I’m Glad I Left Jersey When I Did

Chris “Golden Corral” Christie thinks he has come up with a novel idea for solving the immigration problem:

“I’m going to have Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx, come work for the government for three months,” the Republican presidential candidate said at a town hall event in New Hampshire. “Just come for three months to Immigration and Customs Enforcement and show these people.”

He suggested the FedEx model would prevent immigrants from overstaying their visas.

“We need to have a system that tracks you from the moment you come in
and then when your time is up—whether it’s 3 months or 6 months or 9 months, 12 months, however long your visa is—then we go get you and tap you on the shoulder and say, ‘Excuse me, it’s time to go,'” Christie said.

I hope he’s joking. But Poe’s law applies to so many conservatives, one can never tell. Let’s do a little math. There are at least 11 million undocumented immigrants in the country. How will we mark and track those? I thought that was the focus, not those who come on visa and overstay their welcome, so to speak. ICE has 20,000 employees. It looks to me like they are out-manned. That’s a little over 500 immigrants per ICE official, and those are not all field agents. And they keep coming.

Christie makes no sense at all. But look at his audience. They love a fighter, even if he’s a goddamn dissembler and a liar.

About The Head Seminarian

I might be the nicest person you'll ever meet, but if you don't believe me, that is because I hate you. I went to war, I went to father, I came, I saw, and it is a mess. I wouldn't have it any other way. Shitty people amuse me, people who act like human volcanoes fascinate me like fine art. Life is beautiful, and it is under attack in a manner heretofore unseen in history. I came to remind you of this, not make it worse. I might be writing a blog. Yes, that's all I am doing, now that I think about it. If you have a bad memory, you will forget this. Even I forget sometimes, so we're cool.

Posted on August 29, 2015, in Fucking Politics and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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