Daily Archives: July 2, 2015

Last Jerks Standing

Parts of Alabama are going to whine themselves into contempt:

Yes, Alabama’s probate judges have to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, a federal judge in Mobile clarified on Wednesday.

But at least six counties are holding out. Probate offices in Elmore County, Tuscaloosa County, and Escambia County are not issuing the same-sex marriage licenses. And, the probate offices in Randolph County, Colbert County, and Lauderdale County are not issuing any marriage licenses.

Explaining their actions, many of these probate office officials cited Alabama Supreme Court Chief Roy Moore’s controversial claim that no probate judge has to issue a same-sex marriage license for 25 days during a rehearing period for the U.S. Supreme Court decision.

But even The Dishonorable Judge Roy Moore is wussing out on his own proclamation:

At first today, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore said a state supreme court order effectively kept probate judges from issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples for 25 days.

Moore, however, later backtracked.

“What the order means is that within that 25-day period no (probate judge) has to issue a marriage license to a same sex couple,” Moore said.

Moore said that if he implied that the order prohibited the issuing of marriage license to same-sex couples then he misspoke.

Roy Moore is an embarrassment to benches everywhere. His offenses against good judgment are here. Impeach this clown now, Alabama-or vote him out. Until you do, you are hereby quarantined.

See A Doctor

Don’t do your religion any favors by prophesying when what you have is a mental condition:

On Tuesday’s edition of “Trunews,” End Times broadcaster Rick Wiles delivered a eulogy for America and lamented that “the America I knew and loved is dead, rest in peace. It will not be resurrected.” Wiles cited the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize marriage equality as the cause of our nation’s untimely death, calling the ruling “the final abomination.”

The fire and brimstone tribute to America ended with Wiles’ assertion that “the final abomination” was upon us, which Wiles said was a reference to a dream Pastor T.D. Hale had in 2005. In his dream, Wiles said, Hale saw an American Eagle shot down in the Oval Office, with a voice saying “Weep in the house, for the misery that shall come shortly.”

Hale envisioned a smirking President Obama, dressed in all black, stepping out from behind his desk and twisting off the Eagle’s head.

“His chest cavity was open,” Wiles narrated, “The heart was exceedingly evil with thick black smoke swirling around Obama’s heart.” Obama then picked up a gavel and a voice overhead gravely proclaimed “The final abomination.”

What the hell does Obama have to do with same-sex marriage? He came out in support of it in 2012, seven years after this “prophecy”. The Supreme Court is solely responsible for equality. Has Hale been munching on Jimson weed or peyote? That would make sense. But Obama invading your nightmares? Get your head checked, dude.

This is your brain on evangelical Christianity, folks.

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