Asshole In A Foxhole

Todd Starnes, like most conservative pundits, loves to be on the wrong side of an issue. Yesterday on Fox News(where else), he lamented the plight of one Chaplain Wes Modder, who is in hot water for being a chaplain that no one wants to go to because he can’t stop proselytizing long enough for someone to earnestly confide in him:

Lt. Cmdr. Wes Modder has been accused of failing to show “tolerance and respect” in private counseling sessions regarding issues pertaining to faith, marriage and sexuality – specifically homosexuality.

Just a few months ago, Modder’s commander called him “the best of the best” and a “consummate professional leader” worthy of an early promotion.

But all that changed after Modder’s assistant, a married gay officer at the base who was upset about the minister’s views on same-sex relationships and homosexuality, filed a complaint against the chaplain.

Modder is also accused of:

* Telling a woman that she was “shaming herself in the eyes of God” for having premarital sex.

* Telling a student that homosexuality was wrong and that “the penis was meant for the vagina and not for the anus.”

* Berating an unmarried student for becoming pregnant.

Starnes says that he talked to Modder’s lawyer who denies all the allegations. What were you expecting his lawyer to say, Todd? Even Robert Durst’s lawyers insist on his innocence, dude.

I did the Army for nine years. I was never in need of a chaplain because I was an atheist who preferred to see a doctor rather than a pastor to help me get my shit together. When I got out of the service and landed in the bugfuck house in 2011, I requested to see a chaplain because I could. I also demanded my psychologist, which they were slow to get me. So I’m glad the guy was there. He felt I was in special need of an ear. At the time of our meeting, I was convinced I was Allah so I guess he felt obligated to hear me out, which I would wish on no one in retrospect. Anyway, the guy brought me a beautiful Bible, the kind with gilt edges and vellum-like pages. I managed to lose it during my stay at the whacko ward, along with a copy of A People’s History of The United States in graphic novel form. My point is, chaplains do one important thing; they listen. Even though the chaplain gave me a decidedly Christian solution to my crazy, he did hear me out and didn’t make any judgements on me because he knew I was in trouble. Theirs is not to judge, and certainly not to convert.

People like Modder don’t have any sense of self-awareness. They don’t know that Christian evangelism is fucking annoying at best and hurtful at worst. I am fully aware that that is their holy mission:to win souls. But that’s not a chaplain’s purview, and Starnes doesn’t get that-because he’s a virgin and is too chickenshit to join the military and understand whereof he speaks. He, like the good chaplain, thinks  his position is perfectly reasonable.

If you don’t want the counsel of a Christian chaplain – don’t go to a Christian chaplain.

Not every Christian is an asshole like you, Todd. I know of a few flavors of Christian much less arrogant, and far more forgiving than yours. They do the real Lord’s Work. Fuckstick.


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