Daily Archives: March 3, 2009

Alan Keyes Is Making…The Muttering Homeless Sound Like Rhodes Scholars

What’s more radical, a man who borrows to invest, or a man who thinks that civil war is coming?

Didja see that? Keyes claims Obama is a “radical communist”. He’s not just a communist, he’s a communist +1.  I think even Ann Coulter might have blushed at the suggestion.

To my amazement, Keyes is not just another right-wing blitherer. Motherfucker has a PhD in government affairs. Evidently, while jerking off to the Federalist papers, he may have missed some tiny details about communism… like, all of them. Even a self-taught schmo like me knows what communism is and what it is not.

Communism is…not socialism.

Communism is…not what the Russians, nor the Chinese, nor Cuba has practiced.

Communism is not…free education, free healthcare, or regulated business.

Communism is…and always will be, a nonexistent social system hatched in Frederich Engels’ basement, and never left the nest.

Ergo: Alan Keyes is the living embodiment of the adage that dumb-asses that go to school can still leave the school as dumb-asses. He also produces a corollary to another saw- that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.  Alot of knowledge is quite harmless.

None of the talking head wingnuts I’ve seen will embarrass themselves into going on record calling someone a communist. They have no problem with the S-word, but they will not take to the microphone sounding like HUAC on paint thinner.

But let’s talk about that S-word. Is Obama a socialist? No, he’s a Democrat, last time I checked his party affiliation. Are some new Obama policies socialistic? Yes. Is that a big deal? Nope. At the risk of sounding pedantic, socialism is not a big ‘S’ idea. And democracy is not a big ‘D’ word, and capitalism is not capitalized.

Observe: Baskin Robbins has 31 flavors. Now Baskin-Robbins is definitely one thing-an ice-cream purveyor; but if you look carefully through the plexiglass, you’ll note subtle differences in the types of ice cream offered. That’s important to remember, because the teenager at the counter will look at you like you have a dozen dicks shooting out of the top of your head if you just tell him you want ice cream. People behind you will wonder if you have had a concussion, or perhaps think you are a feral man-child who wandered into the suburbs.

So it goes with forms of government. I always enjoy pointing people here when they use the word socialism as if we were suddenly going to become soviets by executive order, screaming for ice-cream as it were. If you think that’s interesting, this will blow your black-and-white brain through the ceiling!

Something is new every day under the sun, ain’t it? Now go forth and speak of Alan Keyes as a real intellectual no more. If somehow you are not convinced of his batshit quotient, or just need a hearty laugh, please go here and look at the army of the (brain) dead he has assembled.

These people walk among you. Beware.

Beware.

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