Daily Archives: August 28, 2015

Flushing Piyush

Obama to Bobby Jindal: suck my big black dick.

President Obama travels to New Orleans Thursday to celebrate the progress made in the 10 years since Hurricane Katrina, but also to urge action on climate change to prevent and mitigate future weather events from devastating coastal communities.

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal urged Obama not to “stray into climate change politics” or “the divisive political agenda of liberal environmental activism.”

Keep ’em stupid, Bobby. That’s the Republican way. But Barry O wasn’t interested in Jindal’s jive talk:

“We can build great levees. We can restore wetlands. But ultimately, what we also have to do is make sure that we don’t continue to see ocean levels rise, oceans getting warmer, storms getting stronger,” Obama told WWL anchor Sally-Ann Roberts.

Maybe if you wagged a finger in his face you might have gotten his attention. These governors are unbelievable.





The Universe Is About To Fold In On Itself

Remember that part in Ghostbusters where they had to try and make sure that Dana and Louis never meet because they will bring Gozer The Destroyer? That’s about how I feel about this:

In what can only be called the single greatest moment in the history of television—up there with the Moon Landing and the final episode of M*A*S*H*—tonight Sarah Palin will be interviewing Some rich asshole. Sarah Palin, best known for being wicked awesome with words and sentences and ideas will be having an exclusive sitdown with America’s favorite blunt racist object—Some rich asshole!

It makes sense. He’s got to court the stupid, crazy right wing( if indeed there is such a distinction to be made) of the conservative movement if he wants to secure the nomination. And who better to genuflect to than the kingmaker(more like clown prince) of the idiots, Sarah Palin.

Submitted for your approval…I bring you this from Palin’s page:

WTH? Lamestream media asks GOP personal, spiritual “gotchas” that they’d NEVER ask Hillary, or they’d feed the question to her and/or liberal cohorts before they asked it on-air (we know how these things work, lapdog media… the public’s on to you), so good on rich asshole for screwing with the reporter. By the way, even with my reading scripture everyday I wouldn’t want to answer the guy’s question either… it’s none of his business; it IS personal; what the heck does it have to do with serving as commander-in-chief; and these reporters trying to trip up conservatives can go pound sand until they ask the same things of their favored liberal pals. I’ll cover this in my interview with Some rich asshole and other candidates tonight on the One America News Network show “On Point.” The more the media does this, the more they empower America to reject them and their bias as voters run to the anti-status quo candidates daring to Go Rogue.

Sarah baby, I’m trying. I’m trying to ignore the run-on sentences, bizarre clauses and buzzwords to divine what you really mean. I think the gist of it is; the “liberal media” is being shitty to rich asshole, so I’m going to dig up my journalist creds and tell the real story.

Here’s what Sarah is bitching about:

Some rich asshole has recently grown fond of telling supporters on the campaign trail that his favorite book is the Bible — followed by his business tome “The Art of the Deal.” But when asked about his favorite Bible verse, the Republican presidential frontrunner declines to get specific.

 “I go to church and I love God and I love my church,” rich asshole boldly pronounced  in an interview on Bloomberg TV’s “With All Due Respect.” But he said the Bible was too personal to him to “get into specifics.”

“The Bible means a lot to me, but I don’t want to get into specifics,” rich asshole told Bloomberg’s Mark Halperin, refusing to list one or two favorite verses.

Pressed again, rich asshole said the Bible was simply too personal to discuss publicly: “I wouldn’t want to get into it because to me that’s very personal. You know, when I talk about the Bible, it’s very personal, so I don’t want to get into verses.”

I’m an atheist and I could at least come up with one or two quotes on the spot.

John Heilemann, searching for a workaround, then asked rich asshole if he considered himself “an Old Testament guy or a New Testament guy.”

“Probably equal,” rich asshole answered matter-of-factly, explaining his inability to select just one: “The whole Bible is just incredible.”

It’s no wonder Palin reacted to this. After all, Katie Couric may have torpedoed the Sarah Express with a similar well-aimed question. In my opinion, rich asshole was asking for it. He sat down with Frank Luntz, the FRC and Liberty U to discuss his faith, for fuck’s sake! And it was a weird exchange:

rich asshole, who told CNN earlier that he is both anti-abortion and anti-same-sex marriage, said people are surprised to learn about his Christian faith.

“People are so shocked when they find … out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church and I love God and I love my church,” he said.

Moderator Frank Luntz asked rich asshole whether he has ever asked God for forgiveness for his actions.

“I am not sure I have. I just go on and try to do a better job from there. I don’t think so,” he said. “I think if I do something wrong, I think, I just try and make it right. I don’t bring God into that picture. I don’t.”

rich asshole said that while he hasn’t asked God for forgiveness, he does participate in Holy Communion.

“When I drink my little wine — which is about the only wine I drink — and have my little cracker, I guess that is a form of asking for forgiveness, and I do that as often as possible because I feel cleansed,” he said. “I think in terms of ‘let’s go on and let’s make it right.'”

Damn that liberal media, who have turned Luntz, the Dobson crew, and the Falwell morons into “gotcha” pod people!

Bottom line, people want to know more about Some rich asshole. He’s been going around the country, babbling about his Bibble at every stop. And his comments have troubled conservative Christians who are confused by rich asshole’s unorthodox views. I can’t say I am surprised that the “media” are digging for more.

rich asshole: all hat, no cattle. First place. I’m lovin’ it.

Veteran’s Play

I can’t keep up with Ben Carson sometimes. He says so many idiotic and nasty things that I should rename this blog “Fuck Ben Carson, Hard”. What’s the good doctor opining on, you ask? This:

…the other thing that has to be done, is the size of the government has to be reduced significantly. There’s a lot of stuff that we’re doing that doesn’t make any sense. We have a Department of Veterans Affairs. We don’t need a Department of Veterans Affairs.

That’s it. I give up. He’s a joke candidate like Trump, trying to see how outrageous he can be without pissing off people. Imagine if a Democrat said that…we’d never hear the end of how we don’t support the troops. Is Ben Carson a military expert? Does he know the first thing about soldiering? Does he understand soldier’s needs after combat? Then why the fuck is he putting forth such stupefyingly jerked-off policies? Because he’s an idiot, and a dangerous one, just like the rest of them. Carson’s just out there being brain-dead more often. Of all the things to cut…of all the things…I’d have wound up having permanent residence in an asylum if the VA hadn’t saved me from myself when I came back damaged. Those are the stories you don’t hear enough of. Thanks to our lazy press, we only notice the VA’s work when it does not.They are a great organization and I owe my life to them, and it is full of great people.

Ben Carson is the one not making any sense. But he must have realized that what he said sounded terrible, so he gave himself an out:

Veterans Affairs should be folded in under the Department of Defense.

HAHAHAHAHAAA…you’re worried about bloat in the government and you want to turn veteran care over to the most profligate department in the fucker? This guy either cannot think on his feet or doesn’t really have any convictions other than the same old tired platitudes we’re used to seeing from cons. This is special dumbassery, though. Furthermore, if you fold it into the Department of Defense, aren’t the same costs going to occur, just under a different ledger line?

Here’s more from the interview I’m quoting from:

You know, 14% down recruitment for our volunteer army right now. Why, because they are looking at what we are doing to our veterans.

Total bullshit. What are they doing to the vets that is so bad? See above. We are a long way away from a Bonus Army, for sure. People are falling through the cracks, I get that. The system is straining under the weight of so many soldiers coming back broken. But like I said, a brand new bureaucracy under the DD is not going to make things better. Recruitment is probably down because our new crop of kidlets don’t really like our doctrine of endless war. But hey, I’m just stabbing in the dark, just like Ben Carson. The only difference is that I’m not delusional enough to want to be president while being so fucking thick.

You can thank the VA for that, by the way.

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