Monthly Archives: May 2015

But The Drugs Don’t Like Me

Ready for a good one? Rick Perry says he was stoned during the 2012 debates:

All In, But…

Today I donated to the Clinton campaign. I got a car magnet and chipped in ten. But the rest of the Hillary store, well… it leaves something to be desired. I don’t like the logo either. Do you?

hillary logo.jpg.CROP.promovar-mediumlarge

OK. I understand, progress and all. But I wouldn’t know what it stood for if I wasn’t already aware of what it was. It doesn’t communicate. I guess I can be glad that is isn’t necessarily red white and blue for the flag suckers.

What difference does it make? None. The Republicans are hopelessly confused and that is that. Donate or shop here.

A Victory For Rationality

Why does Europe get to have all the fun? From Britain:

A devout mother made a legally binding promise, backed up with the threat of criminal sanctions, never to talk to her son about her religion, take him to church or even say grace at meals in a doomed attempt to stop him being taken into care, amid claims that she was “indoctrinating” him, a judge has disclosed.

The seven-year-old boy, who cannot be named, has been placed with foster carers because of fears that his mother, a Jehovah’s Witness, was causing him emotional harm by “immersing” him in her beliefs.

Details of the case were disclosed in a written judgment handed down by Judge Clifford Bellamy, after a hearing at the Family Court, sitting in Leicester, in which he set out his reasons for making an interim care order.

He found that the boy had suffered emotional harm as a result both of the conflict between the parents and, specifically, “immersion by his mother in her religious beliefs and practices”.

Let freedom ring! Read the whole thing, I could have snipped the whole article.

H/T: Why Evolution Is True

Syria’s New Next Door Neighbors

They’ve had enough:

Weakened by years of war, Syria’s government appears ready for the country’s de facto partition, defending strategically important areas and leaving much of the country to rebels and jihadists, experts and diplomats say.

Since the uprising against Assad began in March 2011 with peaceful protests, the government has lost more than three-quarters of the country’s territory, according to the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, a Britain-based monitor.

But the territory the regime controls accounts for about 50 to 60 percent of the population, according to French geographer and Syria expert Fabrice Balanche.

He said 10-15 percent of Syria’s population is now in areas controlled by IS, 20-25 percent in territory controlled by Al-Nusra or rebel groups and another five to 10 percent in areas controlled by Kurdish forces.

People close to the regime talk about a government retreat to “useful Syria”.

“The division of Syria is inevitable. The regime wants to control the coast, the two central cities of Hama and Homs and the capital Damascus,” one Syrian political figure close to the regime said.

B-b-but what about the moderates?

I guess now we know what areas to firebomb now…

Don’t Know Much Biology

Oh look, it’s an ignorant-ass Christian mouthing off about shit he doesn’t understand…somehow, evolution got dragged into the Duggar debate:

Eric Hovind — son of imprisoned creationist theme park operator Kent Hovind – said Duggar was the victim of a double standard by the media, which he said praised sins such as lust, abortion, and homosexuality but condemned “confession, judgment, and forgiveness.”

Naturally, he blamed evolution.

“If evolution is true, then there is no absolute right and wrong,” Hovind said. “If evolution is true Josh should not have admitted his faults over a decade ago because what one evolved bag of molecules does to another bag of molecules just doesn’t really matter. If evolution is true there is no ultimate Judge on the bench who will hold every man, woman, and child responsible for their actions. And if evolution is true you will not give an account for every idle word you speak.”

You stupid, stupid sad motherfucker. How depressing it must be to need an angry God to get you to behave correctly. I know right from wrong. I follow the laws and customs of my surroundings. I also have empathy in my heart for my fellow human beings, because I would ask them to have the same for me. That is just common sense, you don’t need a fucking bible to suss this.

Furthermore, is he really insinuating that we aren’t made of molecules because evolution isn’t true? Those are two different things. Not believing we are made of them is a deeper level of dumb that I can’t fathom. This brand of Christianity is a blight. One fervently hopes that someday, social evolution will weed these mindless cretins out.

Burn Motherfucker Burn


Beers, Steers, And Queers

Texas justifies our much needed inoculation from its utter stupidity. Even the goddamn Democrats voted for this steamer:

A bill clarifying that clergy members have the right to refuse to conduct marriages violating their beliefs tentatively passed the Texas House 141-2 Thursday.

State Rep. Patricia Harless, R-Spring, said the bill was about protecting pastors who feared what may happen in the future related to marriage and the law.

“Maybe pastors won’t be sued but we need some protection in case they are,” Harless said.

A grand total of two legislators were interested in why this was necessary:

The two “no” votes on the bill were state Reps. Terry Canales, D-Edinburg, and Armando Walle, D-Houston.

During the House debate, Canales asked Sanford about what situation the bill was trying to prevent, as he was not aware of a situation in which a religious clergy member has been prosecuted for not marrying a couple.

Surely the Texas legislators have something better to do than conduct show votes on issues that have nothing to do with reality.

Assuming this makes me as dumb as they are.

Iraq Is Fucked And There Is Nothing To Be Done About It

Is ISIS really a terrorist organization? Not really. It is a movement, with a voracious army at its disposal. I guess we’ve gotten used to the idea that anyone who opposes us and our proxies is now branded as a terrorist group. It’s bullshit. ISIS is just another iterative force in the endless Sunni-Shi’a civil war. And if you’ve been reading the papers, you will note that the Iraqi army has no stomach for the fight. That’s because Iraq is a goner, and no one really wants to fight under its aegis. Loyalties lie with their respective sects.

Perhaps in order to justify the dead and maimed we’ve produced trying to save that sorry ass failed state, we have made the ISIS fight our business. But the public is war-weary, and our President is smart enough to notice this. So we are doing what we can. But it isn’t enough. Air power only entrenches an enemy even deeper. It didn’t work in Vietnam and it won’t work now. In fact, the parallels to that stupid war are a little unnerving. It began with air war and advisers too.

And now the military community is beginning to whine. It wants more action. They want more dead bodies, more blood and treasure, more lucre for the military industrial complex. Like our last escapade in Iraq, it will be a horrid, soul-draining block-to-block fight that will consume our soldiers. It won’t be enough because we will eventually leave, and some other fucked up movement will retake that which we fought so valiantly to save once again.

Enough already. We lost. It was inevitable. ISIS poses no threat to the United States. It’s all about keeping the oil, and that is not a good reason to die. You’ve seen it a hundred times in print-Islam needs to duke it out, and we should avoid getting in between the respective clans. I assume we’re gonna arm them to the teeth and let them go at it eventually. Because we suck. As the Decemberists once said, cause America can, and America can’t say no.

UPDATE: Here we go. Please God, let us ignore this addlehead.

Quick Reminder

Tomorrow is a holiday. It’s just another reason to barbecue in ‘Murica, but some might stop to pour one out for our dead brothers in arms. I can’t guarantee I will act in a particular fashion, even though I soldiered for nine years and spent my time in the IED-strewn sandbox that they will soon not call Iraq. I know of one person in my former units who died while on mission from said devices. I thought he was a total asshole while he was alive, and was not moved when I found out he got blown up. So that’s my only real connection to Memorial Day.

That sounds terrible. So many good people died fighting for this fucked up country who were mensches. I should remember them when I am halfway through my hot dog. Anyway, I am way off track. What I wanted to remind you of is that tomorrow is a day for the dead, not the survivors. I have had enough people thanking me for my service on this day in the past.

No. That is what Veteran’s Day is for. Feel free to honor me then, if you are so inclined. But not too much. For most of us, it was just another occupation, we didn’t join because we were patriots. We were unemployed. We got drafted. Maybe we were following a multi-generational history of service in a family. Some relished the idea of killing the fuck out of some people. I guess I liked the concept that we were sworn to defend the Constitution…but that was most definitely NOT what I was doing in Iraq. And the same goes for all of our other wars abroad.

Eh. To hell with it all. But if you feel otherwise, just remember who you are celebrating. Oh, don’t forget to salute those that the dead have left behind. Those families have lost more than you can ever imagine.

Don’t Tell Me No Lies

The subsets of rabid conservatives and hardcore Christians behave similarly in places. For example, if you are a stupid con and Wikipedia and Facebook look liberal(sane), why, create your own. If your child’s school dares to talk about how people behave sexually, then homeschool. Each move is designed to punch one’s own restrictive, constrained space in the larger, more well adjusted sphere of ordinary people. So it goes with crazy Christians-if you refuse to comprehend a word of evolution, you can bend over backwards to find answers in a convoluted, ostensibly ineffable 2000 year old book inspired by a god who doesn’t visit his creation any more because we are not worthy of his presence. If you are a base and wretched sinner, you can go to a Christian “treatment center” for re-education, Jesus-style. These clubs/cults reinforce themselves by eschewing traditional courses of healing and research.

Sometimes these measures fall short of their usefulness. Sometimes hypocrisy runs rampant and we find that the solutions collapse under their own shaky load. The unfolding saga of Josh Duggar is a great example showing that Jesus’ love cannot save them from themselves. When Josh was caught diddling his sisters, Jim Bob Duggar sent him to be “rehabilitated”. And it looks like he learned a lot-from some interesting characters:

The founder of a chain of Christian “treatment” centers Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar sent their eldest son to for molesting five girls — including his sisters — resigned in 2014 under a cloud of accusations that he had “sexually groomed” and harassed young women and teens in his ministry.

Bill Gothard, a Christian writer and minister, founded the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) in 1961, as a way to help families resolve issues by using Biblical principles. Among the services offered at IBLP are ministry seminars, community outreach, counseling for troubled Christians, and mentoring Christian youth.

Gothard, and IBLP, has a colorful history with his Gothard’s brother Steve being forced out after having affairs with a few of the institute’s secretaries.

Gothard himself left under a cloud in 2014, amid accusations that he had sexually harassed multiple women and failed to report allegations of child abuse at IBLP.

When you drench yourself in a broth of denial of self and natural urges, when you cloak yourself in self-righteousness and piety, you tend to act inappropriately at some point. Ask the Catholic Church. Don’t get me wrong, the faithless can be victim to bad thoughts and actions, but what’s missing is the irony.

Save us, Lord. From your adherents, above all.

UPDATE: The Hammer has the final word on these sanctimonous turds.

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