaving a huge vacuum in the Fox universe, one waiting to be filled by some other conservative apologist and railer against any kind of change in the world. Enter Tucker Carlson. Now, I expect Bill O’ Reilly to pine for the days of white yore. He was old. Tucker, on the other hand, is only a few years older than I am. The “things aren’t how they used to be” bitching doesn’t work coming from him, there’s just an inescapable inauthenticity in his shtick.
Basically, he’s full of shit. I am unsure that he is aware of this. Either Fox told him to imitate O’ Reilly or he’s a cranky geezer in a 48 year old body that thinks anything old must be good. Here’s Tucker, defending fucking Christopher Columbus, with the disingenuousness turned up to 11 as usual:
You can parse all that bullshit for yourself, if you like. I haven’t the time nor the inclination to stop and start this half-assed Gish Gallop of nonsense. Sorry.
So-it’s a war on “the West”, eh, Tucker? Fuck you. You and I know that’s just doublespeak for white European culture, which Carlson thinks is the only thing that has helped all of the mud people in the world walk on two legs and read a Bible.
This is all very amusing coming from the right wing, who hates an actual victim but being a pretend one is A-OK.
“Reason, tolerance, free inquiry – those are Western civilization’s central gifts to the world”, he says, after taking a dump on any type of inquiry that doesn’t genuflect to traditional thinking.
I know he thinks he’s cute and clever. I’m guessing his smarmy, smug, face-punchable act is going over well with the AARP demographic who is happy to see that some young people were brought up right. Fortunately, the trend of education and knowledge in today’s young folks is heading the opposite way, learning real tolerance and out-of-the-box thinking, and we know that because of the proliferation of simpletons like Tucker coming to the rescue the indefensible in our history. Conservatives are scared and confused because they live a lie. They have their own universe in which nothing needs to change, buttressed by an information stream replete with assholes who keep the comfortable lies fresh, fresh as if they were something new.