The White Stuff

Look, I’m glad that kid lunches at school are getting healthier. But it’s no big deal, see? That square pizza and the mystery burgers did not make me fat, stunt my growth or otherwise put a damper on my ability to learn. Schools are trying to do what’s best for kids, and I can and do appreciate when they improve my child’s school experience.

But now and then the school just flat out goes too far in the application of these ostensibly benign measures to keep kids safe and healthy. Hey, Denver, cut the shit:

Four-year old Natalee Pearson came home from school on Friday with an unexpected note from the school – a scolding from the school to her mother Leeza Pearson for packing Oreo cookies in with her daughter’s lunch. The school had not allowed Natalee to eat them, taking them from her to send back home with the warning letter.

“Dear Parents, It is very important that all students have a nutritious lunch. This is a public school setting and all children are required to have a fruit, a vegetable, and a healthy snack from home, along with milk. If they have potatoes, the child will also need bread to go along with it. Lunchables, chips, fruit snacks, and peanut butter are not considered to be a healthy snack. This is a very important part of our program and we need everyone’s participation.”

Nope, fucking with a four-year old’s head is shitty. A little kid loves their treats. Moms and Dads like to let them know that we are thinking of them. The child will not come down with a chronic condition just because she has a few cookies. My wife and I can’t stand this type of policing; first you have parents treating their little squirts like precious china, trying to make sure that nothing bad ever, ever happens to them. Now the state is taking over the job? Fuck that shit. You don’t take a kindergartener’s cookies away, and you sure as hell don’t castigate me for poor parenting. I hope the mom takes this stupid shit to the top of the chain.

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