Monthly Archives: September 2015

Oh Well, The Romance Couldn’t Last Forever

As popes go, Francis is a good egg. But the fact is that he is still a religious person, and therefore believes in some very stupid things.

He’s taken the side of Kim Davis. Here you go:

Speaking to reporters on his flight home, he was asked about Christian ‘martyrs’  including Davis who claim to be ‘persecuted’ for their actions.

He said: “Conscientious objection must enter into every juridical structure because it is a right.

 “I can’t have in mind all cases that can exist about conscientious objection but, yes, I can say that conscientious objection is a right that is a part of every human right.

“And if someone does not allow others to be a conscientious objector, he denies a right.”

Conscientious objectors are civilians who refuse to serve in the military during a time of war, if we want to be picky. Those already serving don’t have access to this. Neither does Kim Davis. And what about the rights of the prospective partners? As far as I know Francis is silent on that.

I like this guy, in general. But as has been rumored, he’s not much more progressive than say, a Pope John Paul. Most, if not all of our recent pontiffs, believe in the dignity of all humans and that we are getting awful greedy in a world where billions starve and the few fart through silk. The pope is right on that the world can be rendered uninhabitable if we don’t watch ourselves. Maybe I won’t go to hell very long for being an atheist. These things are nice to hear. But it doesn’t make Francis one of us. He’s still head of a dysfunctional, antedated institution and he will probably not change Catholicism’s(or Christianity’s for that matter) biggest weaknesses. As a non-believer, I am the ultimate Protestant. There’s a gulf that we will not broach.

Sorry Francis, Kim Davis blows and so does your take on the matter.

No More Tears

Real quick about John Boehner:

He was a piece of shit speaker and an utterly unwilling participant in the fight for the general welfare of this country. He blocked progress, sued the president, and generally stood in the way of any initiative that the Democrats espoused. He was one of the biggest asshole “leaders” that my mind can remember.

So why was he ousted as Speaker(and let’s call it that because it was probably inevitable)?

Well, you know that old phrase-the average person is dumb. By logic, half of those are even dumber than that. So it goes with John Boehner. He was a fucker and a half, but not fuckheaded enough for the far-right wing of his party. It amazes me that Boehner could not pass the purity test. The way Republican politics works astounds me. All you have to do is give one iota to the other side and you are doomed. And John Boehner gave very little. Christ, did they not notice that he helped try to repeal Obamacare about 50 times? He did everything he could to monkeywrench our government.

And this is the thanks he gets. Boehner, above all, is tired. I would be too if I had to operate under those political conditions as well.

More Fuck Ben Carson

I can appreciate someone who tries to tread into unfamiliar territory while learning someone else’s culture. We should all stretch a little to expand our knowledge of the greater world around us.

But I have a real problem with using these little bits of knowledge to disparage those cultures.

Ben Carson has learned a new word. Oh, he already fancies himself a keen scholar on ‘Shari’a’. All conservatives shit their pants when the specter of Islamic law looms, threatening to take over our justice system. Believing this is lunacy and reeks of kneejerk bigotry. If you are here, you are bound by our laws, and no court anywhere is going to adjudicate based on the principles of your religion. Just won’t happen(although I do worry about raving Christians like Judge Moore who happily barf their beliefs up into their courtrooms). But try to tell that to a con.

Ben, expert on Islam such as he is, wants to tell us about “taqiyya”.

In an interview with The Hill after his “Meet The Press” appearance, Carson repeatedly brought up the concept of “taqiyya,” a concept in Shia Islamic law that’s historically given dispensation to Muslims to conceal their religion if they’re facing dangerous persecution. Carson defined the word as “a component of Shia that allows, and even encourages you to lie to achieve your goals.”

“Because obviously if a Muslim was running for president, there would be a lot more education about Sharia, about taqiyya,” Carson said.

Obviously. But there it is-Muslims can recant their faith if they are facing persecution. That simply isn’t the same as “lying” to people to serve some sinister purpose. Any sociopath can do this, let alone a Muslim. Hell, our whole foreign policy rests on lies like this. George W. Bush’s war, for example. We lied our asses off to get into Iraq so we could spread utter disorder, sell the country to the highest bidder, and provide oodles of contracts to Dick Cheney’s business associates.

It’s the same kind of bullshit that made “jihad” into a household word. Anyone who has done the slightest bit of research knows that jihad refers mainly to a struggle with oneself to be a good Muslim.

Ben Carson has clearly been instructed by the worst our media has to offer. He may be a good doctor, but he’s a shitty historian and anthropologist. I mean, fuck, why does he have any credibility regarding the mind of a Muslim? Has he even bothered to pick up a Koran? I guess he doesn’t need to, because his type of baseless demagoguery is what brings people in line with him.

Bye, Asshole

I’ll miss making fun of him.

How The Mighty Have Fallen

I used to think that PJ O’Rourke was one of the funniest writers going. I was in my conservative days, and so every satirical brickbat he threw was literary gold to me.

That was a long time ago. PJ doesn’t deliver like he used to. He’s been trying on the hat of punditry, and he still delivers the laughs. But the joke is on him these days. Dude, I hope you’re being funny here:

Ben Carson is brilliant and kind. Therefore, he has no business running for president.
There is nary a word to be said against Dr. Ben Carson. He is a soft-spoken gentleman of civilized refinement—broadly educated, highly skilled, widely accomplished, and universally respected.Ben Carson is a person who says what he thinks, hasn’t spent decades screwing the pooch in Washington or flying his ass from the media flagpole, and he isn’t friends with the pack rats running through the sewers of democracy.

He knows enough to talk about things when he knows what he’s talking about.

Dr. Carson, there is the matter of whether you’re good at politics. You are a good man.

Dr. Carson, it’s time to take this campaign of yours off life support. If it’s any comfort, this will make us political pundits, or at least the few of us who are still conjoined to our consciences, feel better.

His hackneyed premise is that Ben Carson is too wise a man to be in politics. What to make of this? O’Rourke’s been dry humping his “all politicians are scum” shtick since Parliament of Whores. Is PJ not getting enough attention that he needs to write an absurd contrarian piece of dogshit to keep off of food stamps? Any objective observation about Ben Carson identifies him to be a know-nothing and a goddamn fool. O’Rourke can’t be serious, can he? He has shown in the past that he can have an eagle eye for bullshit in politics. But to say that Ben Carson is cooked tells us that O’Rourke isn’t paying attention at all. Carson’s next in line for the royal treatment from the crazies. His star is on the rise while PJ thinks he’s on a fool’s errand. I will agree with him there. But this ass-licking article is electronic trash. He’ll garner a few clicks, but most people will eviscerate him for being utterly unaware of what he is doing. I just can’t believe that PJ O’Rourke has been reduced to unreflective, uninformed shilling.

Hey PJ, why don’t you take your own advice? Conclude that you are too good for punditry and go away.

Let’s Play “I Don’t Know The Constituion”

I have been up for about a half hour and already Ben Carson has pissed me off:

Carson said he would not support a Muslim president and that only candidates with a faith “consistent with the Constitution” should be President.

CHUCK TODD: Let me wrap this up by finally dealing with what’s been going on, rich asshole, and a deal with a questioner that claimed that the president was Muslim. Let me ask you the question this way. Should a President’s faith matter? Should your faith matter to voters?

BEN CARSON: Well, I guess it depends on what that faith is. If it’s inconsistent with the values and principles of America, then of course it should matter. But if it fits within the realm of America and consistent with the constitution, no problem.

TODD: So do you believe that Islam is consistent with the constitution?

CARSON: No, I don’t, I do not.

TODD: So you–

CARSON: I would not advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation. I absolutely would not agree with that.

Please read the motherfucking document that you’re so in love with:

The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States.

Either Ben Carson can’t read(unlikely), or he just doesn’t know the highest law in this land. I can’t quote it chapter and verse, but even I can flag an egregious violation before my second cup of coffee. Cons only wave the Constitution around when they want to be bigots or own an arsenal of firearms. The rest of it is like so much toilet paper when they’re done with it.

This privileged fuck should thank his lucky stars that it is 2015, not 1815. Because I imagine that people were saying the same things about blacks.


Knuckle-draggers should love this chum from Jeb Bush:

In an interview with the Union Leader, aspiring 2016 Republican presidential nominee Jeb Bush took a slap at the foreign policies of President Barack Obama, stating that the leader of the  free world uses too many big words and wastes his time at conferences with world leaders instead of forging ahead.

In video captured by C-SPAN, Bush criticized the White House’s nuclear negotiations with Iran calling it, “the Clinton-Kerry-Obama foreign policy playing out.”

“You don’t have to be the world’s policemen, but you have to be the world’s leader and there’s a huge difference,” Bush explained. “This guy — this president and Secretary Clinton and Secretary Kerry – when someone disagrees with their nuanced approach where it’s all kind of so sophisticated it makes no sense. You know what I’m saying?”

Bush continued, “Big syllable words and lots of fancy conferences and meetings and – We’re not leading. That creates chaos. It creates a more dangerous world. So restoring the alliances that have kept the world safer and our country safer – getting back to a position in the Middle East where there’s no light between Israel and the United States.”

You have to be the world’s leader. Who says, Jeb? There’s a lot of people on this blue ball who wish we could go away. And what could one possibly have against a comprehensive and complex understanding of today’s challenges? It’s that bad a thing to be smart? And fuck you muchly for using the “this president” line, I think we know what you want to say when you say that. And I’ll be damned if I could tell you how a relationship with one of the most controversial countries in the world could be considered one that makes us safer. In point of fact, our relationship with Israel has pissed off 1/5 of the globe, so I don’t know what the fuck Bush is talking about here.

I expect this kind of stupidity from Scott Walker. But I guess I am going to have to lower my expectations for Bush even further. Down, down the rabbit hole we go.

Brain Dead Surgeon

Conservatives have a real taste for the stupid. Look at Donald Trump, for example. The man makes up shit, insults everyone he can, and has no policy ambitions beyond things being “amazing”, “great”, or “the best” were he president.  This is all you have to do to be a GOP frontrunner. And Trumpism has had a cascading effect on the campaigns running behind him. They’re all trying to outdo each other in the dumb department.

Now, I am not saying that the candidates would behave any better if he was not in the race. Some other clown prince would man the helm if a Trump-like figure had not emerged. Consider the bone John McCain had to throw conservatives in 2008 by choosing dingaling Sarah Palin to be his running mate. Remember how many dunderheads climbed to the top of the GOP pack in 2012 only to crash and burn, clearing the way for bland Mitt Romney to win the nomination. There is plenty of precedent for right-wing voters choosing the most moronic blithering idiots they can find before settling for less than. I still think the road will be clear enough for Jeb! soon enough even though he can’t seem to get much traction-why this is I can’t tell you, because he’s a polite version of everything that is wrong with modern conservatism. Like McCain, he’s a “RINO” because he’s not as much as a demagogue than the rest of them. So he’ll have to wait until this gaggle of dimwits sloughs off a few members.

The next flavor of the month once Trump flames out (and he will), is going to be the good doctor Ben Carson. He’s this cycle’s Herman Cain-black, successful, with no experience whatsoever in the political arena. And like Cain, he has no idea what he’s talking about 24/7. He’s an idiot savant of the highest order. And I think he’s having an “Uzbeki-beki-stan” moment, showing no grasp on geography or foreign affairs. Let’s take a look:

Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson said Sunday that the United States has to be careful about letting Syrian refugees into the country because some might be like the terrorists behind the Boston Marathon bombing.

“I would recognize that bringing in people from the Middle East right now carries extra danger,” Carson said on ABC’s “This Week.” “I know we have a process, but how effective is it? How does it, you know, let people like the Tsarnaev brothers in here?”

“We cannot put our people at risk because we’re trying to be politically correct,” he said.

I’ll put aside the fact that he’s suggesting that people from the Middle East are the only group that spawns terrorists. That alone makes his statements utterly detestable. But Ben puts a big cherry on this moron sundae; he thinks that the Boston bombers are from the Middle East. Kyrgystan is a former Russian province. They’re well north of the eastern tip of Afghanistan, which itself is not necessarily a Middle Eastern country. If Kryrgystan is Middle Eastern, so is fucking China and India.

Our acceptance of Syrian civil war refugees has nothing whatsoever to do with being “politically correct”, galoot. It has to do with basic human decency and having a deeper connection and commitment to the world around us. Only the lowest garbage fish could say we were doing this because we’re afraid to offend someone when we participate in such affairs.

Since we’re talking about it, let me be PC: Ben Carson is offensive, thoughtless and clueless. In other words, he’s inevitable.

White Light

I’ve spent lots of time chronically lambasting the dumbshits in the GOP field. It’s a full time job, one which I have less time to do it because I will be starting a full-time job that pays money. I’m going to have to save some of my invective and curtail bashing only the frontrunners, not the sad losers who can barely break 5%.

I’m not going to do a number on Donald Trump, though. He’s a fucking lunatic, and I’m enjoying the hell out of his campaign. I don’t think Trumpmania will survive the winter.

Next in line is Ben Carson. I’ve called this asshole out on many occasions here. Mr. Smart Stupid is the next candidate the right will swoon over. Expect more spew in his direction here.

But I wanna get one more jab in at the hopeless. Let’s kick Rand Paul around. He’ll be lucky if he can save his Senate seat with the way he’s been acting. Here’s some choice Paul, commenting on the immigrant problem, somehow managing to insult Native Americans in the process:

“I think assimilation is an amazing thing. A good example of how, even in our country, assimilation didn’t happen — and it has been a disaster for the people — has been the Native American population on the reservations. If they were assimilated, within a decade they’d probably be doing as well as the rest of us. But instead, seclusion and isolating them — we took their land, and then we put them all on small quadrants of land.”

I really think that someone should watch “Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee” to comprehend what “assimilation” means with respect to Native Americans. We broke them. We took everything by force. We sickened them and murdered them without provocation. It had fuckall to do with a refusal to assimilate. They were going to do it whether they liked it or not. Our Indians are still suffering the effects of whitey’s domination of the West. They liked their culture. But we were having none of it. It scared us.

Rand Paul is a thoughtless cad. He’s trying to equate the destruction of native culture with our Mexican population problem. They are not alike at all. Our illegals would probably like to “assimilate” but that doesn’t mean we get to destroy their cultural identity, like we did with Indians.

What are we so afraid of? What the hell is so important that we should denigrate and demean our new wave of immigrants? It is, sadly, their turn in the barrel. Every immigrant population was shat upon when they arrived. This kind of nativism needs to be stopped. Rand Paul is a fuckball for stoking the fear of our new Other. What happened to him? Where’s his vaunted libertarianism? Isn’t it the free market that brings these people? Time for John S. Hall and company:

Confidence Man

I had to do a double-take on this. I wasn’t sure it was real:

Ben “Mookie” Thomas, a former Navy Seal and spokesman for Spike’s Tactical gunsplains that he wanted a rifle that no devout Muslim would touch.

The AR-15 assault rifle is laser-etched on one side with a Knights Templar Long Cross – a symbol of the Christian Crusades to reclaim the Holy Land from Muslims – and Psalm 144:1 on the other side: “Blessed be the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.”

“Off the cuff I said I’d like to have a gun that if a Muslim terrorist picked it up a bolt of lightning would hit and knock him dead,” Mookie said.

I love the fact that someone can have a semi-automatic rifle and act like he’s 8 years old. Lightning bolts? Is that supposed to be funny?

Real terrorists won’t give a flying fuck about the inscription. A good bit of them can only read Arabic. And they don’t care what it says even if they could-does it shoot? Do I have ammo for it? These are questions that an actual Muslim terrorist would ask if he somehow got hold of one before he went about his business of frightening civilians.

…it has three nifty settings on the safety selector: “Peace,” “War” and “God Wills It.

Christ, he sounds like a terrorist, doesn’t he? But this piker really isn’t interesting in killing Mooslims. In the grand old American tradition, it’s just a money-making scheme:

You can pick up one of Mookie’s Christian weapons for $1,395.

I took a look around to see what your standard AR-15 costs. About $800-1000. So that’s a nice markup for some bullshit.

New profiles in Christianity. I feel the love, don’t you?

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