Gun Suckers

Gun people are bizarre. My mother-in-law keeps a mini-arsenal of weapons that fire bullets like the 9mm and the .22. She says they are for personal protection. Whatever, mom. Once, she almost shot herself cleaning one. The bullet went into her bedroom wall, luckily. You hear about shit like this every day, where an ostensibly competent gun owner accidentally shoots himself or another person while doing routine maintenance on a weapon. It seems to me that guns are more of a threat to their owners and kin than they are to a burglar or what have you. They’re fucking dangerous, and only a pro should have them.

Which brings me to the concept of an armed populace. It’s loaded to the teeth, whatever the reason. That is because the Constitution says they can do this. But really, can they? The Second Amendment is probably the most confusing and opaque fragment that there is in the Bill Of Rights (“establishment of religion” coming in a close second). There’s supposed to be a militia that can be called forth to defend the nation seems to be the gist of it. And only a small percentage of gun owners would ever join a national defense initiative if we still had a militia. They’re not needed anymore, though. Our national defense force is called the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, and the Marines. And they’re pretty much operating all over the globe. That’s because we are uniquely placed on the planet. We have two oceans between us and the rest of the world. We don’t need anymore people to serve with arms. Now once upon a time, the British had a navy that could reach us and do us damage. And they did, twice. And we learned to fight their asses in an organized military manner. There was no militia to call forth. Even as early as the Revolutionary War we had a standing army.

So what’s the deal? Why are we so gaga about guns? What’s the endgame of being heavily armed?

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