Monthly Archives: March 2016

Big Word Ben

When Mr. Smart Stupid gives you a compliment, quietly acknowledge it and move on. Because Ben Carson is a master surgeon, but also a fucking moron when it comes to certain things. Having a  PhD. means you do one thing very well. Your liberal arts education is in the rearview as you complete your dissertation, so you are woefully behind the power curve in terms of anything else besides that blowjob discipline of yours. I happen to work for a Ph.D and the man cannot write complete sentences, mixes up “lose” and “loose”, and couldn’t confer knowledge in a cogent manner if he tried.

So with that in mind, it amuses me that Ben Carson says this as he endorses Donald Trump:

Carson claimed there are “two different Donald Trumps,” one public and one private, and said he saw the “very cerebral” version as the best bet for the White House.

This from the man who lost his bid to the presidency by saying stupid shit. See, these Ph.Ds are always looking at ways to sound intelligent on every thing they do. They overreach in areas in which they are not competent because “I’m a doctor”.

So enjoy your accolade from Mr. Smart Stupid. But you know, Trump should flick this flea off, he’s dross like Sarah Palin. On the other hand, those are naturally his people.

Whatever. You all make me want to throw up.




The Shy Narcissus

I don’t spend a whole lot of time listening to Donald Trump. Sometimes I see loops of his rallies and I am half hopeful that he secures the nomination, because he’s completely out of his depth and doesn’t really know anything about politics. The other half of me is sad for what America looks like to the civilized world.  Even George W. Bush, for all his doofiness, was able to read something off a blowjob teleprompter and at least sound presidential. Sad because our country could elect a fraud.

So you see his rallies, full of his worshippers, right? But one thing you don’t see is Trump engaging the press at all. Every damn time he gets air, it’s over the phone.

Why? Is he afraid of being cornered by hardball? That would be my guess. But he has a lame excuse for not doing facetime:

On Tuesday morning, Republican front runner Donald Trump was supposed to go on several television appearances, but wimped out at the last minute and decided to do audio interviews instead. The reason for this sudden change of heart? He just didn’t feel pretty enough.

CNN Money reported that Trump was scheduled to appear on NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox News, and MSNBC, but told all the networks that he was experiencing “technical difficulties” on his end and begged them to let him do the interview over the phone instead.

According to someone who heard Trump refuse an on-camera interview, Trump needs to be a little more careful when he spews flat-out lies:

“He didn’t like the shot. But he didn’t realize that his microphone was on for everyone to hear.”

The source reported that Trump said, “I don’t like the way I look. Just tell them there’s technical issues.”

Is this little bitch running for president? Really?

Squeaky Clean

Let me be clear: I am not a fan of Israel.

To establish it required the forcible removal of its native inhabitants when it was called Palestine. They’re going to go out like our Indians did; moved, moved again until there is barely any place to move to. Israelis acted like terrorists to wrest the land from its colonial occupiers, displaced nearly a million frightened Palestinians in the war that followed Jewish independence, nullified their right to return home, and turned a blind eye to bloody massacres of Muslims.

I suggest that if this was happening to you, you’d fight back. Nastily, heedlessly, you’d do anything to remove an occupier from our soil. You’d bust out your little pea shooters and get them to leave. I excuse Palestine for wanting this irritant of a country out of its collective hair. There’s more going on here than meets the eye: it isn’t just removal that is so ugly. It is, as is going to be the case more and more often as blowjob climate change does its own removal, about resources. The Israelis are short on freshwater, and Palestine is getting in the way of its use of it.

I used to think to myself, “Well, the average Israeli wants peace with the Palestinians, it’s just that their government sucks.” A new poll suggests otherwise. My blind spot was not realizing that the reason why their government is so ruthlessly anti-Palestinian is that regular Israelis voted them in.

Folks, the two-state solution is way far in the rearview. There’s no way it was ever going to work anyway because Palestine does not have contiguous land. Further and further, the Arabs will get shoved into the ghettos of Gaza, with the Jews not remembering a thing about why they wound up in Palestine in the first place.


Running In Circles

I’ll let the pig speak for me today.


So This Is What I Have To Do To Get Your Attention

I suddenly find myself relatively popular yesterday and today.

All I did was whip out an old chestnut upon learning of her death. It’s not polite to speak ill of the recently deceased, but Wonkette was the original poster of the gossip that Nancy Reagan Did Hollywood. I wonder if it is the story that interests you, or is it the fact that I said things like cocksucker and blowjob?

I’m going to perform a little experiment. I’m going to insert those words into the next few posts and I will see if my stats improve, regardless of the subject matter. I will also tag them. Then we will see if you just have a dirty mind or a real interest in what I bring to you.

I’m banking that you have sick minds. Because I’m more or less a bottom feeder, one of many tiliapia and catfishes in the blog world. I know this. I know I don’t spend enough time doing this. I’ve done much better. Lord knows I have done much worse, when I was ill.

Nevertheless, I want to see where people’s heads are at. Maybe we can separate this Nancy story from the act itself. I leave you with pictures.


I wouldn’t refuse.

Sucking In The Forties

Well, Nancy Reagan is dead. Let me check in to base central to see if I care.

I really don’t. Ronald Reagan was President between the ages of 8 and 16 for me, so I really can’t say I remember the guy very well. But he was usually flanked by his wife when I saw them. They looked meant to be; they looked like royalty.

Depending on who you ask, the Reagans were either saints or assholes, though. Ask what anyone in the gay community thinks of those two.

So I don’t mind at all passing some salacity on, as we prepare for her interment. I don’t play fair, but if this went around about Michelle Obama you can bet your farm that this kind of shit would be all over the Reich-wing Internet.

I have bad news for those of you who loved and adored the Reagans and thought that Nancy was the epitome of class and sophistication. What I’m about to say isn’t what I’d call a bad thing; I applaud any woman who performs this ancient art.

You may have guessed by now: Nancy Reagan swallowed a lot of choad as a starlet, and earned a reputation for giving the best blowjobs in Hollywood:

According to Kitty Kelley’s biography, Nancy Reagan “was renowned in Hollywood for performing oral sex.” Just-say-yes Nancy–in the days when she was Nancy Davis–was known to give the best blowjob in town, “not only in the evening but in offices. [T]hat was one of the reasons that she was very popular on the MGM lot.” It must have made her very popular with Ronnie as well.

We’re all for the blowjob here at the Seminary. So we find no fault at all in Nancy’s proclivity for guzzling any cock she could wrap her lips around.

The world just lost a great fellatrix. I am saddened by this, at best.


I’m Going To Say Something Nice

Arizona, even though you still keep Jan Brewer in office, you get a gold star for this:

A federal judge in Phoenix, Arizona just ruled that all dogs and cats sold in pet stores must come from animal shelters or non-profit organizations. The ruling upholds an ordinance passed in 2013 that was challenged by a store called Puppies N’Love, which claimed it violates constitutionally-granted interstate commerce laws. Those in favor of doing away with puppy mills and encouraging pet owners to adopt or rescue companions see the decision as a great step forward.

Let’s take care of the puppehs we have! You are hereby removed from the quarantine list until you do something else fucking stupid.

%d bloggers like this: