Dumb Dynasty

In their neverending quest to remain Palinesquely relevant, the Duck Dynasty folks sporadically issue brain-vomit from their faceholes about something they don’t understand. Each utterance is somehow exponentially more stupid than the last one.

They really have a problem with atheists. We are told by Phil Robertson that we must rape, mutilate and kill because we have no God to tell us how to behave. That was a good one. But now I’m being told that I don’t exist:

There’s no such thing as an atheist, according to one of the stars of the reality TV show “Duck Dynasty.”

Si Robertson, known to fans of the show as “Uncle Si,” told the Christian Post that anyone who uses the date is acknowledging Jesus.

“There’s no such thing as an atheist,” Robertson told the website. “I’m serious, because there’s too much documentation. Our calendars are based on Jesus Christ. Whether you believe in him or not, every time you sign your calendar, you add down the day’s date, you’re saying he’s here, OK? That’s documented.”

Sign my calendar? Add down what? Does not compute. But the ramifications of such a stance is what is sad here. Apparently I can’t “be” if I acknowledge anything that has to do with Jesus. Does that mean there are no Jews, no Muslims, no Hindus, no Buddhists, etc.? Oh, those are false religions, if you ask these simpletons.

Let’s turn this around. Philosophical history is full of atheist thought. None other than our Founders created a government that would be free of religion. That’s documented.

Poof. Bye, God.

Apparently Si has not heard of the “Common Era” that people the world over use. Just because Christianity rolled roughshod over every other cult does not mean that everyone needs to believe in Christ, obviously. All of them exist. So do I, Si. We’ll just have to live with each other.