Daily Archives: August 29, 2015

I’m Glad I Left Jersey When I Did

Chris “Golden Corral” Christie thinks he has come up with a novel idea for solving the immigration problem:

“I’m going to have Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx, come work for the government for three months,” the Republican presidential candidate said at a town hall event in New Hampshire. “Just come for three months to Immigration and Customs Enforcement and show these people.”

He suggested the FedEx model would prevent immigrants from overstaying their visas.

“We need to have a system that tracks you from the moment you come in
and then when your time is up—whether it’s 3 months or 6 months or 9 months, 12 months, however long your visa is—then we go get you and tap you on the shoulder and say, ‘Excuse me, it’s time to go,'” Christie said.

I hope he’s joking. But Poe’s law applies to so many conservatives, one can never tell. Let’s do a little math. There are at least 11 million undocumented immigrants in the country. How will we mark and track those? I thought that was the focus, not those who come on visa and overstay their welcome, so to speak. ICE has 20,000 employees. It looks to me like they are out-manned. That’s a little over 500 immigrants per ICE official, and those are not all field agents. And they keep coming.

Christie makes no sense at all. But look at his audience. They love a fighter, even if he’s a goddamn dissembler and a liar.

I Tried

I really did. I was very much looking forward to watching clueless flibbertigibbet Sarah Palin play journalist by “sitting down” with Donald Trump.

I made it four minutes. Maybe you’ll do better.

The worst part about it is that it bored me. I had to laugh when Palin called Trump’s campaign “avant-garde” but after that it was Sarah serving up the softballs and Trump did his usual spiel. The only thing unusual about Trump’s run is its popularity despite its obvious insanity and its proto-fascism. But let’s be real here; the reason why Trump is on top is because the candidates aside him are terrible. Every last one of them, all 4,537,892 of them, are pathetic. You would think that one of them could act presidential and send this guy packing.

Nope. Not a one. Now granted, this is silly season and I expect changes, but so far no one in the Republican party has even shown a kernel of leadership potential. Some fucking gravity. Some common sense. Some… something? Anything? I’m drinking so I’m reminded as I often am of a phrase or a song while I write. I suggest you stop watching that dreadful interview and rock out with Todd Rundgren.

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