Monthly Archives: August 2007

Taking Retards To The Roundtable

     I don’t like Chris Matthews much.

     Has anyone noticed Chris likes to put female conservative commentators on Hardball for the joy of showing the viewers what brainless, crude parrots they truly are? It’s just a theory, but after ambushing Ann Coulter by forcing her to confront Elizabeth Edwards after Ann called her husband a faggot, and recently bringing Melanie Morgan on to defend the indefensible contradictory outlooks that a 1994 Dick Cheney and a 2001 Dick Cheney had on an invasion of Iraq, I’m beginning to sense a bit of sexuo-political sadism on the part of Tweety. Buzzflash seems to have caught on to this cheap traffic as well.

     In that latter example, I think even Morgan caught on to the glee by noting a “twinkle” in Chris’ eye when he dropped Cheney/Not Cheney in her lap. I don’t feel sorry for her in the least because she is a crazy bitch, but there is something less than savory about putting these unstable airheads on for entertainment. I labor under no delusions that Hardball is anything more than an ego trip for someone who loves the sound of his own voice, but it’s worth noting that Matthews’ program is at least part freakshow and should never be considered a serious forum for debate. There may be a shortage of wingers who can cogently explain themselves or what in God’s everloving name the Bushies are doing, but that doesn’t mean you should instead put on vicious, dye-jobbed halfwit rottweilers who are guaranteed to implode under the weight of the water one must carry to do so. It may be amusing, but it also may be getting a bit exploitative.

     I’m not saying don’t put girlcons on-but give them a fighting chance, Chris, if you are truly interested in giving the right wing a forum rather than turning Hardball into the Jerry Springer of political talk shows-where it’s fun to watch Girls Go Wild. Besides, it only gives them the publicity they crave. To use their parlance, it emboldens them.


Play It Again, Sam

Oh, look, the White House is getting ready to cut troop levels in Iraq! Yay!

Chin up, America. Maybe this time they mean it.

The Law Of Conservative Analysis states that if a conservative tells you something will happen, you can expect the exact opposite to happen. This law also conveniently applies to anything the Bush White House or any of its lackeys tells you. I could become a friggin’ professional prognosticator simply by turning any plan or statement that the right wing makes on its head. “Mission Accomplished”, “Last Throes”,”We Do Not Torture”, and “The Surge Is Working” are but a few examples of the remarkable solvency of this nearly immutable law.

Try it at home sometime for yourself. Amaze your friends and relatives.

Trying Out A New Home

     This looks like a good place to set a spell.

     The Illogical Seminary, as you may have already guessed, is a play on words my wife and I came up with on a car ride after seeing a theological seminary. Since we are a pair of smart-assed atheists, we felt the new designation fit much better. Since my dreams of becoming a rock star have been somewhat sidelined due to my inability to play anything, I will no longer say “hey, that’ll be the name of my next band!”(hyuk yuk yuk) when I come up with some moderately clever pun and instead say, “hey, that’ll be the name of my next blog”. It’s much easier to start a blog than a band, and an equally satisfying way to irritate my wife and ignore the children. At least I won’t come home late from posting, but I may be inebriated after doing so.

     I’ll be posting mostly about politics because I have noted the dearth of such sites on the internet. I can’t help that I find it all so fascinating, and no one will typically give me face time for rants of this nature, so I’ll put it here instead. I will occasionally write about music and culture in general, two things I contribute very little to but I’ll be bumptious enough to inflict my taste upon you should you arrive by accident. I imagine that will include all of you.

     I’m a US army soldier; well, not for long. I’m actually in the process of trying to avoid a stop-loss to guess where. I think I will be successful. I hope I am, for their sake. I’ve had eight good years with the service (well, they weren’t all good-already been to Iraq once, and then turned around to go to Korea not long after), but it is time for me to make my way in the real world, which can be a scary proposition for most soldiers. We might have to actually do some work, for example. Well, that’s not entirely fair. The problem is that the service offers free housing, free healthcare, free food, and unlimited employment-so let’s just say we’re not accustomed to having to fight for basic survival in this lovely free market hell called the United States. With this in mind, I don’t suppose I can blame my fellow soldiers for staying on. They take it out of your hide eventually, though. Especially when our foreign policy is geared to controlling all of the oil in the Middle East, where we Americans are not particularly popular, you can imagine how busy we are.

     I am a recovering right-winger. How odd it is to hate everything I once believed in. It feels funny…I worry inside about how I sound to people having done a complete philosophical, moral, and ethical turnaround. It’s not easy to swing from say, Rand to Rawls and have people respect you, or wonder if you yourself have a fatally flawed soul who doesn’t viscerally feel anything solid about anything. But being a progressive fits who I am and how I really feel. I have always been the underdog. I have always preferred tenderness to toughness. Why on earth would I subscribe to the dog-eat-dog philosophy of conservatism? I may be white, but I ain’t rich and I don’t have connnections. I really can’t explain how I wound up siding with the ruthless rigidity of the right wing. God, I’m stupid. I was a cheerleader of people who couldn’t give a fat crap about people like me, and what for? It’s not like I had Christian values that I felt needed protecting. Lowering taxes wasn’t going to help someone who barely paid any in the first place. I dunno. I can’t see what kind of empowerment I was enjoying from it, although I’m sure a psychologist could figure it out.

     But the important thing is, I’m free from all of that now, and can see from outside the matrix what the Right-Wing Wurlitzer does to people’s heads. I am now able to see more clearly How The World Really Works. I’m still ignorant as hell, but I’m reading as much as possible to catch up.

     Welcome To The Illogical Seminary. Or if you prefer, this is my new blog, and I’ll put whatever the fuck I want in it and I don’t care what anyone thinks of it.

     Yeah, I lie sometimes. I’m working on it.

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