Monthly Archives: April 2015

Back To School, Fool

Steve Harvey…if I remember correctly, he was a funny guy. The man has two successful TV shows, writes books, and wins awards for them. He is riding high, he’s on a fantastic gravy train and is probably very, very wealthy. That’s great for Steve. I will not be caught dead perusing any of the media he generates, but I laud him for his achievements.

Fame, as I think we all know, does not confer smarts or wits. Of course, Steve has to have some, as it is his bread and butter. Maybe knows a little something about everything. Comedians usually have above average intelligence.

With a few notable exceptions. Observe:

Emmy Award-winning TV host and best-selling author Steve Harvey advises women not to date atheists because you don’t know where the man’s “moral barometer” is, and says that as far as someone not believing in God, “well, then, to me you’re an idiot.”

Hmm. How to apprehend these two assertions? He seems to not know any atheists. Almost all atheists have a moral code. It’s called humanism, and it calls for nothing less than the advancement of humanity in a positive, meaningful direction. We are all about love, the thing that resides in all of us if we could just listen to our hearts. I like to think I have a fairly decent conscience and a healthy “moral barometer”. As far as us being idiots, well…

Harvey, who also hosts a radio show and started his career in stand-up comedy, went on to say that Darwinism is essentially nonsense because he doesn’t think the universe “spun out of a gastrous ball and then all of a sudden we were evolved from monkeys.” If that were true, he says, then “why we still got monkeys?”

Wow. There’s so much ignorance in that sentence I barely know what to do with it. What the fuck does Darwinism have to do with the Big Bang theory? And what does the word “gastrous” mean? I had to look it up; it is basically a dead word that means “monstrous”. I guess I can concede that he is correct in a weird way. The universe is kind of monstrous in size and behavior. Then he goes on to say that all of a sudden we were evolved from monkeys… first off, it took a billion years for life to actually show itself on earth. Secondly, we are not monkeys, we are apes-and we migrated from the ape with the aid of a change in allele frequency, and it took miliions of years to produce man as we know him. So shit didn’t happen all of a sudden. This is a common mistake of the religious, to assume that evolution proceeds in quantum jumps. Nope. It’s as slow as molasses in a complicated life form like ours. Today, evolution is only evident in our species by observing our cultures; there’s hundreds of ways that man has figured out how to survive and produce success in managing our environment/territory. Some of them are fucked up, but that’s another post entirely.

Joy Behar tries to grill him on his pronunciamentos:

Behar: “Do you believe that only people who are religious are ethical and moral?”

Harvey: “No…”

Then:

“I just believe if you don’t believe in God, then where is your moral barometer?

…if you’re an atheist, you’re basing your goodness and morality on what?”

So you know you’re being a judgmental, stupid asshole. But there you are anyway, talking about shit you don’t get.

What Steve and Christians like him lack is a basic understanding of biology, philosophy and astrophysics. I ain’t sayin’ I fully understand it myself. But I am a curious ape, and I am learning. That’s the difference between you and me, Steve. I occasionally stick my beak into books other than the fucking bible. So stop projecting. You are the idiot.

Friday Night Massacre

Look! I found some journalism! Ashleigh Banfield of CNN obliterates Congrescritter Marsha Blackburn in a five minute fireblast. She’s on record criticizing the President for not using enough force against ISIS. Banfield wanted specifics as to what he should do. A vacant Blackburn repeatedly blithered out a bunch of crap about “generals on the ground”, “coalitions”, and even managed to trot out the names of the military units stationed in her district. Clap, clap. Banfield shot down every talking point she had.

It was kind of like watching a cat play with a half-dead bird. Sorry about the ad at the beginning, but this is good TV:

Thanks, Liberals Unite. Up you go on the ‘roll.

Rad Rage

I’ve been a bit slack lately. I have a decent excuse; I recently acquired Fallout 3(yeah, I know I’m late) and holy shit, is it addictive! My fingers are glued to the AWSD keys even when I am not playing. But fear not, I will find something to irritate me soon that I’m sure you must see. Go visit links on the right for good reads!

Adding To The Lexicon

I found a good name for hair-on-fire liberals who won’t support Democrats.

Manic-progressives. Here’s what you sound like:

Blow Wind Blow

Maybe I should start another blog dedicated to all the fucked up, batshit insane stuff Mike Huckabee says on the regular. Each utterance eclipses the last in its stupidity and delusion. He speaks for the lowest common denominator in this country. That’s Mike’s strategy to take the White House. Either that or he’s just another grifter trying to pocket some money from the crazies who dig what he believes. It’s most likely the latter; after all, the race could be one big book tour for Huck.

So what’s he up to today? Ah. Proclaiming Judge Dredd-style death sentences on burglars:

Over the weekend, Mike Huckabee was in New Hampshire to speak at the Republican Leadership Summit and while he was there, he sat down for an interview with conservative activist Kimberly Morin of the Manchester Political Buzz Examiner.

Huckabee went on to say that the only way to protect that freedom that he loves so much is “if we are able to outgun whoever wants to take that away from me,” warning that if somebody breaks into his house, “there will be a gunfight involved in that and I plan to win.”

“Yes, I will still call 911,” he added, “but it’s not going to be to call to helplessly wait as a victim while somebody ravages my family or my home. I call 911 to tell them where to come pick up the body of the son of a gun who broke into my house in the middle of the night”:

Amusing, since this kind of vigilante justice is illegal in his home state. Advocating for gun violence is pathetic, irresponsible and morally indefensible. Yet there are probably tens of thousands of people who subscribe to this kind of extreme philosophy. We’ve already seen too many instances where standing your ground looks a whole lot like summary execution.

Fuck Mike Huckabee. He should be elected mayor of an asylum rather than president.

Rick Rolled

Unelectable anal sex byproduct Rick Santorum whines about Christian victimhood to Tony Perkins. Breakdown:

For the first time in the history of our country, the government is attacking people, prosecuting people, calling for people to be rehabilitated, constraining in the military with our chaplaincy. We now see chaplain after chaplain being dismissed for not accepting the secular orthodoxy that this administration wants to put forward, criticizing people for holding biblical truth and counseling them in a biblically coherent way.

Chaplain after chaplain. Sorry, Rick, you’re already lying. There was, count them, one chaplain dismissed by the Navy, and it wasn’t because he was a Christian. It was because he was an asshole, filling soldiers full of guilt when he should have been exercising compassion. As I said, if your “truth” makes people uncomfortable, you should turn in your bars because you will be a terrible chaplain.

We see businesses being prosecuted.

Lying again. See here. And here. No one has been “prosecuted” for being a religious douche. In fact, it looks to me from here that it is actually being encouraged by law.

And I read an interesting article the other day; it’s actually not the free exercise of religion that is being attacked, it’s actually a new religion that is being established. So we have the state establishing a new religion, a secular state religion, a secular orthodoxy that everybody is going to have to comply with.

We have now the secular church that is being imposed on this country and anybody that defects is subject to persecution and prosecution.

This again? Ten yard penalty for calumny against the dictionary.

So get off the cross, Rick. You don’t know what real persecution looks like and your white, male Christian ass never will. Hit me up when they bring back the coliseums and maybe I will stand up for you.

Maybe.

Dry Powder

For a few days now, I’ve been trying to find information on the new US blockade of Yemen. Every goddamn paper and wire service repeats the same thing; that Iran is trying to send weapons to the Houthi rebels, and that Iranian vessels have moved into the Gulf of Aden. How do they know this? Officials who declined to be identified said so. Antiwar.com’s Jason Ditz doesn’t take the bait, and says that the US is chasing ghosts:

Last week, the Pentagon joined in the naval blockade of Yemen slightly, with a US ship boarding a Panamanian cargo ship they accused of having Iranian weapons on board. They didn’t find any.

Now, the US is doubling down, adding the USS Theodore Roosevelt, an aircraft carrier, along with several support ships, nominally to stop the weapons shipments that neither they, nor any of their allies, have been able to prove are happening.

So what we probably have here is that the dirt on Iran was leaked on purpose, and the media rushed the new agitprop to the public. But some of us demand better than “officials” spreading disinformation. Is there any limit to what we can accuse Iran of doing? It is bordering on the absurd.

QUICK UPDATE: The Iranian military is in the gulf, but:

“Iranian military vessels have been present in the Red Sea, Gulf of Aden and Gulf of Oman for a number of years.

Hassan Hanizadeh, Editor-in-chief of Iranian news agency Mehr News, has explained that the Iranian navy’s only purpose in the area is to protect its trade fleet.

So the ghost vessels are still out there, and the ones that are there have been there for a while.

Like A Monkey Trying To Fuck A Football

Shorter Erick Erickson: I don’t understand the new subtraction my kids are learning. Therefore, it must be some sort of indoctrination. You liberals and your “instructions”.

Stopped Clocks

I’ve gotten used to the idea that when I read something from a lawmaker with an “R” next to his or her name, I should expect lunacy to follow. I post so much bad news about them, I thought I would share some good stuff from Republicans:

Police-officers-turned-legislators sponsored two bills that passed with overwhelming bipartisan support in Illinois’ House of Representatives last week, which would reward inmates who continue their education behind bars with shorter sentences and sealed criminal records.

Last February, Rep. John Cabello (R-Machesney Park) sponsored HB 3149, which would seal criminal records for non-violent felony offenders seeking employment, if they receive a “high school diploma, associate’s degree, career certificate, vocational technical certification, or bachelor’s degree, or passed the high school level Test of General Educational Development” while completing their sentence. The same applies for individuals who earn a certificate during aftercare or supervised release.

A separate bill introduced two days later by Rep. John Anthony (R-Plainfield), HB 3884, says, “90 days of sentence credit shall be awarded to any prisoner who passes high school equivalency testing while the prisoner is committed to the Department of Corrections.” In other words, inmates will have 90 days deducted from their sentences. The credit can be tacked on to any credit that was previously earned by someone under DOC supervision.

I guess it is because they are regular joes who have good ideas about stopping recidivism. They’re not lawyers, and they’re not ideologues.
Amen.

Biff Bang Pow!

I’m gonna send you to His Rudeness today. Title:

Shut the Fuck Up and Support Hillary: A Message of Blind Hope

Correct. Get in line, morons.

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