Doubting Thomas

Well, wouldn’t you know it, Clarence Thomas can speak. He’s been caught napping at oral arguments and never writes an opinion or examines a case. He’s as useless as a football bat on the bench, a cipher and rubber stamper of all decisions conservative.

The term “political correctness” has been beaten like a dog who just took a wet shit on your carpet. We’ve rendered it totally meaningless. When conservatives use the phrase, it means “I am about to be an asshole because it’s my right”. To liberals like me, I like inclusive language that doesn’t leave out or offend minorities. I am not 100% good at this, and nobody really is. We try our best not to make mistakes.

So it is with this in mind that I present to you Clarence Thomas speaking(!) at a commencement:

Clarence Thomas addressed the connection between liberty and personal responsibility in a powerful commencement address yesterday, lamenting what he called “a bygone era” of the “hallmarks of my youth”.

“Do not hide your faith and your beliefs under a bushel basket, especially in this world that seems to have gone mad with political correctness.”

Using his upbringing on a farm as a frame of reference, Thomas said that these days, “hallmarks of my youth, such as patriotism and religion, seem more like outliers, if not afterthoughts.”

“In that context, when we heard the words ‘duty,’ ‘honor,’ ‘country,’ no more needed to be said. But that is a bygone era.”

And so on.

Let’s slow down, ace. The world is not going “mad” because people try to approach things in a non-offensive manner. I’m very sorry that you can’t speak without being a jerk. Fuck you.

Furthermore, as a good regressive(a better word than conservative sometimes), he pines for the olden days that don’t exist.

You lived on a farm, brother. The bygone era you are referring to is an era where blacks and whites had their own separate water fountains and had food dumped on their head when one of them dared to eat a the Woolworth’s counter. It was an era where blacks had to battle firehoses and dogs to get the slightest amount of justice. It was a time when a young black boy was chained to a truck and dragged to death by whites.

Still think your idyll exists, farm boy? Wrong. You’re the worst kind of sellout, with the typical Republican way of thinking that just because something does or does not happen to you, it doesn’t exist.

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