What The Fuck Is A “Black Walnut”?

This is how Herman Cain describes himself on the most notoriously dense morning show on television.

“Black walnut isn’t a flavor of the week,” he continued. “I can eat black walnut all the time — it’s not a flavor of the week! It’s not that heavy. You can eat it on the cone or in a cup,” he joked… “you’ll see black walnut moving up the charts.”

Great joke. Whatever the fuck it means.

This is probably what could best be described as a “senior moment”. It reminds me of Dave Greenberger’s Duplex Planet, a collection of fantastic cartoons by different authors that depict the strange things old people say. Or it would make a fantastic blaxploitation movie. Add addled to the reason not to vote for Mr. Pizza. Christ, this guy is so overconfident he has already written his “road to the White House” memoirs.

Beware of Black Walnut. You can put him in your pocket, eat him like a stick of gum, and save him behind your ear. Black Walnut will last a long time. I’m joking…the only difference is that I can tell when my jokes suck.

About The Head Seminarian

I went to war, I went to father, I came, I saw, and it is a mess. I wouldn't have it any other way. Shitty people amuse me, people who act like human volcanoes fascinate me like fine art. Life is beautiful, and it is under attack in a manner heretofore unseen in history. I might be writing a blog. Yes, that's all I am doing, now that I think about it. Even I forget sometimes, so we're cool.

Posted on October 4, 2011, in Fucking Politics, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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