I Don’t Need To See Things Like This

So I’m sitting there at the television last night watching a stricken Dick Clark try to say something nostalgic about ringing in the new year at Times Square. That depressed me. But Rockin’ Eve wasn’t finished fucking with me yet. You know that group of dickweeds that they have passing the mike around telling the television audience what their resolutions will be(and what the fuck happened to Jenny McCarthy’s face? Did she have a run-in with a sanding tool?)…well, they gave it to one of the twinkie-brained teenybopper who was wearing those oversized light-up glasses shaped like the new year. What was her resolution?

“Not to be a douche”.

Either irony is out of the gate and whooshing past me faster than I can write, or my definition of doucheitude is way off. Those glasses can only be bought at the Douche Store, am I correct about this?

2010 sucked. There was no reason for a party. Shame should have been the theme, but hey, that’s just the opinion of this crank. We are broke, dumb, at war, and somehow this justifies a party. Will anything be different in 2011? I bet my ass that the only thing that will be affected is your checkwriting skills.

I’ll wait here for the jackassery to flow.

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1 Comment

  1. Dick Clark – agree. Jenny McCarthy – agree. Crappy 2010 – agree.
    Though I try to remain optimistic about 2011. And I will try not to be a douche.

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