Monthly Archives: November 2011

A Cain/Perry Debate

This will never happen in the real world.( But could it? Cue fiendish music here)

Moderator: Hello and welcome.

Perry: Hi-ho! Woot.

Cain: Herman says hi to you.

Moderator: I don’t think anyone’s asked you just where you people come from.

Cain: Herman has been many places. My CV is actually quite large, even though it looks like I don’t know what I just wandered into.

Perry: I ran with my yell group. I would like to say that this is not gay behavior. I drove a big, scary bomber, and harassed the freshmen! Don’t say I’m gay! I need nappies.

Moderator: We’ll be done in 15 minutes because the blogger will run out of smartass things to say and give up. Ok?

Perry: Works for me.

Moderator: Mr. Cain, you have been suspected of at least 4-5 counts of sexual harassment. Any others you’d like to confirm here?

Cain: All claims about Herman are bogus.

Moderator: It’s plain as day. You are using a classic, scumbucket tactic known as “blame the victim”. I can see how you would like to climb above this seeing how you are such a self made man, but clearly Atlas Shrugged and you got hit on your way down. Classic elitist; the rules don’t apply to you.

Cain: Herman has no responses. All allegations against me are false. When I say 9-9-9, I’m actually trying to drown you out short of sticking my fingers in my ear and going “na-na-na”. I bet you didn’t know that.

Moderator: I did not. I have to move on.

Perry: Cute, blogger.

Cain: Can we talk about my plan?

Moderator: I thought we just did. Let Rick say what he needs to say.

Perry:Thanks! I’ve been waiting for “Herman” to let me talk.

Moderator: Remember, talking is not your strong suit.

Perry: What I like to talk about is taxes-flat tax rates for everyone. Know why? Because the tax code is too complicated.

Moderator: Actually,they aren’t hard to file. These days, you can use software or have someone like Jackson Hewitt do it immediately. Generally, you find them by looking at the little people swinging signs around in January, many of which say “Godfather’s Pizza”, I bet.

Perry: So I have no platform other than whatever I cribbed from Ron Paul before he spoke. Didja see how I did that? That didn’t go too well. I miss that place with the syrup. They liked me. I think.

Moderator: Good enough. I need a Xanax if this is what it comes down to. Good night, and God bless us all because we need saving now more than ever.

The Stupidest Candidate

Would you believe, wouldn’t you bet your life that Michele Bachmann might be brighter than a frontrunner?

While whoring out for his book and campaigning for president at the same time, it has become public knowledge that he is a scuzz bucket. And much to his chagrin, she is blabbing on him for some pretty ugly stuff. He denies it.

That’s what Bill Clinton did. Learn a lesson from Big Daddy. Just leave, Herman. The GOP will let you creep back into the fold, and then you can be your own man again. But right now, you are TOAST. I’ll toast to that, because I am tired of Herman Cain, even though I have written several posts about him. It’s just that I can’t get my head around how stupid this guy is and he wants to be my president. Unacceptable.

All Quiet On The Wingnut Front

It’s far from quiet where they are concerned, but for tonight, I feel warmth and glee. Our friend the preening Herman Cain, has finally self-destructed, and there is a massive vacuum in that space that belongs to Mitt Romney, who will never, ever beat Obama.

What shall I do with my free time? I can’t bitch, everything is going my way. I am politically satisfied, correctly medicated and headed back to school. Unfortunately, they have declared me an idiot when it comes to math, so I will have to take some courses with a lot of “x”s and “y”s and slopes and stuff. Shit no human being cares about, unless you are an engineer.

Now I don’t want this blog to get as personal as it has been. It’s going to be fairly political throughout, unless something else is bugging me or I feel like being funny. You motherfuckers had better come see me. I ain’t the best blogger, but if Duncan Black can post a sentence and get 400 replies about it, then I should get some attention too. I can turn a phrase. I will use some categories so WordPressers can see me. Until then , farewell for now. Some other bozo will upset me politically soon. Maybe you will upset me soon. That’s what I’m here for.

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