Daily Archives: October 20, 2011

Oasis Pisses Me Off

Aren’t they gone yet? Amazon says they are. Here’s their song that has me all upset:

Perhaps this is one of those moments where you begin to back away from your media because you’ve outgrown it. It starts out all-too clever with the nonsense lyrics and Beatle feel-which is why you are listening to Oasis, otherwise you are a schmo.

Then Liam starts asking some really dumbass questions/interjections, like

Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don’t want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don’t believe
Maybe you’re the same as me
We see things they’ll never see
You and I are gonna live forever

Oh, fuck off already. Anyone who has lived past 35 is dimly aware that their life is a ball of shit and no one wants it to go on forever, especially stuck with one person for the whole of it. Does anyone believe that a little nebbish like Liam Gallagher would do it?I suppose it isn’t fair to pick on Oasis for this stupid songwriting, considering they did it 25 years ago and are a little older than I am. The point is, life is harder than death. I’m finally convinced that I will die quietly and quickly, in fact I promise it. My wife’s mother was actually quite cross with her father for hanging on as long as he did. Bearing this is in mind, it’s OK to go, you weren’t gonna fly, you weren’t gonna live forever, you will see everything everyone else sees and there is nothing special about your trip that you will miss. It’s life. “That’s life!” say the comedians, telling the truth as always. I’m almost 40 and most of my time will be dedicated to taking statins and turning into a sea lion, yelling at my kids, and generally being the GDI that I have been to my wife for so long.

Maybe, I don’t really wanna know,

how my life just blows, cause I just wanna cry

I’d much rather be this guy from over the pond instead:

Weird Searches

Sometimes, you can get a hit on your blog by just being on the first page in a Google search. This is not how you’d like to get them, but accept we must. Here are two of my latest:

Erin Burnett boobs: you will never see Burnett unclothed here. That is sexist and lowbrow. If by chance you do find them, send me a link and I will verify them.

Can idiots die in space?: Everyone, feeble and sound, would have their breath taken at some point were they simply tossed into space. I have spoken about this before. Maybe the idiot would hold his breath, hoping he will not die and become one of those things that vacuum seal your old clothes to put them under the bed.

There. I hope I have answered some questions, and gotten more hits because of them.

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