The Universe Is Folding Up On Itself, And I Am Wearing Fuzzy Tiger Socks

They’re warm, shut up. A little short, I don’t know how you fucking girls tolerate a sock that feels like it’s going to fall off of your heel while you are sitting.

I need another cup of coffee. You’ll thank me in a minute.

Thank you, wife, thank you Black and Decker, thank you Eight O’ Clock Coffee. You make the God-Damned-Idiot man-child possible.

OK. I see that the flags are at half-mast for the shot congresswoman. That is very nice.  Then I get wind from my wife that Dick Winters died, apparently last week. They buried him quietly three days ago. You remember Dick, right? That guy on that DVD series you watched. What was the name of it again?

Three days ago, a human garter snake named Jared whipped out a gun and started shooting innocent people, one of which was the aforementioned congressman.

I’m trying to process this in my head as I sit here and sip.

OK:  so we drop to half-mast for a brave congresswoman who will likely forgive her shooter, and we completely forget to even touch the strings nationally for a guy that blew through occupied France for no good reason other than he was supposed to liberate it from the Nazis.

Oxygen in my brain is temporarily suspended, and I realize it is my medication talking, not the fact that the White House can join a media circus not worth the ticket and forget Dick Winters.  Sip.

It appears that the media is so bored with itself that it is determined to make Arizona Jared into Orange Juice Simpson without checking in on its own disgusting, febrile conscience. It also appears that the gun control lobby is missing occupants in Arizona. That’s not their fault, I’d forget Arizona too, it seems that place is a lost cause. They shoot Democrats, I don’t want to know what those yahoos would do with a group of people who wished that people would politely wait a day while they check to see if you are a maniac.

One of the biggest problems we have in our country besides gun-suckers is that the Fourth Estate has shot its own self in the head, by focusing on a geek instead of a hero. While free speech masturbates, militias fill the vacuum. Shouldn’t this be common logic? Tom Fucking Delay finally goes to jail, a hero dies, but no, a courtroom circus ensues. At least The Huffington Post has noticed, so I see. I’m not so sure about the rest of the paper, but the front page is correct: why in the hell are we worried about who gets to hear Arizona Jared speak sanely despite the advice of counsel, and will most likely get off with five years in prison and a lot of parole? Heaven forbid you should miss one bit of outrage while not once checking in the mirror to see if there is a little bit of Arizona Jared in you. Christ, even a reptilian shitbag like Fred Phelps can tell you what is wrong with this country, but you don’t even know that’s your creation either, so fuck it. Gay soldiers are trying to get back into the service, but noooo, we must find out why Jared does the things he does.

Jesus Christ. Fuck all of you. If Arizona Jared had any sense, he’d have fired randomly. That would have frightened the media instead of feeding it. I’m not saying at all he should have done any of what he did-he is a shitty person and it doesn’t take a damn media to figure it out.

Gang, a lot of us say that the Tea Party is good for our democracy. I must demur. These are the people who show up with sidearms at a presidential speech. It is, unfortunately legal to do so. But knowing this about them, why on earth would anyone support what they are doing? Oh, sure, they might ruin the GOP forever, but is that really worth not investigating every one of these creeps before they can strap on a Glock with a spring-loaded holster and go see the president acting like Travis Bickle with a gut?

Already, as I scan the news in my periphery-shooting this, shot him, shot who, or if you are Sarah Palin, Shoot The Socialist.

There is a major gun problem in this country. I guess you have already figured that much out.

What you haven’t figured out is why.

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  1. Oh, real quick, if you liked it, throw it up on Facebook. My own friends don’t even know I write. How fucked up is that?

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