Missing In Action:Chuck Norris’ Sanity

Someone please give Chuck Norris gainful employment, thus saving us from this:

On Glenn Beck’s radio show last week, I quipped in response to our wayward federal government, “I may run for president of Texas.”

That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.

It is never a good sign when an actor begins to act like one of his characters in real life.  Chuck Norris is not Walker, Joe The Plumber is not a plumber, and neither of them are pundits. There’s such a paucity of sense in conservative “thinking” I hardly know what to say. Neither does Chuck, because while appearing to be a clever play on words, this

the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state

is an impenetrable non sequitur.  I was previously unaware that a speech could make the Most Wanted list. I also did not know that a country could be an enemy of itself.  Mmmm,  Chuck, this bag of pretzel logic sure is nummy.

Chuck confirms what many people have obviously sussed by now; that conservatives are authoritarian nutbags. Chuck isn’t very bright, so I don’t expect him to realize that “enemy of the state” is only a movie, and the term is derived from a rhetorical tactic from guess who?- Joseph Stalin. Let’s look at some other scholarly lapses from Braddock:

George Washington advised, “The great rule of conduct in regard to foreign nations is in extending our relations [and] having with them as little political connection as possible.” Yet the Obama just pledged $900 million in U.S. taxpayer-funded aid to Hamas-controlled Gaza and Mahmoud Abbas’ Palestinian Authority.

Shape recognition time! What’s this, Chuck?


That is the shape of the largest recipient of  United States foreign aid. I urge Chuck to immediately condemn the government for its unequivocal anti-Washingtonian practices with regard to Israel.

Thomas Jefferson counseled us, “We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt.” Yet the Feds have just skyrocketed our national deficit and debt by trillions of dollars, and it plans much more fiscal expansion with few expectations of resistance.

Guess Who? time. Name this man:


Guess what?


I am so glad Chuck took the vanguard on the ballooning debt issue. He’s been worrying about it since 2009. I also did not know the FBI had a hand in creating the debt crisis. Those fucking Feds.

Just see the rest for yourself, and make up your own jokes. This bitch would take up the entire front page if I were to address all the tortured logic in his column.

About The Head Seminarian

I went to war, I went to father, I came, I saw, and it is a mess. I wouldn't have it any other way. Shitty people amuse me, people who act like human volcanoes fascinate me like fine art. Life is beautiful, and it is under attack in a manner heretofore unseen in history. I might be writing a blog. Yes, that's all I am doing, now that I think about it. Even I forget sometimes, so we're cool.

Posted on March 12, 2009, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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