Will The Shark Jump Happen?

About two months ago, I said Trumpmania would die in December, and that Ben Carson is going to be the benefactor. That was an easy one.

But I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore. I predicted Jeb Bush would climb in the polls once the batshit insane candidates were done pissing on their own legs and say or do something politically stupid. The indicators point to him leaving the race soon. Who is left? Heavy duty regressive troglodytes. Not to say Bush wasn’t one, but I though he would be the one to bring conservatism a sheen of respectability since the brand is so tarnished, if not toxic. George Bush fooled a lot of people with “compassionate conservatism”, and that’s the space Jeb Bush was attempting to occupy. But It’s Trump, Carson, Rubio, Cruz, Fiorina-all nauseating goldbrickers who shouldn’t be in control of anything beyond a shopping cart.

Now as we all know, conservative voters have flavors of the month. Fucking Rick Santorum was in the lead at one point in 2012.Chew on that for a second. You need to be literally crazy to win the favor of primary voters. It’s gotten so bad that even the Freedom Caucus, the real fruitcakes in the House, are in danger of losing their seats because they are supporting Paul Ryan, who is not conservative enough either.

It’s breathtaking, watching this spectacle. No one is pure enough. No one. The most difficult part to understand about this is that they are all the same except for their inseam size, perhaps. There isn’t much daylight between Ted Yoho and Paul Ryan. They both want the same thing to be done-to finally bring the republic to its knees by ruining every gain this country has made for the common man since the 1830s. Add a a generous portion of Christianity, a little pre-emptive war, shake vigorously, and voila, religio-capitalistic fascism. I’m not exaggerating.

So what’s a poor conservative candidate to do? The only thing left to do is howl like a rabid chimpanzee on krokodil and say the stupidest thing you can think of. Donald Trump, Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz are working in this area. In Ben Carson’s case, you can even leave out the thinking part and just form sentences around the words “Hitler” and “slavery”, somehow managing to catch a nap while speaking. Love it to death.

When will it end? How will it end? When is far right too far? Has the presidency of Barack Obama brought the absolute worst out of conservative voters? That’s just one theory. Maybe it’s something else. One thing is for sure-half of this country is losing its cotton picking mind.

About The Head Seminarian

I might be the nicest person you'll ever meet, but if you don't believe me, that is because I hate you. I went to war, I went to father, I came, I saw, and it is a mess. I wouldn't have it any other way. Shitty people amuse me, people who act like human volcanoes fascinate me like fine art. Life is beautiful, and it is under attack in a manner heretofore unseen in history. I came to remind you of this, not make it worse. I might be writing a blog. Yes, that's all I am doing, now that I think about it. If you have a bad memory, you will forget this. Even I forget sometimes, so we're cool.

Posted on October 26, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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