Good Morning Campers!

How many people are sorry already that they did something? I am. I forgot to feed my second son this morning because I was running around like a God-Damned-Idiot while my wife slowly arose to begin her day. I also took up the whole bed last night. I have no idea what that means. I’m just laaaaying over everything, generally. I did a good job, you’d have envied it, stranger.

My wife let slip some of her south today before she left the house. The cat box is on the way to the door.

Wife: That catbox STANK!

Idiot: Did you just hear what you said?

Wife I know exactly what I just did.

Idiot: I just cleaned it.

(Means I didn’t do a bang up job.)

So, my fellow campers, watch your language. I’m supposed to because cussin’ ain’t no good from what I can tell. And clean the catbox, it’s as dirty as your mouth and I ought to know. Not that I eat from a catbox or anything. My wife serves the good stuff.

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  1. I did not say you didn’t do a good job cleaning the cat box. It was all probably a matter of timing.

    And yes…you sleep like a big hairy spider, all arms and legs thrown hither and tither. Meanwhile, I cling to my side of the mattress, holding tight to the scrap of blanket I’m allowed and whimpering in fear that your next spider-limb adjustment will finally fling me from the bed and into the wall.

    The kid said he could eat at school, he’ll be fine. Besides, getting him to eat breakfast is like pulling teeth.

    1. You know I want our bear well fed. I’m sorry. We need a bigger bed if I’m going to keep doing stupid shit like this.


      1. Or, you could just get used to me shoving you around in the middle of the night. That’s probably more cost effective in the long run.

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