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Dashed Hopes

There’s been a rash of non-rational Hollywood has-beens who desperately need attention lately. But the award for biggest dumbshit goes to Stacey Dash, who is still beefing with Barack Obama even though he’s served 7.5 of his eight years. Stacey still thinks it’s 2009:

“We are more divided now than I’ve ever seen in my lifetime,” Dash told radio host Joe Pagliarulo while discussing Obama. “Because he doesn’t like the country.”

I keep hearing this shit about being “divided”. Oh, whatever. Dash is 5 years older than I am and ought to know that we have been “divided” for a long damn time. The last time we were “united” was when someone flew planes into two of America’s most iconic towers. Even I thought it a good idea to start kicking some asses for that stunt. But we’ve been a country that is close to 50/50 leftish and rightish for a good while. But anyway, I haven’t the foggiest idea what she means…I’d be happy to hear about how he divided us and furthermore explain why we require “unity”. That smacks of fascism. Speaking of…

“He’s an Islamic fascist, I believe.”

Oh. Muh. God. Still with this? Still? What is the point of making things up at this juncture? Stacey, he’ll be gone in 5 months. Once again, I am eager to know what Obama has done to get called a fascist.What has he done to earn that label? I got it; Stacey doesn’t know what real fascism looks like from her privileged, passing perch. Moving along:

“He doesn’t like America.”

Fuck you. Barack Obama has saved millions of Americans from bankruptcy by providing affordable healthcare. Stopped the unnecessary deaths of hundreds of American soldiers in Iraq as best he could. Let immigrants come out of the shadows. Didn’t have to keep his food down after saying gay marriage is A-OK. Equal pay for women. There’s a lot more. I’d say the President is crazy about this country. Sure, there’s a list of things that I don’t like that Obama has done but it’s a mighty tiny list in comparison.

“They’ve just politicized Islam and turned it into a fascist government.”

Wow. I don’t know what that means. Very Palinesque.

“The liberal elites own Hollywood,” she said. “And Hollywood dictates the culture of the country. So, as long as they do that, they control the narrative. They control the narrative that is fed to the country. The propaganda.”

“It’s like 21st century Nazism. It’s ridiculous.”

Hollywood dictates the culture? Really? I have never been anything but entertained by Hollywood. I have never seen a movie that has made me change my attitude about “the culture”, which is another thing Stacey wouldn’t be able to define because culture differs everywhere you go in this great land…which to most, is a feature, not a bug. Again, desiring a monolithic “culture” is just a twee bit fascist. What does “the narrative” mean? More bullshit, it’s just all a bunch of made-up nonsense phrases that right wingers parrot after being taught to them by their chosen media outlets. To the best of my knowledge, I haven’t learned a single word device from MSNBC. I may have learned to call Donald Trump Fuckface Von Clownstick from the Daily Show, though.

Then she finishes her dribble by going full Godwin. Which is it, Stacey, Islamic? Fascist? Nazi? I’m surprised you left out communism and socialism because that’s what you do; you just throw around these terms that have important distinctions from each other.

Stacey Dash, while striking, has nothing upstairs. In other words, she’s the perfect “contributor” for outlets like Fox. She’s found a new gig since she’s past her sell date in acting. Eat a dick, tootsie. You are amongst the dividers.

 

Shell Game

What’s so odious about this North Carolina law everyone is talking about? As I write this, NC is suing the federal government for overreach after the Justice Department threatened to have federal education funding ixnayed for the state if they did not rescind the bill.

The Justice Department has sued back.

This has never been a “who goes to the bathroom” issue. That’s the magical squirrel everyone has their eye on. Every goddamned idiot on the right is wigging over transgender rights to use the bathroom of their gender ID. It’s such a small part of what this bill does; what it really does is prohibit the localities of North Carolina from passing laws protecting the rights of LGBT citizens because you guessed it, state’s rights. In the bill, it says that no one can or will be compelled to respect the rights of that community.

Loretta Lynch is right: we’re looking at modern day Jim Crow style laws aimed to relegate certain individuals to secondary, even tertiary status.All of these goober states can’t handle teh gay. Fuck ’em. They will lose this fight.

I don’t want to toot my own horn, but Justice thinks these bills contravene protection offerered by the Civil Rights Act. Finally, someone gets it.

 

The Law And Order Party

Tits McGee is in the news again, and she is so fucking bent around the axle about gunplay, she has suggested a really smart thing-pull your gun if a cop pulls his when confronting you.

This is an excellent way to get yourself killed. As a matter of fact, cops shoot whenever they even think there is a gun involved in a situation.

This is a sitting politician advocating pointing a gun at the police. I thought you all defer to authority whenever you get a chance. But Tits is a special one. She’s one step away from considering herself and her constituents sovereign citizens who have the rights to do whatever they want irrespective of the law.

Nevada, fix this. Just because she has a G-cup rack, it doesn’t make her a good lawmaker.

 

I’m Trying, Janine

To my post-adolescent mind, Janine Turner, along with Gillian Anderson, were the hottest girls to grace the tiny tube in the ’90s. They were also strong female characters; neither of them were sexualized (at least not in the show). That was a shame for me, who probably would have jerked off to a picture of them that showed a hint of cleavage or a leggy pose from them were I the tender age of 14. There I go again, dating and embarrassing myself. But, this blog is part politics, part religion hating and part confessional. I doubt anyone is going to judge me anyway. I tell the truth here, and if you don’t like it, go away.

But let’s flash forward to Janine Turner today. Sadly, she has become a pod person. And boy howdy, does she ever peddle the conservative goods in a manner unseen since Sarah Palin took the stage. Melissa Harris Perry of MSNBC wondered if there was a racial component to the character of Darth Vader in Star Wars. Was he black because he was on the darkside, and when he was revealed to be white, was he on the good side? It’s an interesting question; one that I have no business answering because I’m white and will never see the world through a black person’s lens. Janine scoffed at the question, and this is what dribbled out:

Turner responded to Harris Perry on Monday by warning that “political correctness is going to be responsible for killing more Americans.”

“Regarding Darth Vader, please!” she exclaimed. “The Bible talks darkness and light. This is about evil and good. Darkness and light.”

“This doesn’t have anything to do with anything else, this goes back to biblical times,” she continued. “It’s been discussed in the Bible, Jesus talks about it. It’s about darkness and light, evil and good.”

According to the actress, the discussion of racial issues in Star Wars is the kind of rhetoric that is “ruining our country and putting us in this clear and present danger.”

I can only guess that Janine thinks that a race war is coming, but political correctness  cannot kill. It may annoy or make someone reflect, but what the fuck is she going on about? Then she makes some bizarre reference to the Bible and Jesus. What the blazes does that have to do with Star Wars? Good and evil existed before his holiness hit the planet.

To top off this stupid sundae, Janine waves around the Constitution, thinking she understands it:

Turner said that she had found a clause in the Constitution (Article I, Section 10, Clause 3) that would allow “the states to take this back into their own hands.”

Because the states were facing “imminent danger” they could come together and form their own union to deal with immigration and other issues, she advised.

“We’re in clear and present danger, we’re beyond imminent,” Turner opined. “So the states can legally and constitutionally come together to defend the American people.”

I know, right? The sky is falling, the spooks are going to kill us, and decentralization of power is the cure for everything. Because that’s worked so well for us-when you let states decide shit, you get Jim Crow, slave states and free states, segregation and other modern problems that I won’t go into because it isn’t relevant. Again, what is she talking about? A new nation? Isn’t it contradictory to say that states should not be bound to the federal government, but we must come together?

Janine’s had a little too much Fox News. She’s an incoherent mess and an alarmist, like most Republicans. It’s sad, watching one of your earliest crushes become an idiot. Fox is slowly becoming the Love Boat of cable news; chock full of has-beens who toe the conservative line.

 

 

Poor Ken Ham

Religion, for the most part, is perpetuated by guilt of some sort. You have done wrong and you need redemption. For an atheist, we bear our guilt and make amends to whomever we have harmed. There’s no middle man involved. Atheists ask people for forgiveness, the religious keep apologizing to God.

It is therefore assumed that God has been wicked to us because we have been so wicked to him. The wrath of Jehovah is irrational, just like any god. He destroys at will and blames it on his poor creations, whom if he were real he would make them perfect again, in the garden, blissful and sated.

But instead we are left to fend for ourselves. And so evolved disease, pestilence, war, poverty and a host of other afflictions. Ken Ham, unsurprisingly, believes this. God is still the temper tantrum throwing deity of the Old Testament. He doesn’t even focus on the cleansing blood of Jesus a whole lot. His bag as of late is to try to make Genesis real, somehow. I think he thinks if he can pull that off, the rest of the Bible would be cake to explain. For it is that book that is the linchpin of Christian belief: that people are cursed to be sinners all the days of their lives. It’s the book that practically everyone has read at some time or another, with varying effects upon the reader. You have two choices; get scared, or just ignore this unbelievable, fatuous supernatural jive and live your life as if it were going to end soon, which sadly it will one day.

So anyway, Ken must be some sort of newbie to Twitter. I don’t tweet myself, but from what I understand it’s a gladiator match, a royal rumble of insults and smackdowns. Ken let go a flurry of poopy-pantsed tweets, gathering the attention of many detractors. Ken’s lack of critical thinking should be obvious to everyone. No one who isn’t brainwashed already could say that Ken Ham is a deep thinker. Maybe if you believe in this angry god, you’re much more likely to find logic somewhere in his blithering. But was he drunk when he thundered on Twitter recently? There is no other excuse for waking up the twitterverse with such obvious goading.

Dude, you got your tax exemption for your fantasy park. Shut the fuck up and count your blessings instead of our sins. The internet is not going to be nice. Maybe you get off on that. I don’t know. You are irredeemable, in this life at least.

And fuck you for poisoning the minds of young children before they are able to think for themselves. We eagerly await your atonement for that sin.

 

And There’s Some Evil Mothers

My kids wear a shirt that says, “The thing about science is that it’s true whether you believe it or not”.

That about nails it.But as you may have noticed, some people are having issues with the facts that teachers tell children. They shut down talk of sex. They whine about “new math”(which is only a paper representation of what your brain does anyway). And, they get positively apoplectic when evolution is taught.

In sum, these poor kids who have to suffer this will go into the world very ignorant of basic reality. Some call it child abuse. I don’t know if I’d go that far, but I bristle when I get told that I have a religion because I believe in evolution:

A federal court rejected the argument from a Christian group in Kansas which said that evolution was religious “indoctrination” and should not be taught in schools.

COPE said that teaching evolution took children “into the religious sphere by leading them to ask ultimate religious questions like what is the cause and nature of life and the universe – ‘where do we come from?’”

What? Huh? These are not religious questions. The’re fundamentally existential. Everyone asks these questions at some point, and not all of them come to a conclusion that we are here because of a god.

You know, I have got to hand it to the court system lately. Even in a bass-ackward state like Kansas judges know that something stinks about their claims about the school system endangering children:

But the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver last week upheld a lower court’s ruling which said that COPE lacked standing to bring the suit because it could not show that it had been harmed.

Bam. Case closed. Sanity rules the day. Blow it out your ass, Christians. Your quest to make your kids dumb is thwarted, at least for the time being.

 

 

I Bet He Jerked Off More Than I Did

I believe in the right to free speech. I don’t even mind stretching it a little to gain justice or promote fairness. But this is not only a bridge too far, it’s hilarious:

The sponsor of a recently passed Utah resolution declaring that “pornography is creating a public health crisis” appeared on the Family Research Council’s “Washington Watch” program yesterday to defend the measure, which the governor signed on Tuesday, and allege that the availability of pornography is violating his “First Amendment right to not view it.”

State Sen. Todd Weiler, a Republican, urged libraries and McDonalds restaurants with WiFi to block pornography websites, claiming that he has heard anecdotally that children go to McDonalds to view pornographic websites: “I said to McDonalds, ‘You’re a family restaurant and you market to children, why would you want to be a purveyor of pornography?’”

“That’s what I think is often lost in the First Amendment discussion,” Weiler said, “because someone may have the First Amendment right, according to the U.S. Supreme Court, to view pornography, but what about my First Amendment right to not view it?” 

I have never, ever considered my right to watch pornography  a First Amendment issue. I never considered it to be a right granted by the federal government. Whacking your doodle in the confines of your home does not count as an act of speech. I hope this guy’s not a lawyer, because he really needs to brush up on what the First means and what it doesn’t. Matter of fact, there’s a rumor going around that there may be more than two amendments to the Constitution. What I am given to understand is that a man should be secure in his houses, papers and effects-and as long as I am looking at actresses(or actors if that’s your thing) who are 18 and older you can dry up and blow away. If I want to watch Julie Ashton(dating myself here) blow two dudes in clown masks, that’s my biz. Not my speech, but my privacy, dummy. You don’t get to use the First to stop anyone’s Fourth.

Nobody is opening your eyes and forcing you to watch a la A Clockwork Orange. You don’t like porn, I get it. Everyone hears that. This is your right to free speech. That’s about as far as it goes, stupid. Make your locale porn-free. Be my guest. But I warn you, fighting porn is like playing Whack-A-Mole these days. The simple thing for you to do is not watch it, instead of making a jackass out of yourself and an embarrassment to your constituents by wielding that document erroneously. Shove your anecdotes. Those screens are too small to get your wank on anyway.

 

Laugh Of The Day

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My Soulless Governor

I’m under no illusion about where I live. I’m in the Bible Belt, and that seems to mean more than being surrounded by Book-waving Christians. But this group intersects with another group popular here; the persecuted white male. If I had to provide you with a Venn diagram, you would find that the shaded area is rather large. The circles might as well be concentric, so close are they.

Mr. Persecuted White Male doesn’t believe in basic women’s rights. He thinks he should have the right to own an arsenal because the 2nd amendment is the only amendment he can quote. He think that his god is being disappeared from polite society. He’s a reconstituted bigot. He hates taxes and support for the poor, regardless of how poor he is.

I have met many respectable souls in my time down here in the land of the neverending heat. But Republicans run this place; and this is how I know there’s a lot of Mr. Persecuted White Males running around, open carrying with their Duck Dynasty overalls on.

Mr. Persecuted White Male is afraid. That’s the bottom line. And his party and god make him this way.

What’s the most common fear in America these days? Actually, it is a fear that we all have, globally. If the headlines are correct, that fear is of terrorism. I personally fear Mr. Persecuted White Male more, because he is far more likely to act upon his psychotic fears near me than a terrorist. But I could go on about that at length in another post.

 

Ina sloppy segue, let’s move our focus to the Middle East. We all know that Syria is no longer an independent state. It is saturated with rebels against the government and this cancer called ISIS.

I can shoot and point a gun, but I would not be a fighter if I were a Syrian. I’d be a refugee. My family comes first and getting the hell away from the bombs and the murdering would suit me just fine.

It’s heartbreaking and we should all step up to help these refugees as much as we can. But that doesn’t sit well with the right wing; politicians are hell bent on a no-more-Muslim policy-in fact, one of them has called for a registry for those living here.

But now let’s move back to my homestate-where my dickless fuck of a governor is withholding sustenance from Syrian refugees:

Georgia Governor Nathan Deal (R) signed an Executive Order in November instructing all state agencies to halt any and all activity regarding Syrian refugees.

Ravae Graham, a spokeswoman for the state’s Department of Human Services, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that the department will follow the Nov. 18 memo with a newly arrived family. “We are just going to follow that process as outlined,” she said.

A family of three from the Syrian crisis been relocated to the Atlanta area, where state officials are making life very diificult.

That’s right; this executive order nullifies a refugee’s right to receive food assistance. Fuck you, thanks for coming, now go eat garbage.

There’s a silver lining to this-I don’t know who he was trying to impress, but this is illegal:

The federal government has told Deal that he must roll back his executive order in order to comply with federal law. Jessica Shanin, associate administrator at the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program,wrote a letter to the state in November warning that denying food stamps to Syrian refugees would violate federal law, noting that states cannot discriminate based on national origin or religion.

Is Deal up for election again? I’d like to know. Unless he’s angling for a Cabinet spot in the fantasy that is a Republican presidency,I don’t see why he has to be an unrepentant prick about this. If it’s the former, this is a great way to get Mr. Persecuted White Male to get on board. If the latter, he has to be as radical as the fascists who seek the big chair in order to get noticed.

Shit on Nathan Deal for grandstanding when real people are literally dying to get into this country because their old one barely exists anymore.

 

 

 

 

Star Fuckers

Some conservatives, well…most conservatives, are very worried that their Christian-festooned country is disappearing more year after year.

You could say that they are overreacting. After all, it is their country, their culture and how dare anybody take it from them.

I don’t think they’re overreacting at all. Yes, your Jesus is going bye-bye.

The holidays are for everyone. Each subculture has their own way of ringing in the holidays. I don’t like to use the word inclusiveness, but I believe it applies here. There’s nothing wrong with inviting everyone to celebrate the final holiday before the new year arrives. They too should have the opportunity to gather with family, get depressed, and spend money we don’t have to get a present for everybody who might get you one.

Sorry, Christians. Not only are you being supremacists, you’re being dumb. It’s not anybody’s birthday.

Why do I pen this pre-emptive attack against the War On Christmas? Because Starbucks changed its holiday cup to solid red instead of trees, stars, and snowflakes.

I can’t in good conscience link to a Breitbart article. But I will steal a few snippets from a terrible, unfunny, and saddening article about the red cup:

I did go this morning, after seeing a Facebook post by a colleague of mine pointing out what Starbucks’ newest “Red Cup” looks like. For those unfamiliar: one of Starbucks’ greatest marketing gimmicks is changing the colour of their cups from white to red every Christmas.

And what I found was deeply disappointing to 17-year-old, macchiato-chugging me. The Red Cups are now an anti-Christmas symbol, with Starbucks declaring their formerly Christmassy cups to be “holiday beverages” and shedding any sign of Christmas from them.

Then the author shows pictures of what the cup used to look like. They had bells, sleds, and ornaments, you know, everything that somehow has something to do with Jesus. Moving on:

I asked Starbucks why, but they just sent me a “factsheet” with their latest flavours and a link to their website where they’ve talked about wanting “to usher in the holidays with a purity of design that welcomes all of our stories.”

“We’re embracing the simplicity and the quietness of it. It’s [a] more open way to usher in the holiday,” said their CEO.

You can see what’s going on here. More open? You mean, you’re trying not to “offend” anyone.

Nope, try to read, asshat. That’s not what he said. If he wanted to say “we don’t want to offend anyone”, then that is what he would have said. Must you make things up to score a point?

The obvious reason that the cup has has changed boils down to one thing:money. More dollars and cents. And it’s much easier to write or see a name on the solid red background too.

The only person here being offended is you, doofus. Stop your projecting, drink the overpriced coffee if you must, and shut the fuck up about it. Open your own Christian coffee shop. Good luck with it, though-look what happened to Christian rock.

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