How Not To Get Off Social Media

Yeah, so I quit Facebook a while back, citing reasons of privacy. And now, thanks partially to what must surely be an addictive personality, I am a Twitter junkie who goes daily on the President Of The United States’ personal account to tell him what an insufferable dumbfuck he truly is.

This violates the spirit in which I deactivated my account on Facebook. I felt that social media was a danger to me in that I am a disabled vet and there was some talk that Social Security and possibly the VA were going to start looking at our accounts and if they deemed us happy and healthy per our pages, then we might not need our benefits anymore.

Chances are these proposals hit the circular file, another trial balloon from a president with an unlimited supply of hot air. But at the time I sensed clear and present danger.

I’m now about four months into breaking my Facebook addiction. I’m starting to feel normal about it, and that’s good news to a user. There oughta be chips for this shit.

What I was not ready for was the lure of Twitter. Its sparse design and seemingly unfriendly layout was miles away from what I was accustomed to at Facebook. It all started so innocently. I looked around cautiously, lurking here and there. What I have learned about myself, and perhaps knew already, is I am really bad at not sharing my opinion. I mean yes, this is my little corner of the internet and I can shout at the void for as long and as hard as I want to because I didn’t make the cut of good bloggers. But that’s the problem with voids. They don’t answer you or engage you. I write mainly for pleasure, but what writer doesn’t want you to see the work you do and like it?

In contrast, you can reach ANYONE on Twitter if you want. All you have to do is follow someone, and pow!-you will be in their feed, as long as you can keep your salvos below 280 characters. Or you can get retweeted by acquaintances and find yourself with quite the audience on a more popular page. I joined in 2009 but my timeline lay dormant until I gave up Facebook for good. I had 13 random followers at first, and a friend or two that I hadn’t talked to in a long time. In the last few months, I have quintupled the number of people who follow me. That’s fast, and sort of a lot! And Twitter, as social media goes, is a harsh mistress. People who tweet stupid shit, especially well known people, can expect to be “ratioed”, which is when hundreds to thousands of people stop by to tell you in hundreds to thousands of ways how stupid the shit you tweeted actually was.

It’s kinda fun. It’s certainly more combative than something like Facebook if that’s what you want from your social media. It’s almost like the old days for me, because the big fish bloggers of yore are very much Twitter enthusiasts. We’ve all enjoyed the longform but it sometimes takes a different skill set to be clever in 280 characters in such a way that everyone loves what you have to say.

I haven’t really learned it yet. I do a lot of retweeting right now. My personal Twitter hero right now is Jeff Tiedrich, who (unbeknownst to me at first) runs The Smirking Chimp blog. Every day, he stealthily waits for Donald Trump to tweet and fires off a smart ass quip within minutes of Chaos Hitler’s post that we sane denizens of the Twitterverse all hope he sees when he glances at the fallout of yet another ill-advised tweet. Always nipping at his bone spurs, all day and night. I live for the abuse that Jeff is allowed to dole out to our orange enfant terrible because tweets are part of the presidential record.

Hooray for democracy! The government may be collecting presidential detractors on a list to send to us to camps when the slow-walk fascist coup happening here is complete, but in the meantime, let’s have a laugh on Twitter and let loose on someone notable who is desperately, desperately ripe for our ratio.

About The Head Seminarian

I went to war, I went to father, I came, I saw, and it is a mess. I wouldn't have it any other way. Shitty people amuse me, people who act like human volcanoes fascinate me like fine art. Life is beautiful, and it is under attack in a manner heretofore unseen in history. I might be writing a blog. Yes, that's all I am doing, now that I think about it. Even I forget sometimes, so we're cool.

Posted on August 23, 2019, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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