Category Archives: Terrorism

Russian Things

This will not be a post about how much trouble the president is in.

Let’s instead remember that a bling pig finds a truffle now and then, even when that pig is named Donald Trump. And that motherfucker is never right, so I’m gonna post about it when he is, in spite of himself.

It feels weird, not wanting to pounce on something dumb Orange Caligula does. His track record is so bad that I think we’ve all gotten a little used to reflexively criticizing the harebrained decisions he makes. If you were a bettor, and Trump was a racehorse and being wrong was the finish line, you would be leaving the track with your pockets overflowing every day that ends in Y if you plunked down something on him.

I am not working my way up to complimenting him. But he has stumbled into the right choice on Syria, Putin stooge or no Putin stooge.

I’m not perfect, and my views evolve as anyone’s should when he or she is off the mark (or dead fucking wrong as is sometimes the case). I have found that I have come off as something of a neocon in the not distant past, trying to think from a realpolitik perspective when it comes to our warmaking, particularly regarding Syria. I complimented Trump when he bombed Syrian assets in 2017, largely because the fledgling administration wasn’t doing anything except setting fire to anything Barack Obama signed. For four straight months I watched Trump do nothing constructive or remotely interesting; he was as much a paper tiger as he is now, just a fucking useless gum-flapper. For example, I will be genuinely surprised if he finds his balls and takes personal responsibility for turning the lights off on part of the government until he gets his stupid wall funding. Then there was the time I took Ralph Peters’ side on tangling with Russia because I needed an opportunity to call Tucker Carlson an asshole when he said we should be nice to Putin because he kills “the terrorists” in Syria-using that dumb logic of we need to fight them over there so they don’t come here. My calculation was if we don’t fill the vacuum, Russia would.

When it comes to international relations in the modern era, I have had a tendency to view it as a zero-sum game. Why?

Because it’s easy. Reality, however, is not so two-dimensional. I know I thought I was being clever, even if I had to be wrong to do so. Hey, fuck it, there’s plenty of people being paid and feted for being fucking wrong all the time.

But I ought to know better. I have seen firsthand what a just war looks like. As it happens, it is very much what an unjust war looks like. I went into Iraq in 2003 a firm believer in our mission and left a year later quite disillusioned the more I reflected and interacted with the people we were “liberating”. We drove a whole generation of American soldiers insane in the service of realpolitik and papered-over binary thinking about what we were doing there. War made us monsters, not saviors.

The bottom line is there are no real winners in war, and I ought to know that by now. Let this be the ground I shall plant myself in henceforth. And I shall start by being happy that Trump accidentally did something right by calling back the 2,000 or so Americans home from Syria, which is in an intractable civil war right now and looks to stay that way for the foreseeable future whether we are there are not-because we’re only dipping our toes in the conflict, just enough to annoy and stymie the Russians and Bashar Al-Assad. Now there is doubt that Trump will back up his mouth with some actual action, since he tweeted his decision without consultation with anyone familiar with a rifle and possessed with functioning grey matter. The pretext for Trump’s sudden exit from Syria, if you ask him, is that we have defeated ISIS. That’s hilarious, of course, if you ask the resistance. The “mission” ain’t accomplished by a long shot.

Now, I think that Trumpian nationalism is typically odious in the extreme, but honestly, leaving a warzone because we don’t need to “police” the world is by far not the worst thing ever uttered by an American politician. And it’s driving hawks apoplectic, which can only bear good fruit. Most of Trump’s detractors use the same logic I have in the past, that when the Russians win, we lose. The reality we are living in is at bottom a race for resources. We don’t give a fuck about Syria or Syrians, because absent from Donald’s declarations was a desire to settle refugees from the war. I certainly don’t think Trump is deep enough to be a tactician in the new cold war, and maybe that’s not to our detriment in regards to international conflict. A bit of naivete in the ways of violence is…OK.

I just can’t be moved to pile on Trump for this, even though there’s a lot wrong with the thinking that led him to leave Syria be. But let’s not kid ourselves. Our bombs don’t have freedom dust in them. Our reasons for staying there are not sound; the Kurds are already accustomed to everyone’s Janus tendencies towards them. Russia will still strafe and bomb and kill indiscriminately like they are doing now (just as we have done). And what for? A chit with Iran? We have Iraq. How about we take a rest from imperialism? Besides, it’s not like we are going to stop selling arms to our erstwhile allies. Point is, aligning the world in a binary fashion the way we do is exactly what causes world wars. We think we are wetting the fuse with our aggression by fighting the Russian axis wherever we go. Sorry. We’re shortening it.

Our fucktarded president is in quite a legal pickle. Several, in fact. It’s turning out he owes a lot to Vladimir Putin, and stepping out of Syria may yet be one more favor to someone who can crush him with kompromat. But I’m going to take the peace dividends where I can get them. I’m not going to call the president out for not wanting to be in a war anymore. Perhaps if you knew what it was like, you too would reluctantly agree with the basket-case-in-chief. If you don’t, use your fucking imagination.



Orange Julius Caesar

I honestly thought that I was going to be able to stop writing about Donald Trump for a minute there. But it’s hard to ignore a global terrorist.

Now what do I mean by that?

The position of President of The United States is not merely the head of the American system of government. When we emerged victorious from World War Two over the Axis powers and stabbed Stalin in the back, we created two distinct spheres of influence on the globe-Russian and the American-and both countries have been struggling back and forth to expand theirs for the last 70 years or so without nuking us commoners to kingdom come. We call the American president the “leader of the free world” and we use our considerable military superiority to place more countries under our protection racket. In a nutshell, what the president does in no small part is manage an empire of fiefdoms and clients, often far from our shores to ensure our primacy upon the globe in addition to executing our laws.

Some of you thought Donald Trump had the CV for that job. You reasoned that a businessman was going to be good at managing an empire. There’s an element of common sense in that. Politicians don’t have the best record in the game of looking out for our interests. I understand.

What you didn’t realize is that Donald Trump is a fairly shitty (some would certainly add shady) businessman. You had many opportunities to know that, and you failed to do your due diligence. Trump is good at starting stuff, but isn’t much for finishing it. Sound familiar? It should. That’s Trump’s real fucking trademark if there is one-doing things half-assed. But anyway, he has worked very hard at trying to make his name a household word, one you can trust. Instead, it’s synonymous instead with “ripoff” and “corrupt”. Now I’m not a businessman, but Donald’s batting about .400 in terms of successful ventures. I’ll grant that list is impressive in terms of sheer ambition, but it means that more than half the time Donald doesn’t get it right even when the wind is at his back. We’re all a few bong rips away from a dozen business plans with our names on it, and I’m betting they would be better thought out than Trump Steaks. We just don’t have the access to capital for our dreams and follies and that is the difference between a regular American and a guy like Trump. He knows how to work the system and “win” even when he loses. Such is the way of the wealthy.

He’s also a fucking boorish, ultra-addled, perverse, spiteful, infantile, self-absorbed ex-playboy who is using the presidency to promote himself and his businesses in clear violation of the Constitution. A lot of you were into his act, all that MAGA horseshit and all the “winning” he was going to give you while not officially taking a dime to do so, and it will take the experts to explain to me why someday. I can only offer that the madness of crowds makes people do dumb things, even dangerous things. It’s much easier to be a terrible person in the midst of a mob. But you all should know by now that you got played. None of you pikers will “win” from a Trump presidency. In fact, a good bit of you are losing. Most of the old guard conservatives are coming to Jesus and television every day to tell you what a mistake letting a base miscreant like Donald Trump go on the ultimate power trip of being President of the United States was. He’s bad for the movement and they probably all know that Donald did everything he’s being investigated for and more. Hedging against Trump’s survival has good odds.

It was weird psychic voodoo that Trump cooked up for you. Now you all know I don’t give Trump any credit whatsoever for stumbling his way into the Oval Office. He is surely one of the stupidest creatures who has ever drawn breath in my lifetime. But he told you that you were in hell and you believed it. And only he knew the way to heaven and it worked like gangbusters.

It’s so strange to think of it sometimes. He’s a textbook demagogue that can’t fucking read. He’s a fascist totalitarian who can’t spell those words. I look for gods to thank that Donald isn’t terribly bright and sleep well knowing that he can’t run a con on everything in the government, try as he might, by larding it with comical flunkies and like minded maniacs, because the system was built to stop a president like Donald Trump (at least that’s what I tell myself when I want to sleep well). And he fires flunkies faster than he can hire them. Eventually if this pace of dismissal and resignation keeps up, the entire cabinet will be comprised of Donald Trump sockpuppets and perhaps Ivanka.

As of this writing, Trump has withdrawn from the Iran nuclear deal, claiming he can get a better one. Ha! I’d love it if someone in the press can ask him what was wrong with it in the first place and what improvements he wanted to make. But you and I know he doesn’t know, it’s just because that black bastard Obama signed it and that’s why Sarah Sanders is out there lying in his stead about her boss who turns everything he touches to shit. He’s also very proud that Israel claimed Jerusalem and sent kin and business to the grand opening, not mindful at all of the death and anguish brought about by this reckless choice. After all, they’re just A-rabs with the wrong god, the Middle Eastern version of the American Indians.

But take heart, other dealings are afoot. Uday may have done a little colludin’ and he’s not coughing up the identity of a caller while The Trump Tower Meeting took place. Also, Michael Cohen could be on the bad side of jail bars if we find out that he was taking money for favor with his boss. The pace of these developments is increasing. But we must sit tight and wait.

Wait. Just a little more.

It’s almost dawn.

The thread will be torn.

 

Midnight Creep

It’s rare for me to request that famous people shut their goddamn mouths. I do not understand the logic of people who refuse to entertain someone’s thoughts simply because they are well known. Laura Ingraham, late of sieg-heiling to Donald Trump at the RNC convention, wrote a whole book about the Jews liberals in Hollywood and how much she resents them sticking their hooked noses into politics because they’re so popular.

I guess the theory is that they skew the national conversation due to their star power. That may be true in a way, but I fail to see how this is a bad thing. If I had any measure of fame and I could do good by using my station and spare time to promote a cause I care about, you can bet that I would do it.

Her argument is shit-after all, Laura Ingraham is a popular radio host and author. She’s on TV too. Does that mean she now must shut up because she’s not ordinary? Of course not-at least not until the revolution and the reeducation camps. Point is, it doesn’t matter what you do. If you’re lucky enough to have a job that literally hands you a microphone, you take it and do something substantial with it.

Really, all Ingraham was bitching about is the arts in general because typically conservatives are some of the most artless fucks ever conceived. They have no imagination by default, and that is why they can only see the way things are or the way they have been as opposed to the way they could be. Celebrities create for a living, and that is why they lean naturally towards progressivism. Journalists are also largely liberal, being curious storytellers. The creative professions point the way to a better future, an end to things like hunger, injustice, war and all the other things left over from our cruel simian past that we would do well to get control of or there won’t be a planet left to dominate. Either that or they’re just ginning up some fun for us, and that is fine too.

It pains me to have to say that Jesse Hughes needs to shut the fuck up.

Stat.

For those of you who know some Jesse Hughes music, you are indeed saddened to find that he is a supersized asshole. Either that or he’s got mental problems, and I’ll address that.

This is Jesse at the height of his powers:

The record that came off of was one of the best fucking rock and roll discs to come out of the aughts. It was sexy, slinky, simple, perverse and it didn’t take itself seriously for one minute. The drummer is of some renown (and an asshole in his own right), but it’s Hughes’ delivery and stripped down playing that makes the Eagles Of Death Metal sound not like Queens Of The Stone Age. It was a debut I could and still can listen to all the way through, and that’s saying a lot given how hard it seems to be to make a long player that people want to keep playing.

Most of you should remember the massacre at the Bataclan theatre in 2015. A wave of violence swept across Paris, and while The Eagles were playing a gunmen sprayed fire and grenades upon the crowd, slaughtering almost 90 people including the Eagles’ merch manager. The band got separated during the attack but everyone was safe.

If I were Jesse Hughes or anyone in that theater, I would have developed post-traumatic shock disorder afterwards. And that is probably exactly what happened, with some caveats. In an interview Hughes admitted that he was haunted, but then went on a tirade about gun control in France, familiar refrains for gun lovers but perhaps coming from a place of deep personal grief and pain:

“Did your French gun control stop a single f–king person from dying at the Bataclan? And if anyone can answer ‘yes’, I’d like to hear it, because I don’t think so. I think the only thing that stopped it was some of the bravest men that I’ve ever seen in my life charging head-first into the face of death with their firearms.”

“I know people will disagree with me, but it just seems like God made men and women, and that night, guns made them equal. I think the only way that my mind has been changed is that maybe until nobody has guns everybody has to have them. Because I don’t ever want to see anything like this ever happen again and I want everyone to have the best chance to live and I saw people die that maybe could have lived.”

OK, I get it. But we all know that anytime guns are introduced into a situation, the potential for an accidental death increases. If we applied Hughes’ solution to the Bataclan attack, many more would have died in the chaos. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that some people were struck by “good guy” fire that night in a room thick with noncombatants. Furthermore, for as long as I can remember (and I was a pre-9/11 teen), most entertainment venues want you to be weapon-free because for one thing, alcohol and weapons mix poorly-and lastly, no one would know how to sort the good guys from the bad in the heat of the moment and so basically Jesse Hughes is an idiot for thinking it’s a swell idea for everyone to start packing at a crowded show.

But perhaps we should give him the benefit of the doubt, because he went through a harrowing experience and things said while still in shock are usually not coming from a good place.

However, there’s only so much I can give in the way of forbearance when he attacks children three years later for being angry too (in addition to being stricken with sadness) about their friends being gunned down at school because any lunatic in America can get an assault rifle in under a half-hour. The children of Parkland literally went through the same thing that Hughes did and instead of playing a benefit he shat on them and their dead friends on Instagram:

“Hughes’s verified account posted a cartoon equating gun control to cutting off one’s dick to prevent rape, paired with a caption slamming Parkland students as “pathetic,” “disgusting vile abusers of the dead” who took “multiple days off of school playing hooky at the expense of 16 of your classmates blood.”

Hughes posted a doctored photo of protest leader Emma González tearing apart a copy of the Constitution and called her, among other things, “the awful face of treason” and a “survivor of nothing.”

Wow. Think about that. A survivor of nothing? From Hughes? At this point I just gotta cut him loose, because now he’s just being a typical fucking stupid conservative dick. There is no daylight whatsoever between Gonzales’ experience and Hughes’, but one would think that Hughes was the child and Gonzalez the adult if you didn’t know who they were. Yesterday, Hughes scrubbed his social media, hopefully embarrassed and chastened but it’s more likely he’s worried about ticket and record sales.

It’s a fucking shame, because I liked his music even though I doubt he’ll never do anything like Peace Love Death Metal again. I’m done with him and his jerk bandmate, who represent the dregs of this paranoid, angry, nasty social experiment called the U.S.A. I’ll leave you with a couple of old eyeroll-worthy quotes from The Eagles’ principal members:

In a 2007 interview, bandmate Josh Homme stated “Jesse Hughes and I have a theory; we’re socially liberal but government conservative guys”. Hughes has also said “I wanted to be a Republican politician, for God sakes. I’m a conservative, dude.”

And I say to you both:

washing-hands.jpg.size-custom-crop.1086x0

Not another dime, fuckheads.

 

%d bloggers like this: