Epilogue: A Pause

What just happened?

Did the earth fall into a pinball ramp of a black hole and emerge in another galactic orbit after a giant supernova?

I keep hearing all this bullshit about Chinese weather balloons and it all just sounds like nonsense to me. AI talk bores the shit out of me. Get a fucking life, you’re already talking to computers.

Now as you all know, I am merely bipolar, not all-knowing. I had to be sternly reminded of that recently.

I keep wondering about that star we now see shining upon us. I wonder if it is Jupiter, dusted off from the Milky Way’s massive collapse. I wonder if the tiny rocks Venus and Mercury got blown away so badly during the explosion that they reformed this planet’s core.

I wonder if the moon crashed into us and sent us careening. It’s entirely possibly that’s where we are right now; but Earth is still visible, doing what it does, being a beautiful green and blue marble. Could be crazy talk. I’m never sure.

What I do know for certain is that we have been reborn. I’m actually going to call it an evolution. All of us can feel it; that there is going to be a biblical reckoning for the evil slackjawed, slopeheadead monkeys who have been subjugating us since we lost our tails, some hair, and could look at the sun without fear.

Prepare for chaos on an unprecedented scale. But know you will survive it. Because you and I will bring it wherever it is necessary.

Greetings, Homo Superior, or whatever we are going to call the half-bright, nervous sapiens we have now become. I’ve been at this blog for over ten years now, and I think it may be time to collate it and get it bound. I’ll think of a subtitle soon. I have lots of thinking to do. But I must take one thought at a time, as there are many thoughts to think.

This is the end of a possible book.

It could be unreadable gibberish.

But in every instance, at every iteration in this blog, I have been telling the truth from my perspective about you. That may make you uncomfortable. I never named names. I just told stories, mostly, or wrote quick essays. Much of it is cloaked in metaphor so it is easier to read-I’m not trying to outdo Joyce, Eco, Pynchon or dozens of unreadable writers such that my meaning will not be mistaken. I just like to write and be heard.

So, with that said, you will continue to hear from me here as I make fun of all of us.

The biggest joke is on me, anyway. It always has been. You all think you are very clever, but play nice. The categorical imperative, the golden rule, whatever terminus we have arrived at to stop us from hurting each other, is still in effect here. Many of you know my name already; I’d like to get to know more of you. That’s a hard step for me to take, seeing as how you all scare the shit out of me on a daily basis.

Instead, make me laugh. Tell me new jokes.

Please. I need it like oxygen. Naturally.


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