Uncategorized – Page 36 – The Illogical Seminary

Carly Fiorina Is Shower Scum

22 Jan 201622 Jan 2016

Carly "No Chance At Even Getting Close To the White House Unless On A Guided Tour"Fiorina is still out there meeting and greeting. There's a thing called the Young Republicans, and…

No-Win Situation

I have a new conspiracy theory. The Republican party does not want to win the presidency. Sound outrageous? But look at the facts: Sarah Palin, the former Alaska governor and…

Obsessions With Power And Strength

13 Jan 201613 Jan 2016

Those are our biggest exports. And America can't stop blabbering on in superlatives about how we have those things. Even Democrats are guilty of trying to project them into the world. Any…

What Are We Waiting For?

I'd like an answer as to why the mother lovers holing up in that federal preserve move freely and are able to get press. Hello, FBI? Looking at you. The…

I Have Lost Interest In Ben Carson

8 Jan 20168 Jan 2016

I still hate him with every fiber of my body. But the real reason for giving up abusing Ben is that I can't keep up with the stupid fucking things…

They Have To Give It A New Name

7 Jan 20167 Jan 2016

Did you know that we live in something called the Holocene era? You did? Damn. I should know this, shouldn't I? However, I'm not gonna let my stupid get in…

In Defense Of The Background Check

In the oughts, conservatives would ridicule liberals for blaming everything on George Bush. They gave a name to it: BDS. Bush Derangement Syndrome. It was clever enough, except now the…

Man’s Blast Friend

They have books about how your cat is trying to kill you. But dogs are the ones who almost succeed: This past weekend, a chocolate Labrador retriever named "Trigger" accidentally…

You Too Can Be Illiterate And Rich

No, no you can't. You'd have to be selected as a failed vice presidential candidate, give incoherent speeches, start your own pay-to-watch shows that no one can stomach, and buy…

Leave This Word Alone

14 Dec 201514 Dec 2015

Talking politics has its own lexicon. This can be a mixed blessing-more of a curse, to be sure. The word I'd like to take back from this type of conversation…