Sail On Sailor
The lady says write.
So I pushed the button, and here we are. I started therapy for depression a few weeks ago, and one of the things I have been instructed to do is do this daily as a way of working through this trough of unhappiness that I’m currently wallowing in. I don’t know how well it will work. But I’m going to try anyway, even if all I come up with is navel-gazing. I’ll try and throw 300 or more words up and let it be. Most of my readership is otherwise occupied viewing my “Tucker Carlson Is An Asshole” series and will politely ignore these little intermittent squalls from the depths of desperation.
So now I am on new meds. I’m taking 15mg of Buspar, which is supposed to combat my anxiety. Lately I have found myself full of the feeling that everything is falling apart, and it causes me no shortage of chest flutters. The Buspar is supposed to replace the Neurontin I was taking. My new shrink doesn’t believe in the efficacy of Neurontin for anxiety, and my own research bears this out as well. So that’s chunked. I have also been given 15mg of Remeron to help me sleep at night. I’m one of probably countless people who try to solve all their problems while they are trying to get to sleep at night. Every little niggling thought that was unthought during the day begins to work itself out when I am on the pillow, so the Remeron is there for that. I think it’s working for the most part, it just still takes me a long time to get to sleep. I’m back to Zyprexa after Clozapine turned out to be a nonstarter so far as my ability to wake up when I am supposed to.
So far, I think I am in the capable hands of a decent mixologist. We’re being as aggressive as possible and he’s been very responsive to my feedback.
I may also be bringing sexy back. It’s a little early to tell, but it appears that both Buspar and Remeron are known for returning males back to form, so to speak. I know that might be TMI but ha, who’s really with me to this point? Y’all be good humans, stay frosty. If you feel like sharing a story about your experience with any of these crazymeds, or any others, drop a comment. I’ll leave you with one of Brian Wilson’s last great songs.
I sailed an ocean, unsettled ocean
Through restful waters and deep commotion
Often frightened, unenlightened
Sail on, sail on sailor
I wrest the waters, fight Neptune’s waters
Sail through the sorrows of life’s marauders
Unrepenting, often empty
Sail on, sail on sailor