How Do You Get a Job These Days?

It almost feels like you have to be a Member of The Party in order to do so. You have to lay out so many ‘facts’ about yourself that you cannot remember anymore.v And then there’s the questions-the crazy questions-that filter you through their screening instead of a live human being assessing you by your presence.

That’s how it used to be done. Now we get this:

Choose the thing that best describes how you feel:

A)I like to meet other people.

B)I like to meet people, but I like to keep to myself.

What is the correct answer here? My application is on the line and I get 60 questions that are all moral quandaries and each answer is correct to a certain degree. I can’t answer this question correctly; I have no information helping me. Are we talking about meeting customers? Yes. I like that. Do I like to often be in control of my own thoughts and not The Company’s? Yes I would like some of that during the day. Some.

A)People say annoying things all the time.

B)You tend to ignore people’s shortcomings and remain friendly.

I’m asking for nine dollars an hour. I’m not asking for a citizenship to another country, I’m not looking to take over one, just need something to do. I need work. I do not need to be tested to “work”. You tell me what to do, I go do it. Why are companies wasting thousands of dollars on these pointless screenings? Ask something like “is your back good? Can you lift?” I can answer these questions. “Can you put a product in someone’s hand?” Yes I can. “Can you be trusted to not be on too many drugs while you work?” Yes I can.

Please, employers. You are wasting far more money buying “solutions” than you are hiring people who you think might steal from you or whatever it is that corporate is afeared of that week. After all, I can’t buy your shit if you don’t pay me.

About The Head Seminarian

I went to war, I went to father, I came, I saw, and it is a mess. I wouldn't have it any other way. Shitty people amuse me, people who act like human volcanoes fascinate me like fine art. Life is beautiful, and it is under attack in a manner heretofore unseen in history. I might be writing a blog. Yes, that's all I am doing, now that I think about it. Even I forget sometimes, so we're cool.

Posted on June 8, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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